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I tried Strattera, the only non-stimulant ADD medicine, but it didn't help and was very expensive. I don't think stimulants are a good idea for me as I have a very addictive personality (most ADD people do, we unconsciously try to self-medicate to regulate our state of being) and when young (late teens, early 20's) I liked speed-type drugs a little too much to chance trying them now. Aside from that, I work in health care and can't imagine long term use of stimulants can be very good for your heart. So I do the best I can.
Ritalin doesn't work like street drugs; it does work for true ADD people, but I don't blame you for wanting to avoid it.
Try yoga. Then, I'd also get a full panel thyroid and evaluation by an EXPERT In diagnosing difficult thyroid conditions, preferably in women.
Ritalin doesn't work like street drugs; it does work for true ADD people, but I don't blame you for wanting to avoid it.
Try yoga. Then, I'd also get a full panel thyroid and evaluation by an EXPERT In diagnosing difficult thyroid conditions, preferably in women.
Thanks
I have a suspiscion a lot is genes. My brother/mother aren't ADD but both OCD and my mom especially is a highly anxious person. I think sometimes when I say "nervous energy" it might be anxiety as well, and for some reason talking to fill the silence some kind of self-soothing or coping mechanism. I am by nature too though the bubbly energy type, so who knows how to separate what's what, lol. But anxiety is just as hard to treat though, and my fears about speed would also extend to Xanax, so that's out.
Many humans just can't not talk let alone just sit still. Silence is golden and so calming. Yes, I'm sure people have ADD or ADHD or whatever, but I think a lot of people just can't "be" !
My sister in law was a talker. As much as I enjoy her as family member, it wasn't til recently she was admitted for care. they diagnosed her bi polar....she had alot of Manic going on. thus thoughts rushing.
she is medicated now....very low key. Now her words are well thought out. She doesn't talk near as much.
Just as talking is a way to dominant attention, Silence can be equally used.
I recall my therapist asking if I ever sat in silence and didn't need to fill the space? Turns out I quite like silence in groups. Its rather funny to watch people get uneasy...as if silence is a bad thing....Its not
We have a woman at work that talks non stop. She is a one woman show. She doesn't have "conversations". If someone happens to get a word in, she goes right back to talking. I can keep slowing stepping away and she will continue to talk. She is nice and bubbly, but I do try to avoid her at times. She makes me sad at times because I take interest in what she is saying, but I feel my words don't really matter.
For me, it's truly exhausting to be around those types of people. I prefer those who are comfortable with moments of silence.
Listening better is something I'm always working on. I tend to interrupt a lot, and I hate that I do it but it is not easy to stop, habits are hard. That is the ADHD part. I think I'm afraid I'll forget what I'm going to say if I don't get it out right then (which does happen a lot lol). It's not always though, and I am actually a good person to come to with a problem. I try to catch myself when I'm doing it and then make myself slow down, and yes, I am interested in other people's stories, in fact I kind of interview people sometimes if they have an interesting story. I am very good at making people feel comfortable with me immediately, which is a benefit both socially and at work.
But a lot depends on my state at the time, so to speak. Sometimes I'm relaxed and other times I can't sit still and especially in situations like work where I have to stay there, I feel like a caged tiger and the energy just has to come out somewhere. I actually feel like I'm on speed at times. That's when I'm "off to the races", or also if I'm very excited about something, which is kind of often as well lol. Everyone who knows me knows I'm the poster child for ADHD, so they know it's just me. They tease me but I always make fun of myself first. I feel bad about interrupting and apologize to people as soon as I catch myself, but I know it's something I'll always be working on and it's going to happen at times.
I tried Strattera, the only non-stimulant ADD medicine, but it didn't help and was very expensive. I don't think stimulants are a good idea for me as I have a very addictive personality (most ADD people do, we unconsciously try to self-medicate to regulate our state of being) and when young (late teens, early 20's) I liked speed-type drugs a little too much to chance trying them now. Aside from that, I work in health care and can't imagine long term use of stimulants can be very good for your heart. So I do the best I can.
to be a good communicator you NEED to be a good listener...... you said this in so many words
listening skills aren't taught very well,,,,,because it just seems so simple.....but it isn't.
quick thinkers.....will summarize/project what someone will tell them before they are even done a sentence..particularly with slow talkers....we can hear/process 4-8 times faster than talking.
I never realized this fully til I went to a high performance management class and the first thing the facilitator talk about was listening skills
quick thinkers and class A personalities are very very very impatient .... with everybody and most have a very bad habit of mind thinking- they jump ahead of the talker before they are done because they simply know better or think they are smarter .....
or
they are derailers..... while listening,,,,they conclude the point of the talker and derail them even tho they aren't finished yet
or
jumpers
they hyperly jump on what the talker says when they aren't even done yet..
or
get a dismissive and annoying yeah yeah yeah response half way thru the talker making a point...
in my experience ... the talkers need constant approval,,,have very little confidence...seeks others to validate themselves and motives...... (see what happens when you coddle your kids too much,,little real life coping skills)
ive told many "talkers" "if only your hands could move as fast as your mouth,,,,,,,you wouldn't have to talk so much"...
" take a breathe,,,,you are spitting all over me"
" lay off the coffee, you haven't stopped talking all morning"
" you remind me of a chipmunk at the bird-feeder..... all nervous noise"
" we will all chip in and get you a ****! license plate... look it up, if you don't know what it is"
"you learn more by listening,, you should try it someday"
young girls and effeminate men (workplace drama queens) seem to be the biggest offenders
A relative is like this. If you sit next to her at the table on a holiday, she will talk and talk and talk and talk until you are ready to scream. She is a very nice person, but I now try to avoid her. I can't stand that incessant talking. She has always been like this. I think some people are genuinely disturbed by silence.
People with this disorder (and I've come to recognize it as a disorder in some people, but not all, of course) do often have one common condition - anxiety. Upthread someone mentioned the fact that talking tends to "soothe" the anxious, verbose person; I could not agree more, and I have often wondered if anxiety was at the root of my mother's excessive talking. Her talking, however, crossed the line from "nervous chatter" to what mental-health professionals might consider downright pathological. Here are two examples of my mother's oblivious state of mind when she talked.
One day she and an acquaintance, Jane, were on the telephone. My mother was talking - evidently to a point at which Jane could not bear it any longer; hence, Jane lay the phone receiver down on the telephone table and cleaned her kitchen counters, mopped the floor, and did a few dishes. When she returned to the phone my mother was still talking, clearly unaware that Jane had taken a "little" break. When my mother later learned about this incident (through Jane herself), she was shocked and offended. Another example of the lack of awareness that frequently accompanies this disorder.
Another incident took place when my parents were driving home from a wedding one winter night. A light, freezing, rain had started. My father, a quiet, but patient, man listened as my mother talked as they traveled. When the highway lights revealed a shiny patch on the roadway just ahead, it was too late: the car spun wildly - three times at least - on the slick black ice before my father was able to regain control. Ashen and trembling, my father turned to face my mother, who was still talking. Pausing for a second, she asked my father why he was so pale. She had been oblivious to the whole thing.
I work with this guy and he never stops talking. He can't go more than 5 seconds without talking, literally. When there is nothing to talk about he will create drama or outrage over something that doesn't matter, it just never stops. We have caught him talking to himself on numerous occasions. Someone else I work with who lives in his apartment complex told me he hangs out front of the apartment complex and talks to anyone that walks by and talks to himself when no ones around. He told us his brother who he shared a room with growing up would always get mad at him for talking in his sleep too.
What gives?
In my day, they were called loudmouthed boors.
You can run into them on teh innerwebz, too.
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