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Holidays are a depressing time for many, many, people. We have this Norman Rockwell picture of the happy family in our minds when in reality, even when we are home with our families, a lot of real things fall short. It could be a low-paying job when others are thriving, a child failing in school, a drunken uncle, a person who has died, the revival of childhood quarrels, etc. etc. etc. It is different in different families, but it is always stressful. And Christmas -- the expectations can be so much higher than the budget and the religious significance lost in stores playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving.
I'm not trying to be a downer here, just to say that holidays can bring on depression and it is common and not only for people who have just moved.
So Betty Boop -- call your family. A nice long telephone call and talk to everyone. Get out and walk and enjoy the sunshine, the feeling of walking will help. Tell yourself, this will pass, this will get better. Because it will. Another year, maybe next or later, you can go up and visit. And, perhaps you will be happy to be there. Or, just maybe, you will think "I am building a better life." As you walk today, reflect on the positive reasons you had for moving. I'm sure you had some good ones. It takes a while to feel at home in a new place but stay strong and it will happen. And Happy Thanksgiving! -- I hope your day turns out better than you expect.
Are any other recent transplants feeling as blue as me? Today's 70+ degree weather was nice and all......but as someone who's lived up North all of her life (before moving to NC this summer), it just didn't seem like the day before Thanksgiving.
I know how you feel. I felt the same way when I moved from Pittsburgh PA to Dallas TX. I was all by myself, just graduated from college 6 months earlier, and hadn't made that many friends. I probably spent my Thanksgiving in front of the TV eating a TV dinner. Christmas was rather boring too. Although the weather was so nice that I actually went out and played a round of golf in shorts and sandals
That first holiday season made me realize that I was looking at the glass as half empty. I took the next year and made lots of new friends, found new activities and places to go, etc. Haven't looked back since.
I can understand how you feel. You're not alone. All my family is in PA and we usually try to get together during the holidays. This year we won't be able to do that. Fortunately, the neighbors opened their house to us. We will be going there for Thanksgiving later. Then, we are going shopping to get into the Christmas spirit. Keep your chin up and get out and do something, it will make you feel better. Hopefully, the next holiday you can drive up. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'd like to suggest with nothing but good intentions and wishes to you that until you stop thinking of where you came from as "back home" it will be difficult to get comfortable here, not only on Holidays but in general.
This was our first T-giving away from home too. I always cook, and I did this year too....but for 3, not 15.I have to admit...it was MUCH less stressful. As for the weather, I'm from S. Jersey and some years it was in the high 60's, low 70's Thanksgiving Day...so that part was not much different. We had T-dinner on our deck here outside.... MUCH prettier "atmosphere" than my dining room back in Jersey.(we are out in the country-side in Johnston County..the trees are GORGEOUS right now)
We talked to the family on T-giving morning(most went out to dinner back home), and we went to a neighbor's house across the street for dessert T-giving night to watch football.
We'll spend our first Christmas here too this year....going back to Jersey for a week the day after Christmas. Again, I'm actually looking forward to a more low-key Christmas...and creating new traditions for my husband and daughter here. We're looking to go out to dinner on Christmas Eve to a nice, low-key restaurant...and will cook a ham T-giving Day here at home(usually are at the in-laws back home...so its always a "rushed" morning on Christmas Day to get out)..so it will be nice for a change to stay in our jammies all day. We'll head North the day after Christmas and will have 1 or 2 MORE Christmas' once we get back home. I'm looking forward to it actually...it will "extend" Christmas until the New Year.
Its what you make of it....and be willing to create new traditions in your new home here in N.C. I'm sure it will be better next year for you.
Are any other recent transplants feeling as blue as me? Today's 70+ degree weather was nice and all......but as someone who's lived up North all of her life (before moving to NC this summer), it just didn't seem like the day before Thanksgiving.
We moved to NC for a myriad of reasons, nicer weather being one of them......but I can't believe I actually miss the cold weather (at least for the holidays).
The weather aside, this being my first Thanksgiving away from "home" is adding to my sadness. I keep thinking of what my family must being doing back home, getting ready for Turkey Day.....and all of them getting ready to spend tomorrow together.
This is hard. I'm not sure if writing this is making feel better or worse....
Why not make the most of it!! Life is what you make it.
I have to say there are alot of people in a lot worse situations.
My husband is overseas in the war and we have NO family here just my 4 yr old and myself. We went to a soup kitchen on thanksgiving and dished out food to others who really have nothing. So instead of us sitting at home crying and upset because of him not being here we went out helped others and were distracted from our troubles. I'm by no means trying to get anyone to feel sorry for me I'm simply saying that... why not remember others who
could really use some help.
Good luck in your adjustment and just start enjoying your new life. As long as your family is w/you and healthy that's the most important thing of all!!
Sorry you are feeling sad. I also have a hard time during the holidays. I am originally from Scotland, but live in FL ( long story!) and between it being too warm around this time of the year and missing my family there, it is rough. This Christmas I will leave all 4 of my children here to go visit my sick Mom in Scotland. Torn, always.
Last edited by beautycastvixen; 11-25-2007 at 04:10 PM..
Reason: link added
geometry jokes--cute....thanks for helping me cheer up
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Hi from Barbara
Tri-angle of fun!
