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Some young adults will try to excuse poor choices in their behavior to, "I was young and dumb."
Is that a valid excuse? Or is it a smoke screen?
We are relatively dumb (and inexperienced) when we're young and often do risky or stupid things because of that. Aaaahhh, but here's why, a biological reason, and this is fairly new research. It explains alot in my opinion.
Snippet from link: It doesn’t matter how smart teens are or how well they scored on the SAT or ACT. Good judgment isn’t something they can excel in, at least not yet.
The rational part of a teen’s brain isn’t fully developed and won’t be until age 25 or so.
In fact, recent research has found that adult and teen brains work differently. Adults think with the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s rational part. This is the part of the brain that responds to situations with good judgment and an awareness of long-term consequences. Teens process information with the amygdala. This is the emotional part.
Once upon a time it was possible to "live down" youthful indiscretions. With only limited experience, it can be hard to foresee the consequences of thoughtless actions. Nowadays, the internet never forgets. I am so glad the internet didn't arrive until I was 50. I'm not required to make excuses for things I did 50 years ago, that nobody remembers.
We are relatively dumb (and inexperienced) when we're young and often do risky or stupid things because of that. Aaaahhh, but here's why, a biological reason, and this is fairly new research. It explains alot in my opinion.
Snippet from link: It doesn’t matter how smart teens are or how well they scored on the SAT or ACT. Good judgment isn’t something they can excel in, at least not yet.
The rational part of a teen’s brain isn’t fully developed and won’t be until age 25 or so.
In fact, recent research has found that adult and teen brains work differently. Adults think with the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s rational part. This is the part of the brain that responds to situations with good judgment and an awareness of long-term consequences. Teens process information with the amygdala. This is the emotional part.
i agree with tabularasa..... context is very important..... we all do things that are stupid when we are dumbyoung.... i took a jump on a motorcycle i am still amazed i lived to tell the tale, i married back in 1970 because "nice" girls back then did not live with their boyfriends, or even like in my case, my fiancee.... you just didn't do things like that... when younger, i am really pissed at myself i never had the guts to blow the whistle on the men i worked with who made lewd comments because the head of personnel always told me it was my word against theirs, and they are in charge and will just see to it that you were fired.
yeah, young and dumb...... but that should never apply to moral issues.... most of us know right from wrong, unless we were brought up in a barn..... so in other instances, I knew it was totally wrong what they did to this kid, 8th grader, when the "in-crowd kids" tacked a sign on his back " i'm a dork" and then proceeded to keep asking him to go up and get them this or that thing, and each time he did, the cafeteria roared with laughter, and this kid started to melt down, knowing something about him was wrong, but what? he was beet red, hesitant, looked like he was going to cry..... and i stood up, ripped the sign off his back and told the entire cafeteria they were a bunch of A-holes. I got suspended for 3 days, because i refused to apologize the next day to those nasty kids in that cafeteria. I just wouldn't.... young and dumb was an excuse? for that behavior? doing something mean and hurtful, unkind? They knew better, but it was fun to get their jollies destroying someone else, just to make themselves feel better than everyone, and add to their "power"..... and of course those incrowd jocks didn't even get a detention.
i do believe we all know what is right, good, truthful, and yes, needs to be expressed, but we also know what causes harm, belittling, mocking that will hurt another person. I was young and dumb just doesn't cut it, i bet that group of jocks went thru life cheating on their income taxes, renegging on their word or pledged to do this and not that, kicking their dog or losing it because the next door neighbor's cat won't stay out of his yard....... kids that think they are entitled to do anything for fun, laughs and power points will grow up to be adults who haven't a decent conscience, still feel the need to feel superior at the altar of their overweaning ego, and still think they can get away with just about anything in the name of "who will find out?" " i'm a rebel with a cause, wink wink" and that worse of all excuses? " because everyone does it"
This is one of the BEST posts I have ever seen on C/D. Peer pressure can be a two edged sword.
I would say it is neither necessarily an excuse nor a smoke screen. It varies. I say it fairly often, usually with regard to my choice of partner and the difficult marriage that ensued. I don't need anyone else to excuse me for that. It's a way of forgiving myself, for doing something with such a very high cost in terms of my own happiness and years I can never get back, resources wasted thanklessly. It's how I try to let go of any anger or bitterness I would otherwise be focusing on. I don't WANT to focus on it, but it's a struggle sometimes.
I also can at least appreciate that with time and experience, I have gained some wisdom. That evolution is the redemption of bad experiences, the silver lining of the storm cloud, you know? Sure, I made many sacrifices, but the gain, if nothing else, is in the learning I got from it all. Since I do like the person that I am now, and feel I am making better choices these days, I can forgive my young self for putting me through all that crap. Young me was not qualified to be handling the choices that were before her. She did her best, but her best wasn't great. Oh, well, huh?
If a person, on the other hand, does not say that they were young or dumb once, but stands by all of the choices they ever made, including the ones with bad outcomes, likely saying it was not their fault but rather the fault of someone else or unavoidable external circumstance, and defending a right to keep right on making bad choices well into maturity... Let's just say I feel far more comfortable with someone who can admit for whatever reason that their problems originated in their own minds, even due to youthful stupidity, than someone who refuses to, and says that they were never the problem, everybody else was.
I've been told I should have this kind of attitude towardss my past mistakes, but if anything, I've made more mistakes because of denial than I have from not knowing better.
Some young adults will try to excuse poor choices in their behavior to, "I was young and dumb."
Is that a valid excuse? Or is it a smoke screen?
I think of it more as an explanation for their behavior then, not so much an excuse. I made horribly stupid mistakes and decisions when young. Do you think people should just flog themselves, beat themselves up about things they did in the past until the day they die? Why should anyone need to be "excused" for mistakes of the past? They are in the past.
If someone asked me why I did the things I did, I'd say I was young, unsupervised, insecure and depressed. It is not an excuse, just truth.
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