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I want to finally get a strong backbone, because I am so tired of the stress, and tired of things getting ruined for me by bullies.
I don't know what I should do about Wacko. I think I will give it another chance, and try not to do any of the things that make him angry (like saying ANYTHING even SLIGHTLY critical of Trump. Jeez. And I am a Trump sympathizer).
If he finds things to get angry about anyway, I will have to give up on starting a band with him. I'll just try to find someone else. I am scared of angry people. I think everyone is, actually. We don't know for sure if they could become violent.
If you are scared of him, don't associate with him. He blew you off when you tried to tactfully tell him that his anger was scary. Giving him another chance, huh? How many second chances have you given to people in your life? How has that been working for you so far?
I recommend finding a counselor and doing the work on yourself to find out why you are bullied, and why you put up with it. We can't give you good answers here. We don't know you and we aren't therapists. If you want to understand yourself you will have to do the hard, reflective work to do so. Start with a counselor.
I think you are unconsciously looking for people like that. You have to recognized them for what they are. You have to learn how to recognize them and to break the pattern. I strongly advice you to talk to a good therapist. The relationship with your musician friend is the same. It is because this is the only thing you know and therefore you allow it to go on. But ultimately it is up to you to stop it and to look for calm people, but I think you can;t do it alone.
Wacko and I are the songwriters and the singers, in addition to playing instruments. Kyle is just an instrumentalist. So working with Wacko is great for me, except that he's crazy. Kyle is very good at his instrument, but I need Wacko to sing with.
But you're somewhat comfortable with Wacko being crazy. I guess because being mistreated is normal to you, right? You know...every time you don't call Wacko on his 'wackiness', you are reinforcing to him and to yourself that you're getting the treatment you deserve.
I think you are unconsciously looking for people like that. You have to recognized them for what they are. You have to learn how to recognize them and to break the pattern. I strongly advice you to talk to a good therapist. The relationship with your musician friend is the same. It is because this is the only thing you know and therefore you allow it to go on. But ultimately it is up to you to stop it and to look for calm people, but I think you can;t do it alone.
No, this is not the only thing I know. Most of my friends are, and have been, nice.
Wacko is not my boyfriend, there is no attraction, and he is married anyway. I don't know if he treats his wife this way or not.
As soon as Wacko and I met we seemed to get along, especially regarding what kind of music we like. But very soon he started getting unreasonably angry at me.
But you're somewhat comfortable with Wacko being crazy. I guess because being mistreated is normal to you, right? You know...every time you don't call Wacko on his 'wackiness', you are reinforcing to him and to yourself that you're getting the treatment you deserve.
Are you physically afraid of him?
I really don't know. I tend to be paranoid, at the same time as being overly trusting. I tend to be scared of people, even when I should not be.
He has guns in his house, he says, in case anyone breaks in. But he also said he never learned how to shoot them. That sounds crazy, but he also owns cars that he never drives. Just loves owning a lot of things, I guess.
Knowing there are guns somewhere does make me a little nervous about going to his house. But then, I am probably being crazy for thinking he might shoot me.
If you are scared of him, don't associate with him. He blew you off when you tried to tactfully tell him that his anger was scary. Giving him another chance, huh? How many second chances have you given to people in your life? How has that been working for you so far?
I recommend finding a counselor and doing the work on yourself to find out why you are bullied, and why you put up with it. We can't give you good answers here. We don't know you and we aren't therapists. If you want to understand yourself you will have to do the hard, reflective work to do so. Start with a counselor.
Completely agree with this post. The thing that sticks out to me is that the OPs parents divorced 50 years ago and it's still being brought up. That should have been dealt with decades ago.
Completely agree with this post. The thing that sticks out to me is that the OPs parents divorced 50 years ago and it's still being brought up. That should have been dealt with decades ago.
No, this is not the only thing I know. Most of my friends are, and have been, nice.
Wacko is not my boyfriend, there is no attraction, and he is married anyway. I don't know if he treats his wife this way or not.
As soon as Wacko and I met we seemed to get along, especially regarding what kind of music we like. But very soon he started getting unreasonably angry at me.
Yes, he treats his wife the same way and any other person if he can get away with it.
I really don't know. I tend to be paranoid, at the same time as being overly trusting. I tend to be scared of people, even when I should not be.
He has guns in his house, he says, in case anyone breaks in. But he also said he never learned how to shoot them. That sounds crazy, but he also owns cars that he never drives. Just loves owning a lot of things, I guess.
Knowing there are guns somewhere does make me a little nervous about going to his house. But then, I am probably being crazy for thinking he might shoot me.
Make you a little NERVOUS!
Dang girl....git up on your hind legs and RUN!
And yes he will shoot you given his rage, guns, and you putting up with it.
He telling you he does not know how to shoot them and you BELEIVE him!
He's got the guns, the ammo, the rage, what else you want woman. No one collects guns unless they enjoy firing them. Guns 101.
Lord Help Me with this woman that does not know a crazy assho when it is even in her face.
Why in the hell is he called wacko. He is wacko.
Get out. Now.
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