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It's not really a simple answer...... and in fact there are many answers. But here's what I am trying to live by.
Let's take a moment to think this through. We're all born and raised into pain.... whether it be physical, psychological, or both. We learn to recognize those pains. As we grow and choose the people that are around us we may choose those who can't get past whatever their pains are.
Essentially we are all prisoners of our minds (most don't recognize it) and we let those hypothetical prison bars define who we are and impose limits on what we can accomplish. Sometimes it feels easier not to try. It's easier to allow those thoughts to permeate our being and follow suit with the others in those circumstances than to force yourself to break away from the people who are perpetuating this pain.
For those who complain, they are doing so because they've not yet learned how to surround themselves with people who are positive and have learned that just because there IS pain, doesn't mean they have to constantly be IN pain. For those who don't complain, they've learned how to adapt to their lives and circumstances which take down the bars of their "psychological prisons" and recognize that while we all suffer from some sort of pain, that pain and the obstacles that come with it do not define us.
If you ever want to know what you're going to be like in 5 years, take a look at the people you surround yourselves with. By choosing to associate yourself with people that empower you, you are able to ignore the "pains" and focus on the positive aspects of life and break down the prison walls. Have you ever noticed that people who are always positive and happy tend to draw others in? It's because we all want to be like those people, yet we just don't know how and all too often the thought of trying to learn how to be happy is terrifying. So people go right back to what is comfortable to them. While anyone can change, it's human nature to feel this way initially.
It's not really a simple answer...... and in fact there are many answers. But here's what I am trying to live by.
If you ever want to know what you're going to be like in 5 years, take a look at the people you surround yourselves with. By choosing to associate yourself with people that empower you, you are able to ignore the "pains" and focus on the positive aspects of life and break down the prison walls. Have you ever noticed that people who are always positive and happy tend to draw others in? It's because we all want to be like those people, yet we just don't know how and all too often the thought of trying to learn how to be happy is terrifying. So people go right back to what is comfortable to them. While anyone can change, it's human nature to feel this way initially.
While I pretty much agree with surrounding yourself with happy positive people, I have to disagree with "what you're going to be like in 5 years." One of my besties is miserable now and rightfully so. Her husband has Leukemia and is not responding to his "miracle" drug. He was also wrongfully terminated from his job. Her life is a train wreck and she cries on my shoulder quite frequently. Our friendship was care free in our younger years. We've been friends since the early 90's. Life is full of twists and turns that we have no control over. I think it's the opposite about being positive and happy drawing in positive and happy people. The needy, miserable people are drawn to positive happy people because they need to be outside of their misery for awhile. My bestie is on antidepressants that haven't worked and now she's really heavy because of them.
I wouldn't be much of a friend if I turned my back on her when she needs someone positive in her life, nor would I entertain the thought. We'll weather the storm hand in hand. Maybe her life will be better in five years, maybe not. Maybe my wonderful life won't be so good in five years and I will need to be around positive happy people that will let me complain for awhile?
I know someone who is kind and giving, but who lists physical complaints constantly, and in greater detail than I would like to hear.
I don't know why. But I still love and respect this person. I try to overlook the complaints.
Sometimes I think people who complain are simply unsatisfied with many aspects of their lives, and so they are in the habit of complaining. Other times, I suspect it is just a mental habit. Sometimes I catch myself complaining too, too much. No one enjoys hearing someone else complain. I need to just stop.
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