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Does anybody else have any thoughts on this? Is my situation something to be genuinely concerned about? Do I need AA or would I be fine with just a strong will?
Thanks for asking. Personally, I have a VERY non-PC slant on this problem.
According to AA, every adult on earth is an alcoholic. The earth's alcoholics are divided into two classes: those who admit they are alcoholics, and those who are in denial.
Listen - really listen - to the pitch sometime.
As somebody who is up either working or studying from 8 PM till 2 AM most nights, I go through a coupla beers. My symbolic gesture that I am "off work". My outcomes are not in dispute. My programs run on time and on budget because I develop the plans and track the spending. Most people don't - takes too much time. I'm fortunate that I really like what I do, and my kids are grown and out of the house. I can geek out to my heart's content.
My counsel: don't get sucked in by the Moonies. The signature characteristic of alcoholism is turning mean on a dime. When you don't know beforehand that you're going to erupt into a blind rage. If you ever find yourself in that circumstance, it is a dead sure tell. Keep your third eye - the one that is self-reflective - on your behavior, and be ruthlessly honest.
OP - I think its great that you are actually reflecting on this and trying to make some decisions about how to move forward in your life. Just that alone puts you miles ahead of many people who end up with substance abuse issues.
Have you ever heard of the stages of change in motivational interviewing (which is an approach used in helping people with substance abuse issues)? The lowest level is pre-contemplation, and then it goes up from there. It looks like you are currently at the Contemplation level... (google can provide you a lot more info)
I can definitely relate to this. While the total amount I drink is trivial compared to a lot of alcoholics, I still definitely have an unhealthy relationship with the drink. What I really need to do is commit to going a specific amount of time without alcohol and after that, commit to only drinking socially. I think I would be fine even in my current drinking pattern if I cut out the alone drinking, which is probably half to 60% of my alcohol consumption with the rest being social drinking. Most of the time when I am drinking socially, unless it's a special occasion, I will stop after one or two drinks. When drinking alone at home, it's much easier to talk myself into "just one more."
I haven't read all the replies, so I don't know if anyone has mentioned it, but you might consider looking into Moderation Management.
You can get support and information about how to best control your drinking at healthy levels, not making you quit altogether, unless you want to.
I haven't read all the replies, so I don't know if anyone has mentioned it, but you might consider looking into Moderation Management.
I have looked at Moderation Management and I think it could be a great option for people like myself who are problem drinkers yet have not progressed to physical addiction. Thing is though, my current drinking pattern is within the limits imposed by Moderation Management (14 per week, no more than 4 on one occasion). Very rarely do I have a week where I exceed that.
I think my game plan right now is to make it 30 days without drinking alone, yet allow myself to drink socially. As I have mentioned before, doing this would cut out about 60% or more of my entire alcohol consumption. I don't believe my social drinking habits are anything to be concerned about. If I am unable to keep that commitment, then I am sure I have a bigger problem.
I have looked at Moderation Management and I think it could be a great option for people like myself who are problem drinkers yet have not progressed to physical addiction. Thing is though, my current drinking pattern is within the limits imposed by Moderation Management (14 per week, no more than 4 on one occasion). Very rarely do I have a week where I exceed that.
I think my game plan right now is to make it 30 days without drinking alone, yet allow myself to drink socially. As I have mentioned before, doing this would cut out about 60% or more of my entire alcohol consumption. I don't believe my social drinking habits are anything to be concerned about. If I am unable to keep that commitment, then I am sure I have a bigger problem.
I think of all the posts on this thread so far, TabulaRasa's are the ones to which you should be listening. Even if the idea of the blank slate is one of the greatest fallacies ever concocted in the history of human thought, hah.
AA is not a results based program and is no more effective than quitting cold turkey. OP avoid AA like the plague, speak with a mental health professional if you feel you need to.
Simply not true. I have been sober for over 2 years. I tried quitting cold turkey many times only to go back to drinking after very short times.
If you work the program as it is suggested, you can stay sober. Sure, there are lots of people who have been in AA and have gone right back out and drank. Why? Because they didn't want to do the work possibly and/or they were not ready to quit drinking. They blamed AA because of their own unwillingness to quit. I have been to mental health professionals who told me to go to AA--some I listened to others I didn't. There are not too many in that profession that would not suggest AA.
And that site link was started by a person who didn't stay in AA and started an anti-AA site because it didn't work for that person. Guess what? AA has saved lives. There is no way to determine how many lives have been saved and there is no way to determine how many people have gone out. The program is anonymous. We don't do roll calls and we don't keep track of who comes to meetings. We don't even count the number of attendees. So any "statistics" are incorrect on success rates and its effectiveness.
All the negativity which you are going to read about AA on the internet or elsewhere is going to be written by alcoholics who were unable to stay sober. They are ready to blame anything or anyone else on their drinking except themselves. I went to the orange papers site early in my sobriety because I was mad I couldn't have my drinks. I was actually searching anything bad I could find on AA which would convince me that it was an ineffective program and give me an excuse(s) to drink again. Had I paid attention to what that as well as other sites had on it I would be drinking right now --if I would even be alive because I had gotten up to over 20 drinks each and every day and was drinking round the clock most of those days.
I will add that they do have some factual stories on that site about incidents which happened. They are unfortunate. Women should stick with women. There are predators who attend meetings and who are in search of taking advantage of newcomers (men and women can be predators) and their vulnerability. I am not young. However, I had quite a few men hitting on me (that's how desperate they are). So if you go, be aware that if you get inappropriate attention from someone (complimenting how "hot", "gorgeous", etc., pointing out favorable body parts, nice a**) stay as far away from them as possible. They do not care a thing about your sobriety. (And this behavior happens in bars all the time. AA is full of alcoholics btw.)
There are other stories of violence which has occurred at AA meetings and/or between two or more AA members. There are tens of thousands of AA meetings in 170 countries. You cannot have that many meetings, with that many people who are in recovery and some still active drinkers and some recovering or active drug users without something somewhere happening at one of them. Bad things happen everywhere and especially these days. I cannot even go to a fast food place or grocery shopping and be 100% guaranteed that something will not happen to me. That is life these days.
Also there really are people who can and do stay sober without AA. They either are very strong willed, are not truly an alcoholic or have a different method to stay sober. That's fine. I just don't agree that people should bash AA because it didn't work for them and get on a board like this and try to talk someone out of going to AA meetings if they think they have a problem. It has saved thousands of lives and you may be giving the OP and others an excuse to keep drinking and not save their own life.
Simply not true. I have been sober for over 2 years. I tried quitting cold turkey many times only to go back to drinking after very short times.
If you work the program as it is suggested, you can stay sober. Sure, there are lots of people who have been in AA and have gone right back out and drank. Why? Because they didn't want to do the work possibly and/or they were not ready to quit drinking. They blamed AA because of their own unwillingness to quit. I have been to mental health professionals who told me to go to AA--some I listened to others I didn't. There are not too many in that profession that would not suggest AA.
And that site link was started by a person who didn't stay in AA and started an anti-AA site because it didn't work for that person. Guess what? AA has saved lives. There is no way to determine how many lives have been saved and there is no way to determine how many people have gone out. The program is anonymous. We don't do roll calls and we don't keep track of who comes to meetings. We don't even count the number of attendees. So any "statistics" are incorrect on success rates and its effectiveness.
All the negativity which you are going to read about AA on the internet or elsewhere is going to be written by alcoholics who were unable to stay sober. They are ready to blame anything or anyone else on their drinking except themselves. I went to the orange papers site early in my sobriety because I was mad I couldn't have my drinks. I was actually searching anything bad I could find on AA which would convince me that it was an ineffective program and give me an excuse(s) to drink again. Had I paid attention to what that as well as other sites had on it I would be drinking right now --if I would even be alive because I had gotten up to over 20 drinks each and every day and was drinking round the clock most of those days.
I will add that they do have some factual stories on that site about incidents which happened. They are unfortunate. Women should stick with women. There are predators who attend meetings and who are in search of taking advantage of newcomers (men and women can be predators) and their vulnerability. I am not young. However, I had quite a few men hitting on me (that's how desperate they are). So if you go, be aware that if you get inappropriate attention from someone (complimenting how "hot", "gorgeous", etc., pointing out favorable body parts, nice a**) stay as far away from them as possible. They do not care a thing about your sobriety. (And this behavior happens in bars all the time. AA is full of alcoholics btw.)
There are other stories of violence which has occurred at AA meetings and/or between two or more AA members. There are tens of thousands of AA meetings in 170 countries. You cannot have that many meetings, with that many people who are in recovery and some still active drinkers and some recovering or active drug users without something somewhere happening at one of them. Bad things happen everywhere and especially these days. I cannot even go to a fast food place or grocery shopping and be 100% guaranteed that something will not happen to me. That is life these days.
Also there really are people who can and do stay sober without AA. They either are very strong willed, are not truly an alcoholic or have a different method to stay sober. That's fine. I just don't agree that people should bash AA because it didn't work for them and get on a board like this and try to talk someone out of going to AA meetings if they think they have a problem. It has saved thousands of lives and you may be giving the OP and others an excuse to keep drinking and not save their own life.
The Irrationality of Alcoholics Anonymous
Its faith-based 12-step program dominates treatment in the United States. But researchers have debunked central tenets of AA doctrine and found dozens of other treatments more effective. The Irrationality of Alcoholics Anonymous - The Atlantic
The pseudo-science of Alcoholics Anonymous: There’s a better way to treat addiction
AA and rehab culture have shockingly low success rates, and made it impossible to have real debate about addiction
I am glad you found sobriety. However the effectiveness of AA is not overly apparent. Mental health professionals are the people that you should be working with. That AA 'diagnoses' people is dangerous at best.
Did you come to that conclusion with some prompting...
Btw...Congrats on 26 yrs
Thank-you.
Lots of prompting, but from friends who also drank/used. They were right of course, but it was oh, so easy to dismiss them because they drank/used too. The big break-through was my sister knowing something wasn't right and literally dragging me to rehab.
I want to add my two cents on AA...I attended a couple meetings before rehab just to shut some of my friends up. I just wasn't ready to get sober, so of course the results weren't successful. BTW, rehab results
aren't that great either, UNLESS THE PATIENT IS READY.
I also attended meetings during and after rehab. They were a godsend. To anyone that is READY to get sober or is just curious, please give them a try. As others have mentioned, there isn't pressure to speak or reveal anything and you won't be judged and there are many different types of meetings. If one doesn't seem quite right, attend another.
AA isn't a cult and they don't brainwash people. Seriously, some of this nonsense talk makes AA sound like Scientology. Oh, and concerning the higher power thing and God, in rehab, we were told we could make a rock our higher power if we wanted to. Anything would do, just to get our heads out of asses.
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