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Prayer can handle that for you. Sometimes when things are so real and hurting so bad and there is no other way to let go, just give it to God and he will relieve you of this burden. HE will take on the pain for you, and allow you to heal. Just say "Lord, you know my troubles and I need you to take this from me." HE will and you will let go.
Must be emphasized that "letting go" is a process though. Not usually a one-time event. Wish that it were!
I realized a helpful thing with my counselor the other day. I've been struggling with forgiveness for a while (person I don't know that ripped me off) and I compared it to my long, slow healing after my hip operation. The surgeon said it would take a year.
So why can't I allow my mental health a "year" to recover? Somehow we expect or hope for a "door to open" and voila, problem solved. All healing takes time, mental/emotional/physical.
Yep, I'm not surprised by any of your mom's actions. She more than likely is a narc...bleeding everyone around her bone dry, getting everything she can out of everything & everyone to the fullest until there's nothing left, but never taking any blame for any of it & not feeling any guit for any of her actions.
Certain people, espcially narcs don't deserve to be parents because they don't have any of the qualities it takes to be a genuinely good parent & she's one of them. Narcs are the type of people who don't need to have children, but it seems they often still have them so they'll always have people to have control over, serve them so to speak, take advantage of, etc., similarly to how a man has a harem in certain cultures.
Once one realizes that a family member (or anyone else in their life) is a narc, the best thing to do is stay far away from that person.
I hope you're a lot more content nowadays!
Wow, next think I know is you will guess her name.
After years of counseling and reading books, withdrawal was the right answer for me. It might have been Eleanor Roosevelt who said (paraphrasing) no one can hurt you without your permission.
My feeling about why she became a parent is because, well, back in the '50s and 60s that is what women did. She married my dad, whom she never seemed to have liked very much, and had four kids. I went to Catholic school and our family was kind of small compared to other families at the time. We gave her a reason to stay home which she did with great gusto.
Yes, I'm a lot more content nowadays and thanks for your kind comments.
Wow, next think I know is you will guess her name.
After years of counseling and reading books, withdrawal was the right answer for me. It might have been Eleanor Roosevelt who said (paraphrasing) no one can hurt you without your permission.
My feeling about why she became a parent is because, well, back in the '50s and 60s that is what women did. She married my dad, whom she never seemed to have liked very much, and had four kids. I went to Catholic school and our family was kind of small compared to other families at the time. We gave her a reason to stay home which she did with great gusto.
Yes, I'm a lot more content nowadays and thanks for your kind comments.
Glad to hear it! My fiance' on the other hand never had 1 day of any kind of therapy/counseling, etc. Should he have? Perhaps to help within himself, but he's gone no-contact w/ the 5 members of his immediate fam anyway & he's glad & feels a great weight's been lifted as I'm sure you did/do. He's been strong & done extremely well w/ handling it himself.
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