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I care... about this guy's kids. He has reported that they are disgusted that he is buying cars and giving cash to a woman younger than they are--even moving her into his home after only knowing her for a few weeks. Knowing that she lies to him daily about going to school and getting a job.
That has got to be rough on them, watching dad's self-respect and common sense circle the drain because he can't control his sexual urges. Yuck.
Yeah, I guess a few people here are not familiar with the OP's recent post.
So a lot of the "outrage" there and here is being misconstrued as jealousy. Op, himself has declared he feels like his young gf is taking advantage of him. So this new post really doesn't make any sense and is just his attempt to deflect from his own issues. People in that thread weren't railing on him because he's with a younger woman, but because he comes off as neglectful of his children because of this relationship.
It's like that sometimes when somebody comments on a thread that had its last post 50 years ago. Totally different time.
Back then women were jealous of teachers because they had to stay home and cook and change diapers and didn't have jobs of their own, and didn't want to lose their Leering Fab jaw-hitting-the-floor Hubs.
*shrug* I basically don't care about the love lives of others, by and large. The only time I'm going to think much on it is if:
1.) One of the partners keeps complaining about the relationship where I can hear.
2.) If I see signs of potential abuse on either side.
3.) If one of the partners is suspected to be underage.
I have a male friend who regularly dates women who are much younger, and he fell into category 1, where he'd complain regularly about how said girlfriends were 'immature'. Now, bear in mind he and I were 40, and most of these women he was dating fell into the 19 to 21 years old range. And I'd met these girls. I thought they were very nice, very sweet, and the only thing 'wrong' with their maturity level was simply their concerns were more appropriate to what 19 to 21 year old women usually think about. And they had not yet had the life experiences that either he or I had by the age of 40. Most of them were college students, and still living with their parents. They'd yet to vote in a presidential election (save one, since her 18th birthday had hit right before one had come up). They didn't have to worry about balancing a budget for rent, food, utilities. If their jobs were crappy and they quit, they had a safety net in the form of their parents--they weren't risking losing their home, car, whatever else if they did a 'take this job and shove it'. In short....as far as I could see, these women were only guilty of not having 40-year-old souls in 20-year-old bodies. After hearing him complain about the fourth girlfriend who fell into this age category, I told him he needed to start looking at women in our age group, and maybe that would solve the 'immaturity' problem he kept running into. After a polite disagreement on the subject, I told him that I no longer wanted to hear about how the 19 to 21 year olds were immature. He has kept quiet on the subject ever since.
The only other 'older man/younger woman' situation that I sort of go askance at right now is the result of two friends of mine who are my age and were married. They divorced, and the now ex-husband immediately started dating a woman half his ex-wife's age (and apparently they knew each other prior to the divorce.) I admit that I'm inclined to disapprove and dislike this relationship, but I probably would have disapproved and disliked it even if the new girlfriend were in our age group, just simply because the ex-wife and I are good friends, and I know that she's hurting and feels 'replaceable' over this. I dunno. Maybe if they hadn't known each other previously, or hadn't started dating as soon as his divorce was final, I'd feel differently.
Yeah, I guess a few people here are not familiar with the OP's recent post.
So a lot of the "outrage" there and here is being misconstrued as jealousy. Op, himself has declared he feels like his young gf is taking advantage of him. So this new post really doesn't make any sense and is just his attempt to deflect from his own issues. People in that thread weren't railing on him because he's with a younger woman, but because he comes off as neglectful of his other children because of this relationship.
So for anyone who's confused, refer to post 30.
Yeah, I think he WISHES they were jealous, when it sounds like people are reacting in a very typical way to a situation where it looks like a man is foolishly trying to impress a young woman by buying stuff for her.
Exactly. Also, if anything, people with age gaps (especially when it comes to older woman/younger man) one would be very cautious about how the relationship is. In my case, when I first met my young man we talked for a long time and I even rejected him the first two times when he asked me out on a date, not because I thought he was immature or anything bad, just mostly because of my insecurity about it. But he was very nice about it and finally I agreed to go on a date with him and the rest is history.
Then I had my accident leaving me permanently disabled shortly after we got married, with him having to help me with bathing, dressing, female issues....the list goes on. Add to that I lost my job and he became the breadwinner. Though thankfully in my working career I did save a lot and some other assets so that helped. But he has been still with me being loving, caring and affectionate ever since. Forget that he's a younger man, I'd bet most men of any age would quickly bail dealing with everything my husband does.
As did we. We sat down and discussed what each was or wasn't looking for and once we felt like we were on the same page.. we moved forward. It took a few months, as he was a bit apprehensive in the beginning.
Our relationship is FWB rather than committed. I wasn't looking for Mr Right and he'd been there and has the t-shirt. Neither have ever been under the illusion that we will walk into the sunset together and live happily ever after. It will last for as long as it lasts. When one or the other decides they want out.. they can opt out.
As you know from my topic I am dating a younger woman, and got a lot of negative reactions, I have also gotten some in real life, though I have noticed a pattern with it being women around my age group; 40 and up mostly. I can only guess it's the same for on here. Does it really bother you? Surely there are plenty men in your age group so why the negativity?
Nope. I date younger men, so it doesn't bother me a bit.
Well duh! At least I actually have a dog in the fight. How silly of me to post in threads that have to do with a subject that I have actual experience with... and actually engaged in. I never alluded to what you said about these women acting or looking older than their years... I asked what you meant when you said... "what does that say about them". ( which you conveniently ignored).
Perhaps you can show me where I said you were wrong? I merely asked you a couple of
Questions.
I have a dog in the fight, too. I preferred older men when I was younger. Dated a man 18 years my senior for a couple of years and married a man 12 years my senior (though 12 years isn't that big of a deal, depending on the people involved). Dated a couple of other guys about 10 years older in the interim.
I understand why young women can be attracted to older men. But speaking from experience (in other words, everything I'm going to say I apply to myself and should not be construed as criticism), it now takes both men and women a lot longer to grow up, but it takes men longer. Many young women have their acts together better than do lots of guys roughly the same age. It's not surprising that 20-something can find somewhat older guys more appealing.
But I think they can be idealistic, and they romanticize the older guy. I think they'll tolerate or overlook things that an older woman wouldn't. That's not to say the younger women are pushovers or don't have standards -- I certainly wasn't and definitely did -- but they're caught up in the image of him and herself in that relationship: she's the cherished, irresistible younger woman, and he's the worldly, sophisticated, uber-masculine older man. In most cases, that isn't the reality.
If he's much older, they're at different stages of life (ditto for most cases of a man with a much older woman). And she eventually figures that out. She outgrows him. Which makes perfect sense if she's energetic, youthful, and looks at the world a different way.
As a 51-year-old woman, I don't at all feel compatible with a man of 81 (I might be going to hang out with him at the assisted living facility if I did). I wouldn't feel compatible with most men in their 70s (though I still carry a major torch for Robert DeNiro ). I don't feel compatible with, or attracted to, most men well into their 60s. But if I did feel that I clicked with a man 20+ years older than I, it's likely than I'm older, mentally and physically, than my chronological 51 years. I don't know why that's such a crazy thing to say; it's pretty logical.
When I was in the first grade (1950's) I had a 25 year old female teacher with legs and looks, new to the school. I'm not exactly sure when it started, but my now, 43 year old G4P4 mother, was not amused
.
Wait ... the bolded.
Did you actually just invoke Gravida/Para?
Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinbrookNine
Why? Lots was going on then. She had just been told by the doctor "no more children for you" and her best friend two doors down had just got pregnant; dad had went to "night school" a couple years previously but strangely had nothing to show for it...and now, she was over 40!...well, you get the point.
You did! That's hysterical!
I'm not even saying your wrong ... biologically & psychologically; you could be right ... but it's funny ...
Before I saw that I was just going to add my boring 2 cents worth saying that:
Yes; it's probably jealousy but since the OP posed the question to women personally; that No. I'm not jealous. The guys that show interest in me are too young for me to be interested in them; I usually am attracted to older men.
Seriously; my oldest child is 32. If a guy is anywhere within an age range where he could have been on the school playground with my son? Then eww, no, gross.
My current is 12 years older than I, my former was 16 years older & I have experienced negativity from older women . I even had a friend who was only 6 years older than I make snide comments about "A good man like that should have a woman old enough to appreciate him" when I complained about my current acting in a way that I really ... did not ... appreciate.
Unattractive or mentally ill..... because they're young? Or because they find older men attractive?
You know better! My waaaaaay too repeated comment was intended towards youth and ageism. I've seen you and chatted with you, so I think you have more sense than that, you are attractive and seemingly mentally stable. Ask HC.
Intent:
If youth is the ONLY thing one has going for them, they're no prize, what moron is jealous of that? And the man in question, is he universally sought-after just because he's older? Too many stereotypes here.
Again, and imo.
G1P1
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). I don't feel compatible with, or attracted to, most men well into their 60s. But if I did feel that I clicked with a man 20+ years older than I, it's likely than I'm older, mentally and physically, than my chronological 51 years. I don't know why that's such a crazy thing to say; it's pretty logical.
