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Maybe. People got married younger and fewer people never married at all so they have been doing something right.
For this reason I’m guessing people didn’t date nearly as much back then. If people are getting married at 17-22, how much dating could they really do as adults? Maybe you dated 2 or 3 people with the intentions of getting married…not as much of what we have now where people often date forever — some maybe a new date every week or two. When you haven’t dated 100 people and there’s no social media/OLD offering endless choices perhaps it’s actually easier to just settle down with someone you find nice/similar values/attractive enough and try to make a life.
Maybe. People got married younger and fewer people never married at all so they have been doing something right.
Not really. Marrying a "good provider" because you needed one often didn't work out long term. There were divorces, or two people simply chained to each other, living lives of quiet desperation, keeping up appearances due to the stigma of divorce, or the expense of divorce. Women nowadays don't have to get married. That's a major game-changer. It means their motives for getting married are different, their selection criteria are different, and if things don't work out, they can walk, since many are able to support themselves independently.
That should make all the guys happy, who are determined to avoid "gold diggers". Yay? Win-win? Why are guys complaining; it means there are way fewer "gold diggers".
Not sure about easier, but cheating wouldn't be a problem. No internet, hence no social media and meeting up new people (where you can cheat with them). I only envy that thing of those days.
(Yes, I have been cheated on, it really hurt)
Hate to break it to you, but people did cheat (a lot) before the internet and social media.
For this reason I’m guessing people didn’t date nearly as much back then. If people are getting married at 17-22, how much dating could they really do as adults? Maybe you dated 2 or 3 people with the intentions of getting married…not as much of what we have now where people often date forever — some maybe a new date every week or two. When you haven’t dated 100 people and there’s no social media/OLD offering endless choices perhaps it’s actually easier to just settle down with someone you find nice/similar values/attractive enough and try to make a life.
But what OLD and its endless choices really means, is that people are having to slog through an endless supply of bad dates and people completely unsuited for them. They're spending a lot of time spinning their wheels with poor matches, and becoming demoralized, eventually burned out, until they recover enough to give it another go.
Quantity of choice does not by any means imply quality choices.
For this reason I’m guessing people didn’t date nearly as much back then. If people are getting married at 17-22, how much dating could they really do as adults? Maybe you dated 2 or 3 people with the intentions of getting married…not as much of what we have now where people often date forever — some maybe a new date every week or two. When you haven’t dated 100 people and there’s no social media/OLD offering endless choices perhaps it’s actually easier to just settle down with someone you find nice/similar values/attractive enough and try to make a life.
Yes they did. Maybe not so much in the 1920’s but the 1950 and 60’s is a whole other kettle of fish.
Yes they did. Maybe not so much in the 1920’s but the 1950 and 60’s is a whole other kettle of fish.
Be interesting to know the average amount of people dated or “talking to” before marriage in the 50s vs today. That number seems like it could be 500+ nowadays with social media and OLD.
Be interesting to know the average amount of people dated or “talking to” before marriage in the 50s vs today. That number seems like it could be 500+ nowadays with social media and OLD.
Well, you said "maybe they dated 2 or 3 people", to which Spuggy replied, that in the 50's/60's, there was quite a bit more dating than that going on. That's true at the very least in the college context for some people. Though from what I'm told, the same "quality" issues came up: too many college men mistook their female fellow students for comfort women, and expected sex on the first or second date. Some things never change.
Be interesting to know the average amount of people dated or “talking to” before marriage in the 50s vs today. That number seems like it could be 500+ nowadays with social media and OLD.
According to my parents, who were dating in that era, going on a date with different people was no big deal, but "going steady" made it serious. There really wasn't any expectation of exclusivity from a few dates.
Well, you said "maybe they dated 2 or 3 people", to which Spuggy replied, that in the 50's/60's, there was quite a bit more dating than that going on. That's true at the very least in the college context for some people. Though from what I'm told, the same "quality" issues came up: too many college men mistook their female fellow students for comfort women, and expected sex on the first or second date. Some things never change.
Yeah, my 2 or 3 may be very low but how many people could a person really date as a 18+ yr old adult if they are looking to marry and do get married at say 20 or 21? Surely that number is many times fewer than the people nowadays that have OLD/social media and often date well into their 30s.
Yeah, my 2 or 3 may be very low but how many people could a person really date as a 18+ yr old adult if they are looking to marry and do get married at say 20 or 21? Surely that number is many times fewer than the people nowadays that have OLD/social media and often date well into their 30s.
Well, I mentioned the college environment. Back then, it was pretty common to get married after graduation, at some point. During the 4 years, there was plenty of time to date around. And as I also mentioned, plenty of guys weren't dating to get married. They were dating for sex. Although not too many women were receptive to that, or maybe depending on the college: Berkeley--maybe. More conservative locations that hadn't experienced the hippie wave and maybe never have--there was a disconnect between the expectations of some of the men, and those of the women, who expected to get to know a guy over time, expecting him to actually be interested in her as a person.
Does that sound familiar? Things really haven't changed in that regard; there will always be mismatches of that kind. People who end up dating each other once or twice, only to find they have nothing in common.
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