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If it helps, remember someone loved him enough to take those pictures when he was alive to feel it. So don’t feel sad, know that he was loved in his lifetime. Eventually, most of us will be forgotten in time. Even people famous in the own time are often slowly forgotten. Except for someone that does genealogy as a hobby, who could quickly recollect something about a great great grandfather? I would have to look at the family tree to remember their names let alone anything about them. And that’s just somebody who was alive not even 100 years ago. And some people, depending on their family history, might not even have the luxury of being able to look up the names. That’s why it’s so important to me to live and live in the here and now.
And for all you know, that man could have cheated on his wife, left his family, was a crook, etc. you know nothing about him. He could have been a really bad human.
If you're on round three or four, then you have gotten rid of the easier items. And, to me, it's perfectly expected that the process or the decisions might get "harder"/more emotional to get rid of more and you really pare down.
There's been so much great advice and support here.
As I plan for a major declutter project (after retirement), I've noticed for me, I've been ready to unload different categories of items at a different pace. Some tchotchkes will be easier than jewelry which will be easier than clothing -- which will be easier than books for example.
I watch a lot of declutter and organization videos on YouTube. All of my favorite experts tend to say: Any progress, is still progress.
You're doing the work, and working though the process. Sounds like you're doing great.
And for all you know, that man could have cheated on his wife, left his family, was a crook, etc. you know nothing about him. He could have been a really bad human.
Very good point. Maybe he wasn't a good man. I tend to try and think the best about people unless they prove otherwise. Rose colored glasses that I wear and all.
I am still getting rid of stuff, although I haven't done much over the holidays since I've been away visiting family. The last thing I got rid of, with the help of my boyfriend, was taking down the really heavy plasma TV on the wall. I need to start painting soon and the TV was having issues with weird shadows on it anyway (and I knew I would need to repair the wall behind the TV since it was basically screwed into the wall). I have four holes to patch and it took the paint off when it came down. I need to call a junk company to come get that and my king-sized bed frame (it was so big going up the stairs that the walls were gouged by it when the movers moved it in... I want it gone before painting for that reason).
But now I've run into an annoying problem. My house is echoing on the main floor and downstairs. I don't plan to buy rugs just so it stops echoing, but that's the only way I can think to stop the echoing. Luckily, the upstairs and bedrooms are carpeted so it's nice and quiet when we sleep, unlike the main levels of the house where everything sounds hollow now.
My teenage daughter is finally taking to cleaning her room out. I think the reality of the house going on the market in four months has hit her. She asked me for some boxes for books and other things that she wants to keep.
My story is a little different. I have binged and purged with stuff throughout my life. I have dreamed of getting down to 4 bags at 50lbs. I did it....then I lost control of it and it ballooned into a full house again.
I lost a dramatic amount of weight a few years ago. Got rid of it all again now have a surplus . As George Carlin used to say you need bigger places to keep more of your CRAP/STUFF.
As you get older though and rents fluctuate so much you want to be flexible.....sometimes I feel like Steve Martin in THE JERK when he leaves the house grabbing everything he REALLY needs and he winds up dragging everything down the street including an upright reading light in his bathrobe and slippers.
I envy people I know who can pack up and move in a moments notice ......for CHEAP and by personal car !
When I divorced in 2004 after 28 years of marriage and raising my kids, my husband and I both moved out of the house and sold it. Packing was heartwrenching for me, probably didn't bother him at all. I had a stuffed lion named Fred, a dear friend gave him to me on a birthday. Fred was there for me all the time when nobody else was. I cannot tell you how much I loved that lion. So, I slept with him every night, just to have something warm snuggled up against me. He was my comfort source and I truly loved Fred. My grandkids were playing in my room onr night, and noticed my collection of animals. The ones they seem to like the best are the ones I gave to each one of them but I held on to Fred forever. He sat on my bed and day in and day out he just sat there. Then one day I was taking some clothes to Goodwill and for some reason I just grabbed Fred and took him with me. I had to let go of that Lion but the thoughts I was having was to let someone else feel comforted. Maybe some little kid that feels alone will find a friend in Fred. Thus the end of my stuffed animals. Once it was done I rarely even thought about it. But thinking about getting rid of him was torture! Do it, you will feel better!
Nice......but unfortunately, the world doesn't work like that anymore.
The original plan for the stuffed animal collection (https://www.city-data.com/forum/membe...d-animals.html is just one small segment of it) was to have in my will for them to be given to the children of a children's hospital..........
............but that plan went out the window when it was discovered to be impossible. Between allergens and diseases, stuffed animals can not be transferred.
So, the collection stays on with me, my protectors in my witchy world.
Very good point. Maybe he wasn't a good man. I tend to try and think the best about people unless they prove otherwise. Rose colored glasses that I wear and all.
I am still getting rid of stuff, although I haven't done much over the holidays since I've been away visiting family. The last thing I got rid of, with the help of my boyfriend, was taking down the really heavy plasma TV on the wall. I need to start painting soon and the TV was having issues with weird shadows on it anyway (and I knew I would need to repair the wall behind the TV since it was basically screwed into the wall). I have four holes to patch and it took the paint off when it came down. I need to call a junk company to come get that and my king-sized bed frame (it was so big going up the stairs that the walls were gouged by it when the movers moved it in... I want it gone before painting for that reason).
But now I've run into an annoying problem. My house is echoing on the main floor and downstairs. I don't plan to buy rugs just so it stops echoing, but that's the only way I can think to stop the echoing. Luckily, the upstairs and bedrooms are carpeted so it's nice and quiet when we sleep, unlike the main levels of the house where everything sounds hollow now.
My teenage daughter is finally taking to cleaning her room out. I think the reality of the house going on the market in four months has hit her. She asked me for some boxes for books and other things that she wants to keep.
Probably get more money if you have the home staged.
Probably get more money if you have the home staged.
I tend to agree. It’s getting pretty barren. When it’s time to sell, I’ll ask my realtor who she knows to stage if needed. I still haven’t gotten to those 12 bins. I tried, but I’ve already been through them twice and can’t seem to select more stuff to purge. I think I just need to let them sit for a while and come back to them with a fresh outlook.
I just moved the bins to my mom’s house for now and I’m cleaning out everything from the house except what I need or really want. The garage is what’s bugging me right now. No clutter, but the shelves are full of tools, cleaning supplies, gardening supplies, and things like tiles used in the bathroom in case on cracks and cans of paint that are still good and I will use when I repaint, etc. So mostly stuff I’ll get rid of, but really can’t until I move. Of course the car takes up the most space but I’m definitely keeping that! Haha
I tend to agree. It’s getting pretty barren. When it’s time to sell, I’ll ask my realtor who she knows to stage if needed. I still haven’t gotten to those 12 bins. I tried, but I’ve already been through them twice and can’t seem to select more stuff to purge. I think I just need to let them sit for a while and come back to them with a fresh outlook.
I just moved the bins to my mom’s house for now and I’m cleaning out everything from the house except what I need or really want. The garage is what’s bugging me right now. No clutter, but the shelves are full of tools, cleaning supplies, gardening supplies, and things like tiles used in the bathroom in case on cracks and cans of paint that are still good and I will use when I repaint, etc. So mostly stuff I’ll get rid of, but really can’t until I move. Of course the car takes up the most space but I’m definitely keeping that! Haha
It sounds like you need to give the 12 bins a rest. You will have to prioritize preparing the house for sale instead. Likely you will have to go through the bins at your mom's house. Maybe have your daughter do it with you when she is home from school.
..........And my mom is the same with selling stuff. I had set of high end, stainless flatware that new, costs over $1000. I listed it on FB marketplace for $300 to start and my mom was "horrified" that I sold it for $250. I was just happy to get rid of it and have cash. Same with a yard sale I had this year. I really didn't care what people paid me, I accepted every counter offer. I was just getting rid of stuff and if I got money too, great! She said she thought I was "giving stuff away too cheap." Hey, I sold all that junk in less than 5 hours and had about $400 more in my pocket to boot. I was happy.
Boy, I'm glad I am not in it for the money.
I worked up enough energy .... and strength...to haul a few boxes of books and LPs out of the house the other day. I just needed to get rid of it and if the 2nd hand place didn't take it, the next step would have been Goodwill. So many boxes......and less than a Jackson. Talk about pennies on the dollar!
I don't know what I should be feeling, I am thinking nothing at all since I was ready to give it away.....and yet, it was sort of a shock to see so little for it all.
I don't know what I should be feeling, I am thinking nothing at all since I was ready to give it away.....and yet, it was sort of a shock to see so little for it all.
The beauty of it is someone else is throughly enjoying what you weren't anymore. When I give stuff away I look for people who fit the item. Sometimes I go up to strangers and just hand them stuff. It blows their mind. If you aren't using it just get rid of it money or not . Sometimes the pain is hanging onto stuff NOT letting it go.
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