end of the night - picking up on social cues (relationship, inability)
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Have you seen this in a non-home setting? Like you're with a group of friends out at, say a restaurant or bar and it's like everyone is standing around after last call or after the check is long gone and there's not really specific conversation going on, and there's nothing that's being waited for, just sort of an inability to take the step of saying goodbye and leaving.
It's like I want to scream, "OK, we're done here!" or else get someone to take the lead and decide what we're doing next. I often take the lead just to break the group out of the malaise.
Oh, in that setting, I just get up and leave when I feel like it. I don't expect anyone to leave just because I do. Of course they usually do. What's your hesitation?
Have you seen this in a non-home setting? Like you're with a group of friends out at, say a restaurant or bar and it's like everyone is standing around after last call or after the check is long gone and there's not really specific conversation going on, and there's nothing that's being waited for, just sort of an inability to take the step of saying goodbye and leaving.
It's like I want to scream, "OK, we're done here!" or else get someone to take the lead and decide what we're doing next. I often take the lead just to break the group out of the malaise.
Yeah, I just go home then. Once the bill is settled and if I'm tired, there's no reason to stick around.
Oh, in that setting, I just get up and leave when I feel like it. I don't expect anyone to leave just because I do. Of course they usually do. What's your hesitation?
Ditto!
"Good night everybody! It's been great fun and I'm headed home for bed! See y'all!"
Have you been at some group social event with someone who doesn't seem to pick up on natural cues that the "night is over?"
Cues like conversations dying, people yawning, attention drifting, venue emptying out. This person will kind of keep talking and exhibiting sort of a general resistance to leaving but not in any specific way.
Oh lordy yes! Once, it was a guy I was dating, but trying to break up with. He lived 2 hours away, and was pushing to want to see me at Christmas time, but I didn't want to see him. I told him it would be difficult, because I had relatives over, plus I had to take my kids to their dad. I had told him IF I got home early enough, I'd call him, and he could make the trip. Well, I didn't get home until 10:30pm (on purpose), and there the dim dam he was.
Here I have a house full of relatives, we're ALL tired, and now I have to entertain this dim dam boyfriend who decided to just show up. Talk about cutting tension with a knife.
But I'll admit...I've been that person before too. Except I WAS picking up on the social ques, but doing my best to ignore them. One time a really good friend invited myself and another really good friend to her house for some girl time, after something traumatic, sad and heavy happened to me. Our visit went late late late into the night...but I just didn't want it to end.
In case you were wondering, they forgave me. One of the friends died, but the other is still my best friend.
Have you been at some group social event with someone who doesn't seem to pick up on natural cues that the "night is over?"
Cues like conversations dying, people yawning, attention drifting, venue emptying out. This person will kind of keep talking and exhibiting sort of a general resistance to leaving but not in any specific way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkalot
Quit inviting them. I know people like that and they never seem to change.
Tell them honestly and openly what the problem is. Some do listen.
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