Narcissist being self aware

[senmurv]

Originally Posted by MissMischief

Since I was a teen, I wondered if my mother was evil or crazy. A few years ago, I happened on a website about daughters of narcissistic mothers, and after much reading recognized that she was a malignant narcissist, and I was her scapegoat. I cut off the relationship a few years prior to that enlightenment for my own survival, because she was capable of doing and saying anything to make the world believe that I was the cause of all her problems, and her enjoyment in humiliating me increased over the years.

I was well into middle age before I escaped, so I have decades of knowing her better than anyone else. She could be her evil self with me in a way she couldn’t with anyone else, because she had a mask to maintain for the rest of the world, and I don’t think it ever occurred to her that I could do anything other than what she wanted me to do. I realized very young that I am not even a real person to her.

Based on my knowledge of her, I think that NPD is a personality type, not a mental disease. I never, ever saw any hint that she had low self-esteem. She genuinely believes that she is superior to other people, and she is filled with contempt for everyone else. She takes enormous pride in successfully getting people to do what she wants. She stole my identity and I did nothing – that’s how passive I was. Based on hints she’s dropped I’m pretty sure she has stolen from employers. It would never occur to her that she has done wrong by me or anyone else, because what’s good for her is the only good that counts.

I view her as a venomous creature that is best avoided by any prudent person – like a rattlesnake. I don’t know what made her this way, because as far as I know she had a very nice childhood. She is what she is.

You are definitely me.

I also agree that narcissism is a dysfunctional personality type and not a mental illness.

[jencam]

Originally Posted by senmurv

You are definitely me.

I also agree that narcissism is a dysfunctional personality type and not a mental illness.

Right. It's a personality disorder. Although meds can help. My brother is much more pleasant when he takes pain meds that are also used for mood stabilizers.

[hopefulone]

Originally Posted by jencam

I think most of the techniques can be harmful to us. Too much adapting in any way to a dis-ordered person or environment creates dysfunction in ourselves.

Agreed. When my health and emotions started suffering around this person I knew it was time to change and get out.

[hopefulone]

Originally Posted by senmurv

Are you me?

Seriously though, I believe narcissists are aware of what they are, they just don't care. And they never change.