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1.) I know I suffer from all kinds of mental disorders-social anxiety, depression, avoidant personality, bi-polar, mood swings(massive) and only I know the kind of torment I go through. There is no way in hell I'd want my child to go through the same. I have gone through phases where I go "better death than this life".
2.)Population explosion: Everywhere I go I see people. I am from a country with a population of 1.2 billion. Selfish people with self serving agenda(family, lineage continuation, society standing blah blah) who don't give a f@ck about the bigger, universal picture. What about the whales and the African lion. What about job prospect and environmental destruction.
3.)Too much responsibility: I see people with babies and it eats them. It is a massive responsibility-financially, emotionally. If I know I can't take care of my own self as of now I have no business bringing something just for the heck of it and becoming dependent on the system.
4.)selfishness: I want to be loved. More than anything.If my significant other will start paying the baby more attention I'd feel bad, especially since I am a late bloomer. I'd want sex lots of time, movie watching lots of time, just loving each other lots of time.
My parents are already aghast. They say it is my moral responsibility to give them grand kids.
If you do not want to have children then do not have children.
Tell your parents you are not going to have children no matter what they think.
You owe no one anything when it comes to children and moral responsibility.
Whose morals are they using? Theirs? Tell them to have their own if they want more children.
Tell your parents to get over their own issues about grand children and respect the choices you have made for your life as a responsibile adult.
PS ~~ You do not need to explain your choice to anyone including your parents and a bunch of random strangers on a public forum.
1.) I know I suffer from all kinds of mental disorders-social anxiety, depression, avoidant personality, bi-polar, mood swings(massive) and only I know the kind of torment I go through. There is no way in hell I'd want my child to go through the same. I have gone through phases where I go "better death than this life".
2.)Population explosion: Everywhere I go I see people. I am from a country with a population of 1.2 billion. Selfish people with self serving agenda(family, lineage continuation, society standing blah blah) who don't give a f@ck about the bigger, universal picture. What about the whales and the African lion. What about job prospect and environmental destruction.
3.)Too much responsibility: I see people with babies and it eats them. It is a massive responsibility-financially, emotionally. If I know I can't take care of my own self as of now I have no business bringing something just for the heck of it and becoming dependent on the system.
4.)selfishness: I want to be loved. More than anything.If my significant other will start paying the baby more attention I'd feel bad, especially since I am a late bloomer. I'd want sex lots of time, movie watching lots of time, just loving each other lots of time.
My parents are already aghast. They say it is my moral responsibility to give them grand kids.
First, I hope all of the diagnostics of yourself are firm due to a good psychiatrist and not some hack of a psychologist who went to community college. If all that is true, then you have more burdens to bear than normal and having a child would not help but hinder.
Second, child rearing isn't for sissies nor the narcissists among us. If you cannot live by a sacrificial code, then you would be hopeless and your child would be as well. Two narcissists (all children are that) would be way too much to handle.
Third, I applaud anyone who makes the decision to go childless. All I ask is that you not complain about others who have kids and are doing the best they can in surviving the process. Our offspring are going to bear the burden of everyone's social security and Medicare and Medicaid. We invested in our children heavily, sacrificially, and everyone else gets some return on that investment.
It's not selfish, it's wise. If you know you wouldn't make a good parent, choosing not to have kids is the smartest thing you can do. People used to have kids because it was expected; there was strong societal pressure to do so. So people who didn't want kids, or weren't cut out to be parents had kids, with disastrous consequences for the kids. Thank heaven those days are over, and people can opt to be child-free.
No. But in this overpopulated world of dwindling food, fresh water and other natural resources, it could be considered selfish to want kids, though.
On another note, the only people calling those who choose to be childless "selfish" are those who regret their decision to have children, and are envious of the lifestyle the child-free lead. Misery loves company, after all.
In my earlier years I always thought kids were a pain in the butt and why would i ever want to burden myself with them,as time went on i got married and shortly thereafter we were parents to a beautiful baby girl,not long after we had another beautiful baby girl, while kids can be a handfull at times its not all negatives,watching them grow is a joy for me,all the things you do with them and the places you go and the other parents you meet is very rewarding, now i derive much pleasure watching their lives unfold as they head out in the world to make lives of their own.
At this point i couldnt imagine a life without them, its nice to know that they will always have fond memories of Mom and Dad and can have many stories to tell of this and that and experiences they gained.
At 66yrs old the kids give my life relevance,it gives my life a sense of continuance after i'm gone.
Those friends of mine who chose not to have kids seem to be missing something in their lives that only a full family can bring and those that are divorced or for whatever reason live alone i just dont understand how they endure the loneliness of living a life all by themselves..
While for some its a good idea to not have kids and others in their youth may not relish the thought of having kids be aware that as one ages different ways of thinking occur and what may not be plausible in your youth may become very enjoyable as you get older..
I think that's why I love my animals. I never feel lonely with my boys and cat around. All three of them are never far away. I love kids and have many visitors. There's three that spend the night with us at least once a month. It's very expensive and sometimes they drive me crazy. I don't understand how people do it 24/7. I get the best of both worlds. I spoil them rotten, turn them into monsters, and send them back home for someone else to deal with. There's no doubt in my mind that some of them will visit us in our old age. I couldn't love them more if they were my own, besides it's nice to have choices with whom I decide to have in my life. Give birth to a loser and you're stuck with them forever. I'll always have the cream of the crop in my life.
I was told I was selfish for not having children before I had one, and told I was selfish for having one after I did. So it's pointless to worry about whether other people think you're "selfish" about such things. Whether it's *advisable* for a particular couple to have children is another question, and clearly, for some people with severe emotional or financial issues who don't have a good chance of being successful parents, it is not.
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There's no doubt in my mind that some of them will visit us in our old age. I couldn't love them more if they were my own, besides it's nice to have choices with whom I decide to have in my life. Give birth to a loser and you're stuck with them forever. I'll always have the cream of the crop in my life.
