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I don't necessarily want to commit suicide but I just want peace, I don't want to feel anything. Usually I drink heavily and that'll get me to the point that I'm still alive but I feel like I'm dead. Can anyone relate to this?
Not to say I suggest this - but that's why people do opiates. It will take a lot less than drinking heavily to attain a feeling of peace...
Or, for a much healthier route, some therapists are starting to experiment with better drugs...
Check out an org called MAPS for more info on the more mind expanding compounds.
It goes without saying that people who lack self-control and discipline should not fiddle with opiates. However, a lot of mental pain can be tied in with physical pain and even relatively light doses can do away with most bodily aches....and make the mind feel better.
DO NOT MIX DRUGS. No booze and opiates or booze and ambien or booze and benzos. Talk to your doc.
Decent doctors are not going to shy away from helping to find compounds that may help...but they first have to see what the actual problems are.
I think forums like this are great for general discussion on psychological issues, but your's OP sounds specific. I think you would probably benefit from a medical professional more than random people on a website
+1
The OP needs to see a medical professional, a.s.a.p.
Perhaps he/she can start with his/her regular medical doctor before reaching out to a psychiatrist.
I don't necessarily want to commit suicide but I just want peace, I don't want to feel anything. Usually I drink heavily and that'll get me to the point that I'm still alive but I feel like I'm dead. Can anyone relate to this?
A short story....
Years ago at the urging of a friend, I attended a 10 day silent meditation retreat. This was really a serious retreat....11+ hours of meditation per day, no talking at anytime to anyone. No drugs (not even your prescribed ones). No reading. No writing. No mixing of the sexes. No leaving the property.
You get the idea.
It was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. But I took it seriously and worked through the various phases...this stuff is very scientific, and the human mind/body goes through stuff almost on cue.
By the 7th day or so I finally was somewhat clear and started to gain the benefits of the meditation - all the "tapes" in my head had run out as well as my "fight or flight" responses, etc.
I felt the peace that people seek in this type of meditation (some do it for 20-30 days, there is even a 45 day course!).....
An interesting aside is that the "peace" was almost identical to the feeling of a new (inexperienced) person taking a light dose of opiates...that is, it involves the same brain chemicals. I remember thinking "oh, so this is what these people are really seeking...the same feeling".....that was somewhat interesting.
Having been a child of the 60's I have never been a "just say no" type. It turns out that the most dangerous drugs (or lack of same) are the ones we naturally create...or don't. People have been "changing their minds" since the beginning of time whether by booze, chewing leaves or by other preparations...or now by extreme sports (jumping out of a plane will do it), sex and many many other options.
Put another way - you need Pleasure to offset the Pain. As to exactly what that Pleasure should be....it can range from Gourmet Food to sailing to smoking pot...and 100's of other possibilities.
In addition to bodily and basic mental feelings, many people report that only by helping others can they experience happiness (or pleasure), so that's perhaps another part of the fabric here.
+1
The OP needs to see a medical professional, a.s.a.p.
Perhaps he/she can start with his/her regular medical doctor before reaching out to a psychiatrist.
I used to struggle with alcohol and stopped drinking altogether. I would drink to forget my problems but the next morning, I'd feel a lot worse. I'm not talking about the hangover, I am talking about feelings of guilt and whatever was troubling me being amplified. Believe me, cutting the alcohol out of my life has been great and has helped me focus a lot more on getting to the root of the problems.
Next step for me is to get more into my practice of yoga so I can calm my mind and move forward from there.
My gut feeling is that you ARE trying to commit suicide by drinking yourself to death. Many people succeed at it.
Are you able to stop drinking? Take a look at that. Get help if you are unable to easily stop.
I don't necessarily want to commit suicide but I just want peace, I don't want to feel anything. Usually I drink heavily and that'll get me to the point that I'm still alive but I feel like I'm dead. Can anyone relate to this?
We have to have goals, people in our life and happy moments or we get off balance. It sounds like you are in a really off balance time.
really think about what you need, get rid of lousy people who bring you down, leave them behind.
Make new goals, go for a walk in nature, take up a hobby or take a class in something you always wanted to explore.
Best of luck-it is actually a time of new adventure and surprise-go for it!
You are escaping from your reality by heavily drinking and this will never bring peace to you, just stop drinking and face your reality, this is the only way to bring peace to you.
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