Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This sad story recently came out where a boy who graduated high school in 2005 (he'd be in his early 30's now) overdosed on drugs and passed away. He had a journal he had kept where he said he had been raped by a gym teacher. He has since been fired. I don't know either person whatsoever, I only read the stories.
My DH told my mom and I that he has friends from over the years who's kids had this teacher and they cannot imagine that he would ever do something like this and that it seems crazy. I have to admit that after seeing pictures of him online, seeing that he has a pretty wife and two kids it does seem hard to believe but certainly not impossible. Apparently some other kids came forward and said they guy could act creepy but mainly with the girls. However no one else has accused him rape. My mom basically got mad and said of course he must have done it and why would anyone say this and journal about it if it weren't true.
It made me think of that Brett Kavanaugh case where he was accused by a woman as a teen of rape. I believe he was never found guilty and man people thought the woman was crazy and lying.
There have been many cases as of late where people accuse someone of molestation years and years later. I also don't know why someone would say something that isn't true....but it happens. It sometimes feels like we just have to believe the accuser regardless.
Do you tend to believe the accusers of heinous crimes even when there is no proof?
Then the boy/man never accused the teacher publicly but it was only found in a private journal after he killed himself? I would tend to believe it, unless the guy was mentally ill and delusional to make up a story to write in his own journal.
Brett Kavanaugh was accused of drunkenly jumping on a teenage girl at a party and trying to get her top off but that's as far as it went. That could have happened but it was drunk teenagers and memories from decades ago are fuzzy. She did have an agenda to bring this story forth so that muddles things even more.
This topic has too many landmines for me too comment too much about it. It gets too politicized and emotional and I don't mean during just the past 4 years.
For people that do commit those crimes, attractiveness, socio-economic status, marital/parental status...all have nothing to do with it. The image of the ugly old van-dweller only describes a small portion of the people that commit these travesties.
Believing the victim does not mean you believe with certainty that it actually happened. Believing the victim means believing them enough to give them a fair chance at telling their story.
I always give the victim the benefit of the doubt because sexual assault isn't something that rarely happens.
There was one instance where someone I know accused someone and they themselves admitted that it was false, she however suffers from psychosis.
This topic has too many landmines for me too comment too much about it. It gets too politicized and emotional and I don't mean during just the past 4 years.
For people that do commit those crimes, attractiveness, socio-economic status, marital/parental status...all have nothing to do with it. The image of the ugly old van-dweller only describes a small portion of the people that commit these travesties.
I agree. I have a friend who died a few years ago. I am not sure what the reason was, but she was an alcoholic and most of us who knew her thought that she died from complications related to alcoholism. Shortly before she died, she told me she had been raped by her best friend’s brother while they were in college. She apparently told a lot of people (probably 10-15 years later) who did not believe that this guy could do such a thing. I saw a woman who was clearly struggling, and with something so hard to bring up, I just can’t see why she would have lied about it. Most people don’t have any benefit from bringing something like this up, despite what the media tells us.
I was molested by my mom's best friend's husband. They had 3 boys.
A man at our church exposed himself, on purpose, to both of my boys, and another little boy. The man was married with 1 stepson (who I think he tried and maybe succeeded in molesting) and a little girl.
A friend of mine was molested for years, by a trusted (by the parents) friend. He was married with 2 sons.
Because of my experiences, and the people mentioned above, yes, I tend to believe the accusers.
I agree. I have a friend who died a few years ago. I am not sure what the reason was, but she was an alcoholic and most of us who knew her thought that she died from complications related to alcoholism. Shortly before she died, she told me she had been raped by her best friend’s brother while they were in college. She apparently told a lot of people (probably 10-15 years later) who did not believe that this guy could do such a thing. I saw a woman who was clearly struggling, and with something so hard to bring up, I just can’t see why she would have lied about it. Most people don’t have any benefit from bringing something like this up, despite what the media tells us.
Yeah, just from personal knowledge, it's a *lot* more common for people to tell a few people that they trust (and swear them to secrecy) or to tell no one at all than to go public. They just want it to be over, and they don't want their life and their character to be picked apart by strangers.
I had a 15 year old neighbor expose himself to me when I was 7. It happened more than once. That is really all that happened to me but I knew it was wrong and i guess it made me feel wrong. I told my mom when I was in my 30's.
This is one of the hardest things... Because yes, in general, I do want to believe victims who come forward. I know that there is USUALLY no "proof" of sexual misconduct. Seriously, incidences where it happened but no proof is available, are, I'm sure, VASTLY more prolific than instances of false accusation. Rapists do not seek out places where witnesses or cameras can usually catch them in the act. You might, if you're lucky and if you've got the fortitude to endure a rape kit at a hospital (and can afford to go to a hospital and receive care in this country)...you might prove that sex happened. Maybe. But try proving that you did not consent. There is usually no rock solid way to take it past he said/she said.
So this whole "I just want there to be proof" crap, is just that. You might as well say, "I just want rapists to be able to get away with raping."
But damn though. It kinda messes with our concept of justice, don't it? Innocent until "proven" guilty? Well... ? Does that just mean, "make sure you cover your tracks well so that you can do crimes!"...? I don't know sometimes, it's tough. I DO want there to be some kind of burden of proof. I HAVE seen instances where delusional/paranoid mentally ill people journaled things or said things that were outlandishly false. It is not beyond my imagination at all, knowing a few people suffering from schizo-affective disorder, that a person might commit suicide and have a persecution belief that they write about. And that disorder (which is part schizophrenic symptoms and part mood symptoms like depression, anxiety, bipolar)...that one in particular, does not show up in childhood, but kind of pounces on a person during their teen or young adult years usually. So you can't think, "well they seemed normal through their childhood..." Some mental illness doesn't fully manifest until some point and them boom! It's there.
Now I don't place any value or importance whatsoever on his looks or his perfect family suburb life portrait or whether he has a wife or kids or any of it...none of that matters.
But I just...I don't think that any conclusion can be affirmatively drawn one way or another. But if it got out that a kid committed suicide and wrote that in a journal, I mean...how does that not destroy a person's career, even if it's not true, I mean, if all the kids in the school heard about it?
I feel horrible for victims who are not believed, and for whom there will never be enough proof to see justice served.
And I feel for those who are falsely accused, no matter the reason why.
But I do believe that the first thing is more common than the second.
I wasn't there, neither for the event nor for the interrogation nor as part of the follow up team. Hence, there is a very limited way to proceed.
Consider the situation of TWA Flt 800, the 747 that blew up off Long Island in 1996. Eye witnesses say they saw a missile bring it down. Why do I not believe them but rather accept that it was a misinterpretation of physics? Because there are lots of countries in the world that do not like the US sailing off their coasts and if this had a possibility of actually happening, does not one think they would be screaming up a storm?
Since no country did so, I follow another path to believe.
ESSENTIALLY, for such events, since I was not there, do not have access to information other than heresay, I must look at the surrounding world and see how it is reacting to decide whether or not I believe.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
