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1.) I know I suffer from all kinds of mental disorders-social anxiety, depression, avoidant personality, bi-polar, mood swings(massive) and only I know the kind of torment I go through. There is no way in hell I'd want my child to go through the same. I have gone through phases where I go "better death than this life".
2.)Population explosion: Everywhere I go I see people. I am from a country with a population of 1.2 billion. Selfish people with self serving agenda(family, lineage continuation, society standing blah blah) who don't give a f@ck about the bigger, universal picture. What about the whales and the African lion. What about job prospect and environmental destruction.
3.)Too much responsibility: I see people with babies and it eats them. It is a massive responsibility-financially, emotionally. If I know I can't take care of my own self as of now I have no business bringing something just for the heck of it and becoming dependent on the system.
4.)selfishness: I want to be loved. More than anything.If my significant other will start paying the baby more attention I'd feel bad, especially since I am a late bloomer. I'd want sex lots of time, movie watching lots of time, just loving each other lots of time.
My parents are already aghast. They say it is my moral responsibility to give them grand kids.
1. is by far the most important reason not to have kids in your case. You might even pass some of those disorders on to your kids if there is a genetic component.
I would not give a damn about what your parents want, you are not obliged to give them anything. Gee, time for them to stop being chimps...
1.) I know I suffer from all kinds of mental disorders-social anxiety, depression, avoidant personality, bi-polar, mood swings(massive) and only I know the kind of torment I go through. There is no way in hell I'd want my child to go through the same. I have gone through phases where I go "better death than this life".
2.)Population explosion: Everywhere I go I see people. I am from a country with a population of 1.2 billion. Selfish people with self serving agenda(family, lineage continuation, society standing blah blah) who don't give a f@ck about the bigger, universal picture. What about the whales and the African lion. What about job prospect and environmental destruction.
3.)Too much responsibility: I see people with babies and it eats them. It is a massive responsibility-financially, emotionally. If I know I can't take care of my own self as of now I have no business bringing something just for the heck of it and becoming dependent on the system.
4.)selfishness: I want to be loved. More than anything.If my significant other will start paying the baby more attention I'd feel bad, especially since I am a late bloomer. I'd want sex lots of time, movie watching lots of time, just loving each other lots of time.
My parents are already aghast. They say it is my moral responsibility to give them grand kids.
First of all my advice is that if you really feel this way that you should find a mate that is similarly minded. I wanted children and my wife didn't. Well she went ahead and had them anyways and it has turned out poorly. She is not a good parent and 2X of the responsibility is now on me and I'm exhusted! Yes, it was stupid of me to do this but when I was younger, but I really had no undrstanding of people that grew up in unhappy homes. I had an awesome childhood and could easily see all the positives of having children. I couldn't even understand the perspective of someone with a negative outlook toward having children. Heed my warning and don't let this situation occur in your life.
Also, if you really feel strongly about not having kids I suggest you get sterilized. Even if you use contraception religiously, there is a fair chance that a pregnancy will occur over the long run.
So please do not marry someone that wants kids, you will only make your life miserable.
1.) I know I suffer from all kinds of mental disorders-social anxiety, depression, avoidant personality, bi-polar, mood swings(massive) and only I know the kind of torment I go through. There is no way in hell I'd want my child to go through the same. I have gone through phases where I go "better death than this life".
2.)Population explosion: Everywhere I go I see people. I am from a country with a population of 1.2 billion. Selfish people with self serving agenda(family, lineage continuation, society standing blah blah) who don't give a f@ck about the bigger, universal picture. What about the whales and the African lion. What about job prospect and environmental destruction.
3.)Too much responsibility: I see people with babies and it eats them. It is a massive responsibility-financially, emotionally. If I know I can't take care of my own self as of now I have no business bringing something just for the heck of it and becoming dependent on the system.
4.)selfishness: I want to be loved. More than anything.If my significant other will start paying the baby more attention I'd feel bad, especially since I am a late bloomer. I'd want sex lots of time, movie watching lots of time, just loving each other lots of time.
My parents are already aghast. They say it is my moral responsibility to give them grand kids.
Your parents are wrong. It is much more selfish to have children for the wrong reasons.
1.) I know I suffer from all kinds of mental disorders-social anxiety, depression, avoidant personality, bi-polar, mood swings(massive) and only I know the kind of torment I go through. There is no way in hell I'd want my child to go through the same. I have gone through phases where I go "better death than this life".
2.)Population explosion: Everywhere I go I see people. I am from a country with a population of 1.2 billion. Selfish people with self serving agenda(family, lineage continuation, society standing blah blah) who don't give a f@ck about the bigger, universal picture. What about the whales and the African lion. What about job prospect and environmental destruction.
3.)Too much responsibility: I see people with babies and it eats them. It is a massive responsibility-financially, emotionally. If I know I can't take care of my own self as of now I have no business bringing something just for the heck of it and becoming dependent on the system.
4.)selfishness: I want to be loved. More than anything.If my significant other will start paying the baby more attention I'd feel bad, especially since I am a late bloomer. I'd want sex lots of time, movie watching lots of time, just loving each other lots of time.
My parents are already aghast. They say it is my moral responsibility to give them grand kids.
I believe it's your choice to do as you please. My wife and I have a daughter but we don't plan on having any more children. A lot of people seem shocked by this but it's our choice and we have our reasons. I love my daughter and wouldn't trade her for the world but we simply do not want anymore children.
Going childless, only having one child, having a bunch of children...they are all options. Whether they are right for you or not is something only you can decide.
My parents are already aghast. They say it is my moral responsibility to give them grand kids.
Bullshyt.
If you are not emotionally or financially ready to have children....DON'T.
Don't let your parents bully and pressure you into bringing children into this world unless they are fully prepared to fork it over without question when things get difficult financially...and unless they are willing to take the kids off your hands for a few DAYS at a time when you are emotionally needy yourself.
I disagree with #2. The birthrate worldwide is dropping. The biggest problem with the environment is about poor management, not overpopulation. Humans are short sighted, so they don't managed any resource particularly well (ranging from money to the natural environment).
In certain areas the birthrate is slowing but that in no way means there is going to be a worldwide decline in population. The worldwide population is projected to continue to grow for decades more. The only countries with current or projected negative birthrates are first world countries. Either way there is absolutely no shortage of humans on this planet.
That aside, to the OP, no. If you don't want kids don't have them. If your parents want kids so bad let them adopt. You live your life, not theirs. There are far too many unwanted children in this world as it is.
Bullshyt.
If you are not emotionally or financially ready to have children....DON'T.
Don't let your parents bully and pressure you into bringing children into this world unless they are fully prepared to fork it over without question when things get difficult financially...and unless they are willing to take the kids off your hands for a few DAYS at a time when you are emotionally needy yourself.
Only a few days? Kids are a life-long commitment... a few days off won't cut it.
Only a few days? Kids are a life-long commitment... a few days off won't cut it.
A few days at a time, so that the OP can have a bit of a vacation from her kids, and have some time alone with spouse.
This was not meant as a one-time thing only...but, whenever needed and called for...for the OP's parents to be willing to take them for days at a time. Several times a year.
I know kids are a lifelong commitment. Didn't mean to imply otherwise. BUT...my point was...if the OP's parents want grandchildren so bad...then they better be prepared, at any time, and on a moment's notice...to take the kids off the OP's hands for a few days at a time to give OP a break/vacation from the kids...and see to own needs. That was my point.
A few days at a time, so that the OP can have a bit of a vacation from her kids, and have some time alone with spouse.
This was not meant as a one-time thing only...but, whenever needed and called for...for the OP's parents to be willing to take them for days at a time. Several times a year.
I know kids are a lifelong commitment. Didn't mean to imply otherwise. BUT...my point was...if the OP's parents want grandchildren so bad...then they better be prepared, at any time, and on a moment's notice...to take the kids off the OP's hands for a few days at a time to give OP a break/vacation from the kids...and see to own needs. That was my point.
I still don't think a few days at a time will cut it. Unless the grandparents want to legally adopt the child as their own, then forget it. Otherwise, the child is ultimately your responsibility.
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