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When the subject is broached regarding topics which are things somebody your age should have accomplished by now, is it wrong to deceive people who do not know your past into believing that you haven't missed some major developmental milestones? Is it a waste of time to try to play the catch up game? Or unscrupulous to lie about your age (ha wouldn't this one would be exciting)?
That word "should" can get us all in trouble with guilt or shame. Why is somebody else allowed to decide what you "should" have accomplished?
Lives are so varied, experiences, that's why we end up with so many different opinions on the same topic in this world. What I'm saying is, don't worry about what somebody else thinks you "should" have accomplished, give yourself some room to grow naturally. You don't have to live at somebody else's pace, and there can be great advantages to not being the first horse out of the gate, maybe you lag behind in the beginning but win the race.
You don't even need to engage in conversation. You have the freedom to not comment or say anything. Then you have no need to decide whether to tell the truth or something else. People are endlessly nosey and petty. Some love to toy with belittle others, if you let them. Be in charge, and shut it down.
This is great advice, OP. You can take charge of the conversation, instead of passively following along. You can say, "I march to the beat of my own drummer, and do things by my own unique timeline", then turn the attention to them, and ask, "how about you" or "How about your kids"? People love to talk about themselves, or about anything that reflects well on them, so you may be surprised as to how easy it is to distract them. If they (rudely) persist in their line of questioning you, just say "I'm a work-in-progress" and change the subject again, or decide you need to leave for an appointment or meeting.
When the subject is broached regarding topics which are things somebody your age should have accomplished by now, is it wrong to deceive people who do not know your past into believing that you haven't missed some major developmental milestones? Is it a waste of time to try to play the catch up game? Or unscrupulous to lie about your age (ha wouldn't this one would be exciting)?
Most everyone seems to be answering the first part of your OP. And the advice is good. Have an answer ready, or change the subject, or exit the conversation. All good ideas.
As for catching up, I don't think it's wise to try. That leads to putting pressure on yourself and possibly doing things not because you genuinely want to, but because you think doing them will make you a more complete person. Especially if some of the milestones are social, and I suspect some are, because then you're involving someone else in your effort to catch up.
It is hard to answer without knowing your age and the milestones you speak of. If you are youngish, you are still at the stage of caring how you are judged. When you hit 40, something happens where that noise calms down and becomes quieter than your own voice. That is maturity to me, when you only need to impress yourself. If you let yourself down in your eyes, that always should matter more than what someone else says about you. I am talking about your authentic self that knows what you truly need. It is good to push yourself, but they should be your goals. So many people lie about age. I dont think others should be that curious about it. But, most people can tell.
Don't confuse milestones with millstones. Being tied to specific activities by a certain time can inhibit and stunt growth. True growth and maturity comes from meeting and overcoming daily challenges, regardless of when they occur.
Should Mark Zuckerberg have stayed at Harvard to get his degree, as was expected, or should he have followed his path to Facebook?
Other people's milestones are just that: milestones for other people. Judging yourself based on other people's standards is not helpful and doesn't provide useful feedback.
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Other people don't. .They're mostly just thinking in stereotypes.
