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Thanks for this--I have secretly worried that people would think I was a relocated Yankee (I am not, I'm from 2 hours up the road in VA) and be mean
I realize I'm still part of the problem--the massive growth--but we're not showing up shoeless and jobless and hoping for Utopia, it's a simple job relo.
But my defensiveness means that people on this board have, of course, made it clear that they're not at all thrilled with all the growth. We've lived in FL for the past 8 years and it's like that there--the growth means lots of money coming in, but it also means a massive strain on resources. And when I was growing up in VA, folks there resented the northerners too. People always feel discomfort with what's different.
I do believe that strangers are different to one another in different places--I've lived in 5 states and have noticed a distinct difference in, say, Atlanta compared to Boston. People are people, but social norms are not standard.
Relocating to Raleigh in 1 week, after my move from NJ to GA i can't wait to get there, met Debbie F here on city data and she was extremely nice and helpful to my family with this move, there's rude people wherever you go but for the most part, my visits to Raleigh were great, more warm more welcoming by far!
I was born and raised here, and I am of Asian decent. Never had any problem, and I loved all the questions people used to have for me especially when there weren't many South Asians here. I always thought it was funny people thought we were hispanic. That was when there were not even many Hispanic people in NC, they would always say hola to my mom. Sometimes I would tell people about my heritage and they still though we spoke spanish. Things have changed a lot, but everyone is SO NICE!
Last year I had the pleasure of working with the most delightful gentleman named Vik. He was Pakistani, but born in India. He has been in the US for more than 20 years, living in the Northeast. One day he stopped by my model home sales office to visit me. Vik was very perplexed by a conversation he had had that day with a total stranger. The stranger made some assumptions about Vik's original homeland that made him ask where the lady thought he was from. When she replied "Mexico" he was just dumbfounded. I was very amused, mostly by his surprised reaction. From that day forward, I always addressed him as my Mexican friend, Vik. He always started our conversation with "hola" after that. We got many giggles out of that whole situation.
I was born in Danville and raised in Emporia... so it sounds like we are from near the same place!
Ignore all the anti-growth yahoos on here... that is totally different from what I've seen in person or on the phone. About 19 out of 20 of the people I've talked to moved here from somewhere else and are incredibly warm and welcoming. Most of the anti-growth people on here aren't really natives... so in my opinion its silly for them to complain about other people moving there.
I've lived in places with out of control ridiculous growth, and in places with no growth. From what I've seen, Raleigh is somewhere in between and they seem to be doing a decent job of it. There will always be a few people that complain and there is nothing you can do about that. If they don't like the growth, I'm sure there are a LOT of places throughout NC that they could move to that would resemble their glory days here in the Triangle before the growth started. The Triangle is dynamic and growing and its not very likely to change... so people have three choices... 1) embrace it, 2) sit around and complain about it, or 3) move somewhere that doesn't have growth. Neither of these is going to effect the growth in any sizable fashion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by annesg
Thanks for this--I have secretly worried that people would think I was a relocated Yankee (I am not, I'm from 2 hours up the road in VA) and be mean
I realize I'm still part of the problem--the massive growth--but we're not showing up shoeless and jobless and hoping for Utopia, it's a simple job relo.
But my defensiveness means that people on this board have, of course, made it clear that they're not at all thrilled with all the growth. We've lived in FL for the past 8 years and it's like that there--the growth means lots of money coming in, but it also means a massive strain on resources. And when I was growing up in VA, folks there resented the northerners too. People always feel discomfort with what's different.
I do believe that strangers are different to one another in different places--I've lived in 5 states and have noticed a distinct difference in, say, Atlanta compared to Boston. People are people, but social norms are not standard.
There is sooooooooo much more negativity towards transplants on this forum than what people experience in real life. Seriously. I think the veil of anonymity allows some people the freedom to behave more honestly or rudely on this forum than they would face-to-face. Don't be fooled. In day to day activities, no one really cares whether you're a transplant. People will treat you just as well as you treat them - the good ol' Golden Rule in action.
I just joined this board - this is post #2 for me. And I don't want to start off sounding negative, but I wanted to add a thought to this. I moved here 4 yrs ago, from the north. I think I'm a very nice person, very kind, smiling, etc. But it seems to me that at face value, everything seems to be nice and friendly, but after a while, it seems that is the social face that some put on. And meanwhile, behind your back, they are saying something quite different. perhaps those who speak of negative things here online are speaking the truth, and maybe that's the "behind-your-back" truth that they would never say to your face, because to them, they call it "manners" and being nice to someone. I've questioned how being dishonest is being kind and nice? (appearing to be firendly, while having a different POV inside)
Is it possible that natives really don't have a nice feeling about transplants, but their upbringing tells them to be socially polite, but their inside attitude is something different, and if they have a small way of getting the upper hand, they will, because of that underlying attitude? Is it possible that is where the reputation comes from - because people have seen it before - it really exists? As I said, I believe I'm a nice person and I treat everyone with respect and manners, etc - I'm not a pushy, arrogant northerner. I moved here because I hoped my friendliness would fit better here. I don't want to have to be as aggressive as one must to exist in the north. So I think I bring my friendly style here. I have been disappointed to discover that I've been told something in a very friendly way, but it turned out to mean something very different in the end. I've seen the phony-friendly here. It's hard to know where AI stand with people sometimes for that reason. It's hard to know if this person would make a good friend or not for this reason - I can't tell when they are being sincere, or just socially polite.
I'll still take that smile, phony or not, as opposed to the coldness of aggressive people in the north. And I'll still give my sincere, warm smile to everyone.
lol no no no...don't be afriad. I'm just wondering because we lived in Apex up until this past summer. I'm a good 700 miles away now so you don't have to worry about that. Just curious. I really liked Apex and in the 13 years we lived in NC (moved back to upstate NY in August) after living all over the triangle, Apex was the place we liked best. I was just wondering what subidivision you were in.
I guess I should be more clear - that feeling I described isn't just Apex. What I said was my feelings about how people in the south may feel about people from the north in general. I know it's not only southerners - there are many people here from the north, and it's likely I encountered this from northerners too. **sigh**...maybe it's just people in general. (maybe I have trust issues!)
Apex is a lovely town. Though in my 4 years here, it's exploded with growth and prices. I am renting, and when I moved here, I got a very nice townhome to rent for under $600/month. Then development happened, and for the same place I'm paying over $800/month, and if I re-sign, I can expect that to go up more.
I will say that generally I live near Rt. 55 - the Durham end of 55, near Rt. 64. They have a new shopping complex now where nothing but woods used to be. It's actually like a pretty big strip mall, then connected by a road that takes to another village-type shopping area where most shops aren't filled yet - it's still so new. (The new Target shopping area, that connects to the area with a new Kohls and movie theaters and more.)
Why did you move back up north after being here? It's cold up there!
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i can't wait to get there, met Debbie F here on city data and she was extremely nice and helpful to my family with this move, there's rude people wherever you go but for the most part, my visits to Raleigh were great, more warm more welcoming by far!
This post made me smile
