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Yes. Abused horribly at home and in school. I never felt safe anywhere unless I was with my Father.
The end result is that I am dead inside and prefer to be alone.
Try 40 years. I seriously still hate my abusers, but...
They CANNOT ruin your whole life.
Okay, maybe 1/8 of it. There's a whole lot left. But were they there to ruin the MAJOR accomplishments in your life?
Quote:
Originally Posted by shanv3
Your mental and physical habits are formed during childhood . Habits can make or break you from being an ordinary man vs an achiever.
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Originally Posted by LGR_NYR
Yes. Abused horribly at home and in school. I never felt safe anywhere unless I was with my Father. The end result is that I am dead inside and prefer to be alone.
yes, the whole rest of your life WILL be affected and most likely severely and not in a good way. Even though bullying made some people overachievers and very successful to prove others wrong - but you do not know how they feel inside. They may not be able to be happy.
The real reason we were bullied was the parents of the bullies.
In my own case while I was occasionally picked on by some loud mouthed, wise guy in class I didn't see that as any kind of life altering bullying that I couldn't handle. The real bullying came from my parents and teachers. All I could do was bide my time, try to keep them off my back, and make it to adulthood.
On page 1 of this thread someone wrote in response to question #3)
3. Now I’m very distrustful of most people and closed off emotionally for the most part.
That's been how I have negotiated life. Trying to be honest, fair, accommodating, trusting, and understanding in the real world didn't pay as a child and it hasn't paid since then, and since I cannot become what I have beheld, I deal with it as efficaciously as I have been able to.
I was bullied by a kid in middle school. He'd steal the good portions of my lunch everyday and threaten to beat me up. He was bigger than me by quite a bit. From what I gathered, he had a rough home life so he took it out on people at school. If I could go back today I'd pop him once in the face as hard as I could.
I was bullied by almost everyone during my school years, including by some of the less classy school staff, and it has left me deeply suspicious of people and ready to cut them loose at the first sign of trouble. I question why you are asking why we got bullied; the only person responsible for bullying is the bully. I got elected because I was the easiest one to pick on, never did anything to defend myself and was never given any help, advice, or encouragement beyond the usual, useless "ignore it and it will go away." That's not why it started but that's why it continued.
I always instill in my daughters to treat others the way you would like to be treated. Sit with the kid that is alone in the cafeteria or the new kid in school. Report bullying right away. Your good character is what someone remembers.
My kids have been exposed to all kinds of people being Army brats and I'm thankful for that. They are around veterans and kids with disabilities, Muslims, immigrants, women, everyone. It teaches them to accept and love as they are needed to be love. They are shielded from the political game but everything else is fair. It starts at home for sure.
I'm so sorry to hear of the pain and isolation that bullying as a child can cause. People that bully are hurt, people. It wasn't about you. It is about them. It wasn't your fault. You are worthy, important and your good works on this Earth aren't complete. You have grace. Give grace. We need you because you have so much to teach the world.
You are unique and one of a kind. You are special, made only from his image. Use that negative experience to empower yourself and others. Don't let a stranger or a hurt person take your glory. You have the victory! I pray for the Lord's grace to wash upon you all the days of your life.
I was bullied by almost everyone during my school years, including by some of the less classy school staff, and it has left me deeply suspicious of people and ready to cut them loose at the first sign of trouble. I question why you are asking why we got bullied; the only person responsible for bullying is the bully. I got elected because I was the easiest one to pick on, never did anything to defend myself and was never given any help, advice, or encouragement beyond the usual, useless "ignore it and it will go away." That's not why it started but that's why it continued.
Maybe knowing why is a pointless exercise, but my preference is always for more knowledge, not less. But in my case, and maybe in most cases, it's the tribal response to someone who is different. There was and still are a lot of anomalous things about me, and not just my height.
I did some graduate work at a university (and taught in a Montessori program) where exceptional children was one of their renowned topics of study. Exceptionalities can be on either far side of the Bell Curve, but because the Raleigh–Durham–Chapel Hill "Research Triangle" is populated by so many professionals, the public schools have IIRC something like 80% in the gifted category. This makes it an ideal place to study such children.
So while there are plenty of exceptions, one of the commonalities is being bigger and taller than their classmates.
Try 40 years. I seriously still hate my abusers, but...
They CANNOT ruin your whole life.
You can't speak for other people, especially considering that bullying can take many different forms and vary in terms of intensity and longevity. This stuff can and has been life scarring for many people. It depends on the type of bullying, the extent to which it happened, when it happened, the duration and whether there was anything in the victim's life to counterbalance it.
Last edited by EastFlatbush; 02-15-2018 at 04:41 PM..
The real reason we were bullied was the parents of the bullies.
In my own case while I was occasionally picked on by some loud mouthed, wise guy in class I didn't see that as any kind of life altering bullying that I couldn't handle. The real bullying came from my parents and teachers. All I could do was bide my time, try to keep them off my back, and make it to adulthood.
On page 1 of this thread someone wrote in response to question #3)
3. Now I’m very distrustful of most people and closed off emotionally for the most part.
That's been how I have negotiated life. Trying to be honest, fair, accommodating, trusting, and understanding in the real world didn't pay as a child and it hasn't paid since then, and since I cannot become what I have beheld, I deal with it as efficaciously as I have been able to.
Spot on. My cousins made fun of me and they just replicated how their dad s behaved. Now They are in their late 60's and 30's and still continue to be the same. If only I or my parents had the courage to say f u and cut their relationships....
But again its spilt milk , we can only try to replenish the supply..
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