An understanding of why men become obsessed with sex. (narcissistic, girlfriend, husband)
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men are the simpler and easy gender,,,we like sex and food,,, beyond that if we get steady sex,,,we live not to anger the steady sex partner..(if she is angry she with-holds sex)
women are the complicated sex,,,,like an emotional rubik's cube ... men will never solve
there's a reason men usually die first
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heart_Song
Some men withhold sex for reasons of anger. I have read countless real tearful stories of this on psychology forums fraught with women whose husbands refuse to touch them. It's pretty common, actually.
Yeah, it is more complex than some realize. That is an example of how a guy is reacting based upon emotions and don't have the individual situations or reasons to examine.
I had a boyfriend who had some issues. Though we had sex often, he did not believe me when I told him that the norm for couples averaged 3 times a week. Though we both regularly got satisfaction, he was envious it could be "multiples" for me. I would sometimes feel pressure to keep going, either during the same session or later, in the a.m., the following day, the next night... on and on. (I suppose like having the same dessert, over and over). Then he would also be pleasing himself or when at his own place, know that he used Porn or call-lines. I began wondering.
It was obsessive. I believe he had little satisfaction in his life, having been on an anti-depressant, besides. I had been very attracted to him, always liked certain traits and had fun, yet other traits can sometimes ruin it. He would not ever pick up after himself, was changeable and unpleasant, etc. He had also been abused by his father when young and was not really working through that. Though I had been supportive and accommodating, I became drained, still with his demand for physical release.. (which had nothing to do with emotional intimacy and with dissatisfaction out of the bedroom, I was turned off). I just got tired and was ready to let go, realizing he had a Sex Addiction (which is real, people) and is about something else.
It is an example of how we may become involved without having awareness of another and cannot know everything initially, anyway.. I believe that much is rooted in emotions, other than only responding to physical attraction and tactile stimulation, which can occur easily. But keeping it going with another is complicated, depending upon how emotionally balanced and open etc., each is.
It might be something that originated biologically and instinctually, but I don't think today a lot of men are motivated by the idea of reproducing (wanting to know if the woman is on the pill, for instance). It is all the other motivations in regards to becoming sexually involved, which begins between the ears, that is being addressed.
Even if he does not want to reproduce, there are biological factors that make a man want to have sex. Testosterone is one. Full seminal vesicles are another.
Men are wired differently than women, not all that mysterious.
Wether somethings end up being obvious or not, in a mans thinking, we aren't Fred Flintstone, or Tim Taylor. Most books, and zine articles like that usually end up being opinions, archetypes, and the generic. There is more than sports , and cars, and sex, really.
Kind of an obvious answer to me...men are obsessed with sex because they don't have the luxury of being disinterested in it while still being able to get laid whenever they want like women do. If men dont put forth the effort to make sex happen, who will? Plus, there is more of a biological imperative for men to not only have sex, but to orgasm as often as possible. Although technically ejaculation can happen without orgasm, for the continuation of the species, it is his sexual gratification that ultimately creates conception, not hers. And lastly, if men weren't motivated by their sex drive and pursued women, who would initiate the relationships that it takes to continue the species? Women?..it's a nice thought, but the reality is that women don'thave what it takes to consistently approach the opposite sex and get the ball rolling for procreation within the species, even post sexual revolution; the average woman still can't bring herself to do it...Some men can't even bring themselves to pursue women either, but the ddifference is that those men will die alone and childless, whereas it is altogether typical for many a woman to have never approached a man, and still wind up with kids and/or a marriage, if they want it. So I say the male sex drive is a good thing for all. Keep it up guys (get it?)
This here is one reason men think about sex a lot, or whatever the OP, and article is shooting for. I believe another reason is the conditioning of men, and women, as boys, and girls- the expectations, and stereotypes, and the like. It is rude of me to say this, and it will offend the women, but men would probably think of sex a little less, or in a different way if they could get it whenever they wanted, or from whomever- which comes off as selfish entitlement, though it seems(even though not entirely true) that women have this option. Thinking about sex really depends on how much one cares about sex, as a factor, and how much they are getting, is another. Plus, there is the sexual revolution that gives ideal of sex, some askewed thoughts, like porn, or tv show characters who get laid all the time, and I can see looking at that, and a man thinking he's more closer to Bud Bundy in the gettin some aspect.
I know I'm not very well-adjusted as a people, so I have all sorts of mental things about sex. I could speak for myself, andany things probably wouldn't sound right, yet are perfectly reasonable in my own mind, and I caught myself sounding real "off" talking to somebody on this subject once.
I think it is more of a "feminist" junk from Psychologists. Men are shown to be raised improperly and having an unhealthy obssession with sex. Therefore they could be cured by very helpful Psychologists who will prescribe very helpful medications. For which they will get very nice kickbacks from the drug companies. That will allow these helpful Psychologists to have million dollar apartments/houses and spend August abroad.
And of course that "treatment" will cure men from wanting sex and just about everything else in life...
See, I don't think meds are always the answer, and a disease isn't always a disease.
Can't be all that obsessed about it then, otherwise you'd just go do it like 95% of people do.
Wrong, my grandmother is 76 years old, she's never played a video game before, she has no desire, or effs to give about a videogame, because she doesn't care. Sex is something most non asexuals want in their life, thus an obsession with it, if it can't be had. A person born blind may not obsess over not seeing, as they never did, yet somebody who through some means, lost all eyesight, would probably obsess over seeing again, especially as their memory of what the color red is, starts to fade. Obsession over such things come from a desire to have what can't be had, or had often. I've never had sex with a midget, if I didn't care for them, I wouldn't be obsessed, but because I actually want to, I do. As such, I've never dated, or had sex with a skinny chick, but I don't care to, so it's not a big deal.
Since the subject is something often surfacing here, I thought I would post an article I found. This is interesting and thorough and feel it will allow for a better understanding, for both men and women. I know it is lengthy, but I think you may find it worthwhile. It gave me a better perspective and compassion in regards to how men develop and thought some of you may appreciate it, also.
I am posting it within relationships, but know it could be placed within Psychology.
This is the link to an article regarding why men have an obsession with sex:
Most women I have relationships with (meaning we see each other exclusively for a longer period of time) are as interested in sex as I am. And I've always been interested a lot.
Even at 64. No drugs required. Mostly I date are 10-16 years younger than me, in their prime. Obviously I must be offering them something, and I am not rich. Respect goes a long way. A true interest in THEM goes a long way. Helping out and not expecting anything goes a long way. Listening, really listening to what they are saying goes a long way. Never pressuring and never expecting goes a long way. Doing the unexpected goes a long way.
A sexual partner is easy to find.
A partner that will be involved in all aspects of your life for a long term, that is a bit harder. But sex? Truly, there is no problem finding a person that way.
Roflmao, naw I think it's just those Dos Exuis comercials you do, gramps. What works for one person may not work for the next, I dissagree- as some one who has had many sex partners, on the easy to find part. Many a time I could not get laid, and I'm well experienced, and equiped for the job. Looking online, and in real life, months at a time, nothing is more aggrovating, and depressing than forced abstinance, because no one will look at you.
In societies like some tribal societies where the men share their women there are no such thing as sexual obsession. Sexual obsession comes from a society where sex is power and women are power hungry by using their bodies as power chips. This enabled some men in the society to behave like ravenous sex predator that we call rapists. By depriving men of sex, the more men becomes obsessed with it. I think we need to get rid monogamy and marriages shouldn't have so much limitations. Both men and women are naturally curious sexually. It makes no sense in today's worlds that we limit ourselves and deprive ourselves from seeking other sexual partners. This society will be safer if relationships are open and not limited.
Ahh yes monogamy, another problem, too many people think that archaic ideal is the only way to do things. That and people catching feelings where they don't belong.
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