Settle a disagreement about Durham? (Raleigh, Cary: crime rate, landscaping, university)

[mocharoman]

But I bet she will shop at the Southpoint Mall because it is the best one in the Triangle area.

[NM posts]

Chiming in too - she's definitely wrong! In fact even people who generally think Durham is dangerous probably wouldn't think you're at risk of being jumped by street gangs, hee. No disrespect to your fiance - it's just kind of a funny image.

Before I moved here, but after I'd decided upon Durham, a coworker at my then job in another state warned me that Durham is dangerous. She'd actually grown up in Durham so I did give some weight to what she said, but I'd also really looked at all other factors - and this forum - and decided on Durham anyway. It was the right choice for me.

I never feel unsafe. There are certainly areas of Durham where I would feel unsafe living there, but I don't even feel unsafe driving through them. It would be great if you guys could come for a visit because then she could see how Durham is now (it's easy enough for a single person to just move here anyway but you're engaged so you need to convince her).

[ncmickey]

Durham is awesome. But I've realized trying to convince someone that their ignorant views of Durham is wrong is near impossible. They usually have their heads firmly planted in the sand and have no desire to learn anything different. Just a waste of breath.

Tell her I have been here 20 years and I enjoy my job as a door gunner on the school bus. She would believe that faster than believing that Durham is safe.

[urbanmyth]

...if we ever moved back to NC, Durham (Charlotte or Asheville) would be the only places we would choose.

[goodbyesnow]

Ah, Why didn't anyone tell me Durham was so bad in the year I've been here?? I've gone there to shop many times, I've met people in parking lots for Craigslist purchases, and no ever told me it was a scary place! I'm wondering how I missed it in all the times I've been there! ( I HOPE my sarcasm comes through and I don't get blasted)

[jill7930]

Originally Posted by ncmickey

Durham is awesome. But I've realized trying to convince someone that their ignorant views of Durham is wrong is near impossible.

This! Been in Durham 13 yrs and love it. We are raising our family here - it is safe and family friendly. The out-of-state license plate comment especially made me chuckle for its utter ridiculousness. If you regularly drive around Durham, you see out-of-state plates everywhere; Duke is a national powerhouse at the undergrad level, the grad level and professional level with the business school, law school, med school, etc. People come from all over the country to spend time at Duke, and they bring their cars with them - I can guarantee you that there are not thousands of Duke (and UNC) students, post-docs, and visiting scholars regularly getting jumped by gangs because they have out of state tags.

Oh, and this New York Times piece in the travel section about spending 36 hrs in Durham and what to see/do is really just a ploy to get people trapped into unsafe areas and then laugh at them when they are beaten up: http://travel.nytimes.com/2013/01/20...anted=all&_r=0

[MsT89]

Your fiancée is completely off base about Durham. It is a great place to live because there's so much to do and such an interesting mix of people. There are some areas where I wouldn't go at night, but on the whole it is a safe place to live. In my 24 years here, I have never heard of gangs surrounding cars, regardless of the license plate.

My fiancee grew up in the Triangle

I'm guessing from the way you phrased this, your fiancée didn't actually grow up in Durham. Most of the people who hold negative opinions of Durham have never actually lived there, but just hear stories.

[LoopDeLoop]

Ditto to all of the above.

Durham may have pockets of places that I might prefer not to have my car break down after dark, but so does anywhere else in the world. Those pockets are small and Durham has blossomed in the 15 years that I've been here. It is definitely revising at a fast pace & I'd not be upset to move to it.

[VashDaStampede]

Hahaha, as a former NYC resident that visited this place numerous times with NY plates before settling permanently...I have to say that's kinda ridiculous and quite funny. I see Florida, South Carolina, Virginia, New York, New Jersey plates all the time.

Granted, there are bad parts (just like any other neighborhood) but really c'mon. There are no street gang bangers waiting outside the entrances of Duke en masse.

[dio108]

Don't listen to these people. Durham's Duke university has a violent gang of thugs awaiting anybody who didn't score at least 1250 on the SAT. Unless you can prove you're really good at basketball!