Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It's impossible to hear silence, you always hear the ringing in your ears and yourself breathing. What's comforting about that? I always sleep with my TV or radio on because I don't like random sounds, car horns, dogs barking and people milling about.
There's not supposed to be ringing in your ears.
Listening to the breath can be calming and centering.
You can sleep with earplugs to eliminate random sounds.
However, everyone else in this situation has also been forced into unwelcome socializing and they're doing their part.
I'm not sure the vast majority of others find these situations as unwelcome as quiet people do.
Some people seem absolutely gleeful to chatter on looking for some common ground.
I'm simply someone who finds that annoying. If I want conversation I am more than willing to strike something up but its simply not that often that I have any real desire to do so.
I agree to some extent with the person who said some of these people can't stand to be along in their own thoughts particularly if they require background noise at all times. I think with others its just sheer compulsion, and for a few its probably some sort of manifestation of a control issue.
Yeah, shoulda, woulda, coulda. Probably a lot of things that "shouldn't" be in this life; and yet they are anyway. If they ring, they ring. And once they start, they never stop....
I do prefer silence. Or, at least, I don't mind it. My parents drive me nuts when I visit them because they always have the TV on, even if they're not watching anything. As soon as they walk out of the room, I launch myself toward the mute button. I have a desk fan that I run during the night as sort of a white noise generator. It helps lessen the sounds of people from the parking lot below.
As for talking, I think this is partly an introvert vs extrovert issue. Introverts tend not to like small talk, either.
When I was a teen my mom would tell me to talk more, as other kids might see me as aloof. I think people assume that when you're quiet you're not interested in them and it ruffles their feathers. When really what I'm doing, as an introvert, is listening (wow, what a concept) and taking in the conversation, and if it's a new group of people I might be analyzing things a bit more, getting a feel for the people, and I'll speak when I feel I have something to say. I can't stand people who just blabber on about nothing just because. It seems exhausting. (And I hated in school that class participation was based on who spoke most, not who actually gave thoughtful comments. That seems pretty common in society, though).
But it's not that I don't like to talk. I recently met up with a good friend and we chatted nonstop for several hours. We're both introverts, but the conversation was about all the things that we know about each other and wanted to get caught up on. It was meaningful chatter. No small talk, technically.
If I know I'm going to be with a new group of people, I'll try to come up with some questions ahead of time to ask. And honestly, instead of saying "you're quiet" the situation would be better served by asking a question about something, too. (Like, "Am I talking too much?" )
This story is probably apocryphal, but apparently President Calvin Coolidge was a quiet person, too. At some social event someone told him that they had a bet that he'd say more than two words the whole evening. Silent Cal's response was just: "You lose."
i am not much of a talker. people are right. most talkative people just yap about insignificant bullisht that i do not have an opinion on.
if i like you or find you easy to talk to, i might be more inclined to strike up a bit more conversation(i'll still keep to myself for the most part). if i am really quiet around you and don't talk to you at all, it usually means you annoy me and i don't like you. when you ask why i am so quiet, refer to my previous explanation. simple as that. it's not rocket science.
and ffs, what gives anyone the impression that people will be more talkative and affable to you if you single them out for being quiet? if anything, that makes you even more of a dick and more likely to be avoided. stop being so obtuse and take a hint.
Some people are just quiet, Period, and it shouldn't take rocket science for those around him/her to realize that. But I think people get perplexed with someone like me has quiet periods and they can't leave well enough alone.
I tend to get quite chatty and, at times, ramble on when I talk (although I'm not at all like that with strangers). But there are days, and moods, when I want to enjoy just being QUIET, and it bugs the heck out of people. One time I went through a period where I had extra things weighing in my mind, and my boss actually called me into a meeting with her because someone else in the office asked her if something was wrong with me!! In reality I am outgoing only at work; away from the office I am not.
Nothing worse than trying to concentrate and someone keeps talking on and on...especially when they know you are busy trying to read something.
I was always the type that needed quiet though to study when I was in school. I know others who had their stereo going when they were studying. We're all different, I guess.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
if anything, that makes you even more of a dick and more likely to be avoided. stop being so obtuse and take a hint.
Silence
