Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm sorry if this isn't the right area for this thread.
I hate being alone. I always have. It's not that I like people that much and I don't like crowds at all. But I've never liked doing things by myself, it always felt pointless. I'm 46 years old. I've been single for 90% of my adult life and I hate it.
Most of my relationships imploded because I got into them out of desperate loneliness. I don't see the point to doing anything in life if it can't be shared with someone else.
So, I was wondering how other people cope with loneliness. I'd love some pointers or information about how I can find peace and contentment in my solitary condition. Thanks.
May I ask, why does doing things by yourself seem pointless? You said:
Quote:
I don't see the point to doing anything in life if it can't be shared with someone else.
While I agree that certain experiences are more enjoyable when shared, I can't imagine thinking that ALL experiences are pointless UNLESS shared.
I started dating my husband in my early 40s, we married at 45. I had relationships here and there, but my only long-term relationships prior to my husband were in my 20s. So I do know a little about what you're talking about. However, I did a great many things alone, because otherwise I would have been sitting at home all the time. Plus, I was comfortable in my own company and I had good friends.
I did have lonely times and I yearned for the right relationship, but I didn't settle for the wrong person out of fear of being alone. A couple of years before I met my husband, I set new expectations: that I might very well live out my days alone. Once I accepted that possibility it was very freeing. Who knows...maybe it even led to the possibility that would not be the case. I saw Tony Robbins speak at a conference I attended and his message was: if life doesn't match your blueprint adjust your blueprint. It helped.
Feeling lonely is hard! I am a bit younger and it is hard enough being alone sometimes. Having friends is not the same as having someone special in your life, from how I feel. Especially when my friends have SO. However, I find it easier to cope when I do what I am interested in and hang out with different people that I enjoyed spending time with. I also find joining different type of organization or learning something new a good distraction for loneliness. At night, I also enjoyed watching different movies. I think everyone has their own way of coping with loneliness. I hope you will find yours.
Are you giving up on being with others? And just want to be alone by yourself from now on? I kind of got that message from your question.
May I ask, why does doing things by yourself seem pointless? You said:
While I agree that certain experiences are more enjoyable when shared, I can't imagine thinking that ALL experiences are pointless UNLESS shared.
I started dating my husband in my early 40s, we married at 45. I had relationships here and there, but my only long-term relationships prior to my husband were in my 20s. So I do know a little about what you're talking about. However, I did a great many things alone, because otherwise I would have been sitting at home all the time. Plus, I was comfortable in my own company and I had good friends.
I did have lonely times and I yearned for the right relationship, but I didn't settle for the wrong person out of fear of being alone. A couple of years before I met my husband, I set new expectations: that I might very well live out my days alone. Once I accepted that possibility it was very freeing. Who knows...maybe it even led to the possibility that would not be the case. I saw Tony Robbins speak at a conference I attended and his message was: if life doesn't match your blueprint adjust your blueprint. It helped.
Hey, thanks for the response. I'm not afraid of being alone, I just hate it. I've never had many friends because I never really connected with people. I think you and I are different because you really don't have to worry about ever being alone. You're married so you have someone.
Feeling lonely is hard! I am a bit younger and it is hard enough being alone sometimes. Having friends is not the same as having someone special in your life, from how I feel. Especially when my friends have SO. However, I find it easier to cope when I do what I am interested in and hang out with different people that I enjoyed spending time with. I also find joining different type of organization or learning something new a good distraction for loneliness. At night, I also enjoyed watching different movies. I think everyone has their own way of coping with loneliness. I hope you will find yours.
Are you giving up on being with others? And just want to be alone by yourself from now on? I kind of got that message from your question.
Hi. Well, maybe women deal with loneliness differently than men. It seems like women can fill that void with friendships. Maybe men can too, just not me. I think you're probably right about me needing to join some organization to get involved with to find someone. I just have no idea what kind of group would want me as a member.
Hang out with my family a lot,a few friends,work alot,watch tv,or play on the net.
I do see my family a lot, every day actually. But it's not the answer for me. Work, tv and internet only go so far. I'm an active person and I want to go out and do fun activities with someone else, like hike, bike, travel, just someone to do everything with.
I'd concentrate less on how to be lonely and more on how to keep your relationships from imploding. Imploding!
Have you considered some cognitive behavioral therapy to help you with your self esteem and communication skills?? Might smooth the way for more effective communications and stronger relationships.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
