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A few years ago I took a Public Speaking Class with Dale Carnegie. My employer paid a pretty penny for the two day class but it was worth it. One thing that stood out was having to read a boring page from a document but with incredible passion and energy. No matter how excited we were it would not satisfy the instructor. Most people had so many social and psychological barriers that they really struggled not wanting to make a fool of themselves. I understand now why people struggle with public speaking.
I am better talking to strangers than public speaking, although when I am in front of a large audience and about to perform a speech, I calm down once I begin...I am just in fear of all those eyes looking at me.
Talking with strangers doesn't have to be stupid and fake or pointless drivel. If you have a positive attitude, and you listen to what people are saying, you can find common ground with a great many people, even if it doesn't appear that way from the way they look/where they work, etc.
I had a great conversation at my friend's large dinner party on Friday night with a man 25 years older than myself who happens to be a computer programmer.
To my great suprise, a chance comment of mine revealed that he loves Jane Austen and is reading all her books. She is my fave author. He was the last person at the dinner table I thought I'd have anything in common with, but we both ended up enjoying our conversation very much. Of course, a Jane Austen conversation would be considered boring drivel by many, so don't tear my head off for an example...
Both, small talk with strangers and public speaking, have me shaking in my boots. I can make small talk with people in the grocery store or whatever, but in a forced situation, such as my husband's office Christmas party where he didn't know much of any one and I knew absolutely no one. Very painful!! We tried to talk with people, but its like they were not interested at all. I don't plan on going any more and neither does he.
I don't mind public speaking. I just mind the 5 days in advance when I have to worry about public speaking. Small talk is easy, as long as it isn't with authority figures of some variety.
Public speaking is harder, IMO because the consequences of failure are much worse than small talk. Preparation is essential.
As 'puffle' said about small talk (but with a different conclusion), "Most people could care less about what you're saying". IMO that makes small talk much easier - who cares? Just say something, you might hit on a topic for conversation. However, I would prepare some topics for a 'neighborhood Holiday party' like: current non-political news, neighborhood history, and moon phase (i.e., now waxing gibbous) or Geminids meteor shower (couple of days ago). Oh yeah, I'm the life of the party
If I'm speaking in public, as long as I'm speaking from a personal experience, I'm fine. If I need to speak in a way to educate or inform the audience, then I need to do my research and put together a good speech. If I had to do it for a a living, I doubt I'd like it that much.
Small talk is my specialty. I love getting to know people and what they're all about. I've never been called shy. I do find it frustrating though when people don't respond or their answers are one word answers.
Mrs. H has the right attitude towards public speaking: it's a performance. With a past as a musician, I find public speaking much easier; I can recognize symptoms of nervousness and adjust accordingly. I don't even use scripts or speeches very often anymore; I prefer an outline that I can improvise off of (if it's a job talk I'll "perform" my presentation several times beforehand to make it a bit more pat). Small talk, on the other hand, is the bane of my existence. Lord but I hate talking to random people I don't know and don't want to know! And the previous poster's comment about the hairdresser cracked me up: that's just how I feel!
Edit: dang, I see I got pulled into an old thread.
For me, it's a bit more complicated than just "small talk" and "public speaking" in general.
Public speaking in cases where I (a) haven't had a chance to prepare for it, meaning I have to improvise as I go, or (b) am not familiar enough with the subject matter to a point where I feel confident about it....that can be a little hard for me. The hardest part is getting started; it gets easier once I get into it.
OTOH, public speaking where I feel prepared and/or very knowledgeable about the subject - that's clearly easier for me. I'm more confident, and have gotten compliments on my presentations.
Now small talk - that depends on how much I have in common with the other person(s), or how well we can relate to each other. If we have plenty in common, then small talk is no problem...it can even come easy. Otherwise, it's harder...there may be more periods of silence. As for strangers...some strangers give off a vibe where you quickly feel comfortable around them. Small talk is no big deal in those situations.
I'm strongly considering Toastmasters to try and improve in both areas. I'm not terrible at them...just not where I want to be. I've accomplished a number of good things in my life, but there are still some remaining goals; some of which cannot be easily achieved unless I get better in these areas.
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