Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It's not necessarily a preference - especially for older people.
No, it isn't . It can be a default, something born of isolating circumstance, and it can be due to developmental issues. But it may also be behavioral choice.
The op as I read it was about those who actively avoid socialization, not, say ,those who have defaulted to isolation through things like mobility and access issues.
I guess I'm a "hermit." Fine. Must be some good in it. When out in stores, etc., I tend to be more outgoing and courteous to those around me then the "social butterflies" all wrapped up in their little social circle, blocking doorways, bumping into people like they're not there.
I'll admit though - I hate small talk. I'm not a salesman; I don't need that skill, rarely participated in it.
I don't care for small talk, either. It's so, well, SMALL. Rather have a few people around, if any, to have real conversations...despise cocktail parties.
A friend of mine left home when he was 10 years old because his father stabbed him with a fork. He secretly lived with an aunt until he was old enough to join the military. That didn't work out and he ended up living on the streets and eventually wound up in British Columbia. He said he lived up there in the wilds for about 6 months and only saw a couple other people during that time. It cleaned out his head. He decided to take a high school equivalency test there, applied to a small college in Va and got in. Graduated, entered a Ph. D. program in soil science at U. IL Urbana, got up to his oral and decided to switch over to bio-tech patent law and ended up getting a J.D. degree. He recently retired as a very successful biotech patent attorney based in D.C.
So, is it normal? Perhaps not. Is it a bad thing? Not necessarily; for him, it was just what he needed.
For myself, I am not a sociable person. I dislike crowds and especially cities and I prefer a nice quiet day at home to pretty much anything else. Activities I enjoy are similarly those done alone, photography, marksmanship. Right now for example, my wife is out shopping with a friend. I'm browsing the web with a kitty at home. Nice and quiet. The fellow I mentioned is my only "friend" but I haven't seen him in over a decade and we seldom communicate.
Some need stimulation and feedback from others, some do not.
Of course being an inmate is a totally different situation....no comparison.
Yep. This has been discussed so often and still people don't get it. Loner does not always equal lonely. There are lots of legitimate reasons why someone chooses not to be in the company of others. The definition of "hermit" is pretty individual too.
The difference is that a hermit has made a choice. If an inmate is a generally social person and you put them into isolation, it's like putting a hermit in the middle of Times Square.
Also, there are few totally isolated hermits. Most have access to positive interaction/activities. They can get online, they can watch tv/listen to music, read, do crafts, exercise. Even if they don't do any of that and are truly isolated by choice, it's unlikely to be in a tiny box with no comfort and the only human contact is with guards who aren't nice.
Whether being a hermit is abnormal depends on the person and their reasons.
I agree totally, there are choices in a hermit's lifestyle. Isolation usually is not a choice, I wouldn't be able to handle isolation, but a semi-hermit wouldn't bother me, people are a lot of work.
I agree totally, there are choices in a hermit's lifestyle. Isolation usually is not a choice, I wouldn't be able to handle isolation, but a semi-hermit wouldn't bother me, people are a lot of work.
Agreed people can be a lot of work and I also like a break once in awhile.
I remember one time I had to go into town to do some shopping. After 2 stores I called my husband and told him "I'm on my way home. I'm not fit to be around people today" I might have called them idiots
There are times when my husband doesn't leave out property for 10 days or so and he likes to socialize. Then again he has me to talk to all day.
Who on earth wants to be normal? That's a setting on a washing machine and those are only any fun if you sit on them .
I am not exactly a hermit. I can go outside and play nice with the other humans if I have to, but sometimes weeks can elapse without my talking to anyone much at all. This means I have time to think, read, write, study and watch movies. The solitude, which is rarely silent because I always have music on, gives me the space I need and I couldn't function without it.
To some people that would be hell on earth. To me it's essential for any sort of worthwhile life. The noise and nonsense of having other people around me 24/7, especially if I were expected to love, feed, clothe or educate them, would drive me mad.
There is no normal or abnormal. There's only what's normal for you.
I'm a certified introvert. When I have to go out shopping, or wherever I'm friendly, and polite, but so glad to get back home so I can relax, and be myself. People wear me out, too many betrayals. At this time I'm staying with my daughter, and grand daughter after my marriage breakup till a senior apt opens up, or I make up my weak mind where to live.
They are gregarious, and can't understand how I can spend so much time holed up in my room. But when most all of what I say to them is misconstrued, and discounted it only serves to make me withdraw more. I want to be included in her family, but am ostracized instead. So off to my "cell" I go where I won't annoy anyone. So looking forward to my own little place.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I might have called them idiots
.
