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It had nothing to do with attraction. In the olden days most women didn't have as many choices in the matter of how they responded to the advances of men as potential suitors. In the olden days men were expected to be bold and women to be meek. Courting (dating as you call it) and marriage were treated as business arrangements. In most cases if Daddy or some other male authority figure in the family said..... "my dear girl, it's all been arranged, Mr. So-and-So has asked for my approval and for your hand in marriage, and I've approved and you are going to marry him after a suitable courting period." ..... the women did what was expected of them whether the men were attractive or not. Now, today, women do have more autonomy, more choices and freedom to decide for themselves how they'll respond to advances and they feel freer to respond negatively if they choose to.
You asked to define creepy. Creepy is when a person gets 'the creeps' from somebody else. It's getting an unpleasant creeping, shivering sensation on the skin and down the spine and it makes the hair stand up on the arms and on the back of the neck and the scalp. The sensation is usually accompanied by an emotional feeling of unease or even of dread.
Creepy is also a predatory look that a creep gets in the eyes, it's a look that can not be hidden from other people for very long. And when someone else sees that predatory look in a creep's eyes it gives that other person 'the creeps'.
Creepy is also when a person won't take no for an answer, won't give up and persists in making continued advances even when the recipient has already indicated that they're not interested.
.
I often get the last two occurrences. I got so used to seeing the predatory look that I can actually predict what is going to happen down to the last blink of an eye.
Each of us is scared by what threatens us. It's understandable that people are scared of getting involved with one of the many wrong people out there and having a potentially inescapable crater blown into their life. It doesn't help anybody to say that one side's fears are more valid. If people are scared, they need to get away from what scares them. If it's a ridiculous fear, the unnecessary anxiety is on them.
As I said in my post above, there are people who are self-serving in their use of the word. But we aren't in a position to quantify how often than happens, or to disparage people who don't agree with our estimate. At the end of the day, who cares how often it happens? If a particular woman thinks you're creepy, you need to disengage right away regardless of whether the issue is yours, hers, or in the middle. To whatever extent it's yours, address it. To whatever extent it's hers, it's not yours.
Again, I'm not a white knight. I'm not saying any of this to get you to "man up," or to rescue the damsels here.
MGTOW might be the path for you. Get past the red-pill rage, learn how to let women's expectations of gender-interdependence roll off your back, and live for yourself.
If you really want a woman, work on your approach. If the female culture in your country is disagreeable to you, make the transition to a more agreeable culture where you can make a living.
To add my cents in... Given what I'm hearing about this world, the word "creepy" is kinda "creepy". Now, I've never had a woman call me "creepy" to my face, but I'm sure I have been called creepy plenty of times that I don't know about. Heck, I'm sure even Brad Pitt, George Clooney, you name him, has been called creepy even at the height of their attractiveness.
But the common definition of creepy being tossed about is basically the feeling of unease and it brings to me images of some stalker or a predatory person getting ready to make his move.
And to me, a woman that says creepy to describe me is liable to make my life miserable in surprising ways if I stick with her.
Now, this is not a knock on women. This is more to say that if someone makes it clear that s/he does not want anything to do with you, then you are likely better off complying.
And to me, a woman that says creepy to describe me is liable to make my life miserable in surprising ways if I stick with her.
Now, this is not a knock on women. This is more to say that if someone makes it clear that s/he does not want anything to do with you, then you are likely better off complying.
Isn't it pretty unlikely that if a woman finds you creepy, she'll want to have you stick with her anyway?
When a person is creeped out s/he wants to get away, not develop a relationship.
Isn't it pretty unlikely that if a woman finds you creepy, she'll want to have you stick with her anyway?
When a person is creeped out s/he wants to get away, not develop a relationship.
Definitely. that was my point.
As a matter of fact if a woman calls me creepy and then tries to be around me...
CREEP to the 10th power.
Because that is a sign of mental issues...
My response is more to discourage people from pushing any issue with someone who is creeped out. If s/he is creeped out, s/he is creeped out. It is not for you to know why... Unless you're having a "creep" streak.
As a matter of fact if a woman calls me creepy and then tries to be around me...
CREEP to the 10th power.
Because that is a sign of mental issues...
My response is more to discourage people from pushing any issue with someone who is creeped out. If s/he is creeped out, s/he is creeped out. It is not for you to know why... Unless you're having a "creep" streak.
Yes. There would be something seriously unbalanced going on in the above scenario. I have to think that's a minority of situations. Now we're talking mental illness, a whole other factor.
Yes, I agree, people should be discouraged from pushing themselves on other people.
OK, the word creepy is a word that I try to not toss around too easily and most responsible women I know feel the same but all the same I've felt it. We all know there are silly women who do throw the word around just to be mean, but that is not the audience or participators who are on this thread from what I can tell.
And as others have stated, it's mainly men who keep pushing when I've made it obvious that I'm not interested and I get extremely annoyed when someone forces me to be rude to them. I have met one man in the past 9 years who has creeped me out so it's actually pretty rare, however I'm going to describe him and what he did to make me feel creeped out.
First of all, he was not attractive but I might have overlooked that if I'd liked him. I didn't. He looked like Count Dracula's butler. He was a fellow dancer at a folk dance where everyone dances with everyone and between dances he would run over to talk to me and a couple of times he literally had me pushed into a corner to keep me from making excuses to get away. The second time he did that I reached over and pushed him out of the way so I could get out of his clutches but that didn't keep him from pursuing. Once my mother died in a city 2 hours away and I was getting ready to head over for the funeral and he suggested that we should meet up for coffee in that same city. I started leaving the dance early to get away from him but he would watch carefully and as I was getting my coat on he'd get ready to leave too so he could walk me to my car...he wanted others to think we were leaving together. If I was talking to another man he would walk over and stand next to me as if we were a couple. But the worst thing ever, and at first I thought it was my imagination, was that if I said something he didn't like, and he was extra-sensitive, his pupils would go to slits like a snake. I mentioned it to another woman at the dance and she said, "Oh yeah, the snake eyes. I've seen that." I didn't even think that was possible but we both saw it and I saw it twice. I got to the point where I was so repulsed by him that I would not look at him or talk to him and he still continued to pursue! Finally I had to be a real you know what to keep him from talking to me and he didn't take it well but at least he left me alone after that.
Your highly personal reaction to something between two people you don't know is creepy to me, in the literal definition.
You may want to describe why "overreaction" is creepy in your mind, in order to be relevant to the thread. Here's the definition of creepy:
Are you frightened? Do you have the uneasy feeling of creeping around a condemned house, reading someone's quick exchange on an internet forum? If so, I am very sorry. However, I can't promise not to do it again as YOU are the one actively and electively observing...I'm not coming to your house and repeatedly pushing a computer in front of your face despite your objections here...do you see the distinction between this and "creepily" pushing ahead with a forced interaction?
I'm having that "creepy" feeling that I'm about to be tasting my foot in this thread.
Last edited by TJenkins602; 03-23-2018 at 05:38 PM..
Creepy is when something (behavior ex) is seemingly normal but "off" just enough to raise my guard. A stranger who is trying too hard to be friendly for example.
In certain cultures smiling at a stranger is considered creepy... Smiling in of itself is normal. But when its from a complete stranger it is seemingly normal but because the intentions are unknown, they react as if there is some dishonesty or malicious intent behind the smile.
I’ll share a creepy experience when I was around 18 or 19. At the height of my be nice no matter what phase.
I was taking the train home in the middle of the afternoon from my part time job. I usually had a book, magazine or headphones with me to pass the time since the ride was kinda long - 30 minutes (pre-smartphone life). I sat down, and was just about to pull out my distraction. There was an attractive guy, probably a few years older than me sitting behind me. He said hi and started making small talk. I thoight he was cute so I kept talking. I have always been pretty chatty, so this was normal behavior for me.
At some point tbe convo got pretty good and he moved to sit next to me. That was no problem for me, he seemed nice. I was sitting on the inside, by the window. The train was pretty empty as it was pre-commute. The seats are two seater ones on our transit system. It is nearing the end of the line and my ride. At this point there are about 10minutes between stops. We keep chatting and suddenly the conversation and his tone change. He starts making comments about my legs (I was wearing a slightly above the knee skirt.) Then he starts touching the side of my leg. I move his hand. There is nowhere I can go since he has to move for me to get by. After I move his hand from my keg, he starts trying to give me a shoulder massage. The train is about to pull up to the last stop so I get up and scurry off with a polite “nice meeting you.”
When I got to the train station, I had to wait for my parents to pick me up. And he aslo got off at the last stop. There was only one area for people waiting for their rides. After I got of the train, I went to tge bathroom, assuming he’d be gone when I left the stall.
I was wrong, he was waiting for me near the entrance. He followed me to a bench and sat down next to me. This time trying to touch my back! My parents pulled up and I ran off to the car.
It obviously could have been a lot worse. That was the first time such aggressive behavior happened to me. I had no idea what to do. I was trained to be a people pleaser.
I totally thought it was my fault. That I was leading him on, etc, etc. From then on I literally stopped wearing skirts and dresses when taking transit. And I kept that up for at least 5 years. And I like to wear those items. Later I realized he was sketchy and I didn't deserve that for being sociable.
That is what I’d call creepy behavior from someone attractive.
The main thing that has given me a creepy vibe is a refusal to back off once having received clear communication that interest is not reciprocated.
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