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I am curious---> do you give other people a chance to talk? When they do, do you response accordingly? Do you listen to them? When you say you involve yourself into the "SNL" conversation, are you actually listening to their stories, or do you just take "off to the races" and take over to do a one woman conversation?
We have a woman at work that talks non stop. She is a one woman show. She doesn't have "conversations". If someone happens to get a word in, she goes right back to talking. I can keep slowing stepping away and she will continue to talk. She is nice and bubbly, but I do try to avoid her at times. She makes me sad at times because I take interest in what she is saying, but I feel my words don't really matter.
One thing I noticed in life is people who talk a lot usually never have anything useful to say. There are tricks to get these people to know you are annoyed or get them to stop, one is why they are rambling on give your self a face palm. If that face palm does not work give your self a dramatic face palm where you take the tip of your fingers and run them down your face after the slap.
If that does not work start rolling your eyes and then step it up a notch and roll your eyes where only the white is showing and hold. If these 2 methods fail it leaves you no choice but to go to the nuclear option. Look them square in the eye and ask them " don't you ever stop talking you really need to **** up every once in awhile". That one is usually a show stopper
If you are trapped in a office with a obnoxious gabber a sure way to get rid of them is give them the evil eye, ya know the one where they are approaching you and you have the look of come closer and I might kill you. This works good for me, when I give people the evil eye they stay away
I broke off a friendship because this woman couldn't shut up, ever. I don't know if people are uncomfortable with silence or they just love hearing the sound of their own voice but it is annoying as hell. You would think when people start avoiding them in droves that they would get the hint but they don't, even the ones that admit they talk too much.
It's worse when it's a coworker or even worse your boss! I had one like that. Would plop his butt down in my office and *** away causing me to stay late to finish my work.
A variant on this is someone who cannot listen. I have a couple of friends who are just horrible listeners - if I say something I get maybe 5 or 6 words out of my mouth and they interrupt and pretty much ignore what I am saying, or try to finish my sentence for me, but get it wrong. It is hard because I like these people otherwise but sometimes they act as if they really don't get a darn what I have to say (or anyone else) and their opinion is the only one that matters. BTW - it is not just me they do this to.
I know what you are talking about. For me it's like if I say a sentence these kind of people are okay with that. But if I say a paragraph they just interrupt and start talking about themselves.
He interrupts a lot and doesn't listen well, but it's possible to have a conversation with him. He can be quiet for 10 or so seconds to hear the point your going to make. Sometimes conversations can be rewarding and he is genuinely a nice guy. He's not as bad as some other peoples examples but it is puzzling to me. The need to constantly talk, I love talking too and I'm very talkative but I also enjoy silence from time to time.
One thing I noticed in life is people who talk a lot usually never have anything useful to say. There are tricks to get these people to know you are annoyed or get them to stop, one is why they are rambling on give your self a face palm. If that face palm does not work give your self a dramatic face palm where you take the tip of your fingers and run them down your face after the slap.
If that does not work start rolling your eyes and then step it up a notch and roll your eyes where only the white is showing and hold. If these 2 methods fail it leaves you no choice but to go to the nuclear option. Look them square in the eye and ask them " don't you ever stop talking you really need to **** up every once in awhile". That one is usually a show stopper
If you are trapped in a office with a obnoxious gabber a sure way to get rid of them is give them the evil eye, ya know the one where they are approaching you and you have the look of come closer and I might kill you. This works good for me, when I give people the evil eye they stay away
This is kind of funny, but also ... IDK... sad or outrageous or all of the above and more. Why is this such a common issue in our society? I haven't run into it in any other country, except in rare cases, where acquaintances or colleagues of the offender gave a forewarning, explaining that the person had recently experienced a tragic personal loss, and was not himself. The behavior was clearly understood by all to be an illness, a reaction to a personal tragedy.
My co-worker is the same way. She's in her 60s and gives our customers insulting nicknames, whines, sneers, and jeers to vent. She acts like a teenaged brat. She talks and talks and never stops. She seems to talk more than she works. I wish I could tell her to shut up.
Then tell her to shut up.
But seriously, do tell her in the nicest way you can, that she does talk too much. She may not be aware of it, or she may think people find her comments funny or interesting.
She needs to know she irritates people. It may hurt her feelings at first, but in the long run, she'll have more people that enjoy her company.
I am curious---> do you give other people a chance to talk? When they do, do you response accordingly? Do you listen to them? When you say you involve yourself into the "SNL" conversation, are you actually listening to their stories, or do you just take "off to the races" and take over to do a one woman conversation?
We have a woman at work that talks non stop. She is a one woman show. She doesn't have "conversations". If someone happens to get a word in, she goes right back to talking. I can keep slowing stepping away and she will continue to talk. She is nice and bubbly, but I do try to avoid her at times. She makes me sad at times because I take interest in what she is saying, but I feel my words don't really matter.
Listening better is something I'm always working on. I tend to interrupt a lot, and I hate that I do it but it is not easy to stop, habits are hard. That is the ADHD part. I think I'm afraid I'll forget what I'm going to say if I don't get it out right then (which does happen a lot lol). It's not always though, and I am actually a good person to come to with a problem. I try to catch myself when I'm doing it and then make myself slow down, and yes, I am interested in other people's stories, in fact I kind of interview people sometimes if they have an interesting story. I am very good at making people feel comfortable with me immediately, which is a benefit both socially and at work.
But a lot depends on my state at the time, so to speak. Sometimes I'm relaxed and other times I can't sit still and especially in situations like work where I have to stay there, I feel like a caged tiger and the energy just has to come out somewhere. I actually feel like I'm on speed at times. That's when I'm "off to the races", or also if I'm very excited about something, which is kind of often as well lol. Everyone who knows me knows I'm the poster child for ADHD, so they know it's just me. They tease me but I always make fun of myself first. I feel bad about interrupting and apologize to people as soon as I catch myself, but I know it's something I'll always be working on and it's going to happen at times.
I tried Strattera, the only non-stimulant ADD medicine, but it didn't help and was very expensive. I don't think stimulants are a good idea for me as I have a very addictive personality (most ADD people do, we unconsciously try to self-medicate to regulate our state of being) and when young (late teens, early 20's) I liked speed-type drugs a little too much to chance trying them now. Aside from that, I work in health care and can't imagine long term use of stimulants can be very good for your heart. So I do the best I can.
I work with this guy and he never stops talking. He can't go more than 5 seconds without talking, literally. When there is nothing to talk about he will create drama or outrage over something that doesn't matter, it just never stops. We have caught him talking to himself on numerous occasions. Someone else I work with who lives in his apartment complex told me he hangs out front of the apartment complex and talks to anyone that walks by and talks to himself when no ones around. He told us his brother who he shared a room with growing up would always get mad at him for talking in his sleep too.
What gives?
What gives is that you don't know how to IGNORE him. His desperate NEED for attention and/or ego comfort triggers your own sensitive issues so you get into a bad attitude when he TALKS so much. You are the victim of your own unresolved issues which shows up as unhappiness with his rattlings. Fix your own self esteem/respect and what others do will no longer BOTHER you.
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they just interrupt and start talking about themselves.
