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At a recent family dinner some gay bashing took place (which had never happened before). I suspect they did it to see if I would get upset and out myself as gay.
No one outside my family thinks I'm gay because they have all seen me with girls. I don't tell family about girls I date because they ask too many questions. Also, my relationships are always short term so it leads to more questions when I stop seeing a girl. If she leaves, then I did something offensive. If I leave, I'm a jerk. Who needs that nonsense? So when they ask me I just say I'm not dating anyone. Even if I am.
The fact that you think people asking about why you're single is actually them being "interested in your sex life" says a whole lot about your sensitivities in this area.
Society pressures people to couple up, commit, settle down and gave kids. Anytime someone deviates from that norm.. people freak. Obviously people don't freak as much as in the past, but there is still some discomfort with the idea that someone wants to stay single.
As a single guy in my early 30's I've noticed the increasing pressure and questions about my choice to stay single. What I don't understand is why anyone cares. If you are happy following the traditional cookie-cutter lifestyle you were told to follow.. what does that have to do with me?
I haven't decided yet if I will ever get married or have kids, but I find the idea less appealing the older I get. So I might possibly stay single for life or at least for the foreseeable future. I would rather just date people and have fun lighthearted relationships with no agenda.
Well you got me. Your thread is titled about the "sex lives" of other people, so I thought it would be about how people are nosy and want to know what other people do in bed and then try to make laws governing that. Instead it is a thread about pressure to marry and have children. These are not the same thing.
However I will say that there is no "we" in this anyway. In either case I think it is largely people who are unfulfilled in their own lives, or at least very bored, who make inquiries and put pressure. Usually this comes from friends or family and sometimes they think they mean well but it is almost never people who are happy or busy in their own lives who put pressure on others to be like them. I see it as "misery loves company."
Well you got me. Your thread is titled about the "sex lives" of other people, so I thought it would be about how people are nosy and want to know what other people do in bed and then try to make laws governing that. Instead it is a thread about pressure to marry and have children. These are not the same thing.
However I will say that there is no "we" in this anyway. In either case I think it is largely people who are unfulfilled in their own lives, or at least very bored, who make inquiries and put pressure. Usually this comes from friends or family and sometimes they think they mean well but it is almost never people who are happy or busy in their own lives who put pressure on others to be like them. I see it as "misery loves company."
Yes. I would agree that people generally care less about what others are going when they're own lives are on track and/or very busy.
I don't think the thread title is misleading. Dating and kids are related to your sex life.
At a recent family dinner some gay bashing took place (which had never happened before). I suspect they did it to see if I would get upset and out myself as gay.
No one outside my family thinks I'm gay because they have all seen me with girls. I don't tell family about girls I date because they ask too many questions. Also, my relationships are always short term so it leads to more questions when I stop seeing a girl. If she leaves, then I did something offensive. If I leave, I'm a jerk. Who needs that nonsense? So when they ask me I just say I'm not dating anyone. Even if I am.
Lots of gay/lesbian people *date* the opposite gender in front of their family.....
Yes. I would agree that people generally care less about what others are going when they're own lives are on track and/or very busy.
I don't think the thread title is misleading. Dating and kids are related to your sex life.
I would not make that assumption. People are asking you about your relationships, not who you are sleeping with, right?
Anyway I can not blame you for keeping your lovelife (how is that for a good compromise on a word?) from your family if they ask nosy questions and pass judgment on you. My family never did that but for us it is that you do not bring people around unless you are very serious and planning to live with one another or marry.
Fortunately I am old enough that it is rare anybody asks. But when I was younger? Oh, at weddings it was terrible. I will never forget the older brother of a friend who got married. It was very embarrassing how he went on about "No? You aren't dating ANYbody? NObody at ALL? Why not? Is there really NO ONE at ALL?" Finally my friend told him "Will you shut up and go get us some beer?"
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