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Are you from the Northeast? As someone from the Northeast originally, I understand the nature of where you come from in the meaning of your statement though I do not agree with it.
I'm not sure where you are from but in the Northeast people are a little more blunt/obvious/frank about their feelings. When you are used to that - it is something you assume is everywhere. Yet it doesn't mean it is the correct behavior everywhere.
It took me a while to realize that what some may call frank, honest, and knowing-where-you-stand, others may call rude, obnoxious, and pretentious.
Yes, I was taken aback at first by all the "happy to meet you" smiles I would get from people who were in fact not happy to meet me, but in truth I learned to appreciate their good manners over my insecurities of whether someone really meant it.
I always feel that when you move to an area (whether new neighborhood, state, region, or country) it is your responsibility to learn and respect the local customs vs insisting the rest of the area matches your way of doing business. People who can't fathom that are rarely happy in new environments.
In truth - you failed your new location because you wanted it to be like where you moved from. Raleigh and NC didn't fail you. That's just being frank, open, and honest with you.
I disagree with you. I moved here from NY, and have gotten some nasty and even straight forward comments from people who I work with...people who only met me saying they don't like me just because I am from NY. In comparison to NY, at least the places where I've worked people seem more hospitable regardless of where you were from.
Just chiming in on this last page here, some times those happy to meet you smiles and waves are genuine. I know when I say it I mean it, I think for people that think that there some ulterior motive are just thinking too much into it. Everybody isn't against you are judging you. If no problem has arrived don't create one.
As far as NY hate, you get what you give in this world, I've met people who come down here say something rude as hell(c'mon now, you can't pass off being frank as just being honest, when many know good and well there being completely unnecessary) and then get surprised at how their being received. I met people who with little introduction, dissed how we dress, talk, bash our state, the city, our home, food, culture, education, you name it. In my head I just can't imagine my self doing this any where. At no time have I traveled to another state and city and done this, some of you guys do this(which gives people the "wtf did you move here for then response"), nobody is going to just hate you for no reason, not going to say all but some of you are giving people every reason to not like you, it's not where you're from, it's you sometimes(cool people and jackasses all over the world).
Didn't read the original post but reading the title, all I can think is, what I have been thinking about of a lot of post good and bad about people who move here, and that is why don't people sort of check out a area before they move there. There is always different strokes for different folks, reading good things and hearing good things is a reason to visit a place, not move there then be left surprised because of a place not meeting the expectations you had in your(not literally the OP just speaking in general) head didn't match reality or in the very least have the things you liked from the places you left or other places you've been.
Last edited by drrckmtthws; 06-27-2015 at 08:26 PM..
"I'm talking Atlanta, Tokyo, St. Louis, NY etc."
If you thought our Triangle area was going to be like/similar to these areas you did not do your homework. Time to move on. Best wishes.
I always say if I ever end up back North I will still wave to everyone driving by my house and say hello to people on the street, because I've fully embraced that and will not go back. It wouldn't be as well received, though (and would in some settings mark me as a suspicious person)
You will definitely get some strange looks because it's happened to me when I go back up. If you say hello to a store clerk up there, the next thing they apparently expect to hear is "open the safe"!
I remember stopping at a rest stop in NJ on our first trip back north - walked up to the counter to order something and got the old "gangbanger stare" - you know, they don't ask if they can help you, they just stare you down. And I turned to my husband and said "well, we're north of the Mason Dixon Line!"
You will definitely get some strange looks because it's happened to me when I go back up. If you say hello to a store clerk up there, the next thing they apparently expect to hear is "open the safe"!
I remember stopping at a rest stop in NJ on our first trip back north - walked up to the counter to order something and got the old "gangbanger stare" - you know, they don't ask if they can help you, they just stare you down. And I turned to my husband and said "well, we're north of the Mason Dixon Line!"
It's so true. I did it on a recent visit back up. A few times I said hello to people I passed on the street in Manhattan, which is kind of hilarious, and I stopped once I realized. I still walk as fast as ever.
I've lived and worked in very busy cities (Cleveland, OH; Newark, NJ) and very VERY rural towns (in WV and TN), and Raleigh is my favorite locale so far because it's a nice mix of urban, suburban, and rural. I do feel that the suburbs are starting to get a bit sprawly, but I try to remember that the more people there are = the more stuff there is to do, since Raleigh tends to be supportive of family-friendly stuff.
But I also know that it comes down to what you like to do with your time and what you cannot tolerate. I won't wait more than 15 minutes for a seat at a restaurant. I *hate* ambient noise like people talking, traffic, etc. I like to get into the woods. I like being able to afford a big backyard without the pressure of making six figures. I like being able to park downtown and walk through SparkCon. I'm really charmed by the turnout at Garner HS football games in the fall. Other people prefer light rail, big name concerts, high-end apartments. I get it. We did that in Cleveland (before it became the wasteland it is today). I have friends who will never move from their apartments in Chicago, even though the thought of sharing walls with other humans horrifies me. It's just about what you can tolerate, what makes you feel comfortable and "at home," and how you like to spend your time and money. If someone comes to Raleigh expecting NYC, well of course that person's going to be disappointed. I lived and worked in NJ and commuted to NYC for a year, and there's no city like NYC. That's why it's a symbol of the American city. My international friends who aren't familiar with US geography always ask me how far I am from NYC because it's a global touchpoint. No so with our City of Oaks.
Also: We moved to Raleigh because it was close-ish to the beach, had good job opportunities for my engineering husband, and had an NHL team. GO CANES!
I disagree with you. I moved here from NY, and have gotten some nasty and even straight forward comments from people who I work with...people who only met me saying they don't like me just because I am from NY. In comparison to NY, at least the places where I've worked people seem more hospitable regardless of where you were from.
I can't discount your personal experiences though I can say in my decade living in Charlotte area , and over all my visits and vacations to Raleigh, Wilmington, Asheville, Winston-Salem, Oak Island, Baiden Lake and places up and down the Eastern coast - I have never experienced that. Not once.
I worked in NYC for 15 years so I can appreciate where you're coming from. I have lived in SC, just over the border from Charlotte, and have found it extremely difficult to make friends. Even at my church, which is an old, established church, I have not been able to crack the code. I find that Charlotte has very little for me, with the exception of theatre and sports. I'm also past the age for clubbing so no thoughts on that topic. If I had a dime for every time someone said "you're not from here, are you?" to me, I'd have lunch money. After 10 years, I still feel like a fish out of water. Most transplants I meet are very happy here but it's different when you have not family. They've brought their "peeps" with them.
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