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I think I may be at the other end of the spectrum.
I truly believe most of my self actualization and personal growth has occurred when I am totally alone in the wilds so to speak. It is there that your mind clears and can return to core values and get you back on track.
Surprisingly this is also where destiny, if there is such, incidentally creates long term friendships.
You have to remove all societal imbued fronts to reach the reality of what's important in your life. Very scarce in a social setting, too many agendas.
But, that's just me.
Jim
absolutely, I thrive without other people, its other people that **** me off-not being alone.
Yeh, some are lonely in a crowd, others find peace in perfect solitude .
Depends on each persons inner state of being. It doesnt respond to geography or social conditions.
That said... There ARE certain things that just ARE more fun when shared, obviously. For instance, I can't really imagine taking myself to an amusement park and riding the rides and screaming and laughing uproariously ALONE. There are certain things I just don't do BECAUSE I'm alone. Still, one should be able to tolerate solitude without panicking.
Absolutely the question I wanted to ask. Why a woman? Different experiences can be shared with friends. You said, a woman and family, that's all you need.
Why does it have to a woman? Sorry to say, but it sounds like a life sentence imprisonment for that woman, especially that you live in a small house with your parents. No sane woman would do that.
Forget about it. And I strongly advice not to wreck any mail-order bride, poor soul from another country's life either. She will run away from you too.
You have to put yourself in order, put your life in order first. When you'll have something to contribute to a relationship and would feel ok with who you are then you will find a woman. Until then, fat chance. The way you say this about needing a woman sounds like you need a spectator to your life. Soory but that's an imprisonment for any woman. My opinion
Last edited by XRiteMA98; 06-15-2018 at 10:08 AM..
OP, I am a happy (mostly) introvert, so I cannot relate to the OP, but I just can't help but wonder why you have not formed any friendships (or at least friendly acquaintances with whom he can socialize and do things with). Do you have any personality quirk or disability that prevents people from wanting to be around you? You said you have had relationships before and were even married, so perhaps you can ask them or your siblings for their honest opinions. Just try to not be hurt by their answers! Also, did you ever discuss this possibility with your therapist? If so, what did he or she tell you?
Or do you think that people might just be turned off by the fact that you choose to let your elderly parents with you? (In all honesty, that would turn me off, as I always think there is some unpleasant baggage or drama associated with such a situation.)
You say that you have trouble connecting with people, so is it possible that you are, in fact, an introvert (or mostly introvert, as I am) and that you just need to accept that about yourself? Sure, even though I am mostly an introvert, I would not like it if I was entirely alone, but I am happy doing solo things 90% of the time, at least.
that old chestnut again, most people need others because they don't know any different. and they are afraid to be alone.
some of us have learned we don't need other people to be happy.
Orrrr...because they genuinely enjoy other people and thrive off interaction.
This isn't "needing other people in order to be happy." It's simply enjoying the presence of and interaction with others.
Volunteer, join hiking groups or whatever. Listen to drum n' bass.
OP, someone posted the above as the most obvious answer and you skipped over it.
There are a ton of social/athletic groups out there to join. Meetup dot com is great because you can sign up for as many groups as you like and you can go to meetups on your own schedule. There's no membership pressure. Go to one, skip the next 4, go back again in a few months. Whatever.
If you want to connect with someone, you have to do the WORK to meet people. It's that simple. Make a decision. Make a choice.
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