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Also, I should say that I recently watched a pretty terrible movie on Netflix, I think it's called "I care a lot"... where people basically scam old people. Only thing I learned from that movie is how old people can be so vulnerable. I was just trying to figure out if this one of those "we care about you" situations where they get old people into their developments and turn them into cash cows. That's why I was wondering about the legality of this whole enterprise.
Ha! I can see why that movie would make you paranoid!
You're confusing free and clear homeownership with assisted living and nursing homes, though.
Honestly people who stay in giant homes that they cannot afford to keep up are more at risk than people who downsize into 55+ communities with yard maintenance and homes they can take care of.
Or not. I could technically move to one now but not for me!
Again - how you feel at 55 is in no way indicative of how you will feel in 20 or 30 years if you (and I) are lucky to live that long. Having parents and in-laws live into their late 80s and early 90s gives one a different perspective to the phrase "never say never".
Both my parents have passed on now (died in their 80s). I think I have enough perspective to say I, personally, would not live in a 55+ community. I am a big fan of CCRCs, though. My mom was in one for 3 yrs before her death. Hate that they are so expensive, but they are the way things should be with a safety net. 55+ is just a bunch of older folks, no safety net. What's the point? My dad was in a nursing home for 7 years. 55+ wasn't going to help him.
I don't mind kids in my neighborhood. If I can't keep up my yard I can hire someone. Our current neighborhood is a nice mix of young families and middle aged folks and older retirees. We have a pool nearby that all ages use. If I want to continue to use the pool (it's not that big a thing for me) I would just go when the kids aren't doing swim team practice. We usually have some older ladies in their late 60s-70s who hang out in the water with their floaties and gab. I have no desire to be secluded away from families and kids until I need that safety net that a CCRC would provide.
BTW, my MIL is in her 80s and still in great health and in her condo in Charlotte that she has lived in for the past 40 years. She has no plans to move into a 55+ community. She does have her name on some CCRC lists, but is finding it hard to pull the trigger when she is still active and energetic (former yoga teacher).
I think you're really reaching to find reasons to dislike/distrust 55+ communities.
You may very well feel differently when you get older.
Honestly, I really was just curious. Especially about the legality of it, and if it was just another thing that real estate developers came up with to make money. You are right when I first read this thread my immediate feeling was distrust, but I am that person. So, I guess at the end, if someone wants exclusivity of 55+ community it's their business. And, how I feel about it doesn't matter.
Quote:
Originally Posted by poppydog
Or not. I could technically move to one now but not for me!
I do not think so either. Our plan is to just get a condo/townhome somewhere. Easy to maintain, no yard, kinda deal. To each their own.
I'll bow out gracefully from this thread, cause I am way too young to either understand or have a discussion about it right now. I don't want to p*ss y'all off. I actually like discussing things with some of you, so I do not want end up on your ignore lists...
I'll bow out gracefully from this thread, cause I am way too young to either understand or have a discussion about it right now. I don't want to p*ss y'all off. I actually like discussing things with some of you, so I do not want end up on your ignore lists...
I've participated in this thread quite a bit, but can assure you I'm certainly NOT peeved at you.
It IS interesting how differently people view what they need to make them happy in their home/community. The idea of living 20 minutes away from the grocery and restaurants and not being able to see another home from my front yard is MY idea of hell. Obviously, there are many many people who would disagree.
When older people buy 2 story houses with no full bathroom and a bedroom on the ground floor, I shake my head at their lack of foresight. When I was in my 30's that is exactly what I wanted.
You don't need to bow out HatchChile. I am 56, turning 57 this year, but we had kids later, so I have one still in high school. Definitely not part of the 55+ neighborhood set yet, which is really more like 70/75+. I just do not see the appeal of those communities for myself, but certainly don't begrudge them for folks like the poster from San Francisco who wanted a pool with no kids. If you don't want to be around kids and want to be around a lot of folks who are your age peers then I think it can be great. Neither of those things are something I or my husband want. 55+ holds no appeal at all for me. I am under no illusions of what aging is like and I think 55+ is a social club, not a safety net.
I learned a lot as my parents' health declined. My mom lived in a one story ranch, but never had any problem with stairs until she could no longer live at home. She was pretty active, walking at least 3 miles a day, up until my dad had to go into a nursing home and then she spent most days at the nursing home visiting with him.
After my dad died and we saw the signs that my mom's cognition was deteriorating we got her in Carolina Meadows while she could still qualify for Independent Living. They have a very nice set up there with lots of active seniors. This was when my mom was 84 I think, something like that. She spent a year in Independent Living and then her dementia progressed to where she needed the on-site Assisted Living so we moved her over there. After a year there she needed to move to the on-site nursing facility. It was sooo nice to have her stay at Carolina Meadows the whole time and see the same on-site social workers and doctors. They knew her and knew when she needed to transition. CCRCs are NOT cheap. We sold her house to afford the downpayment. But having her at Carolina Meadows was wonderful and wasn't the nightmare that my dad's decline was being in and out of the hospital, rehab centers, getting transferred to whichever nursing home could take him. With the CCRC all of that (aside from the hospital) is on-site in one place. Carolina Meadows had great medical care, too, and really caring folks who worked there and I never once saw an employee who didn't look happy to work there which is more than I can say for the place my dad was.
My aunt lived in a senior living community until she got really sick with CDiff. She was in and out of the hospital and again had to settle for whatever nursing home could take her when she was discharged. Another aunt was in a similar situation, but she went to a CCRC and got way better care.
So yeah, I know what I am talking about for myself. If y'all like 55+ active adult communities you can have them, but they are not for me. I hope to have another 20-30 years before I have to think about moving into a place for older folks, but when I do I hope to move to a place that can take care of me completely.
We moved into a well rated, local, 55+ community 10 years ago. We were under 55 at the time, but most of the communities have a clause that a certain % can be under 55 as long as they have no kids living with them. Anywhoo...in the 10 years that we have been here we have definitely decided that this "lifestyle" is NOT for us. We'll be retiring in a couple of years and will be moving OUT of this retirement community. We don't see this as being a particularly "active" community and find it is definitely geared toward more of the 70+ age bracket.
Anyone toying with the idea of moving into a 55+ should take a look at the demographics of the community and the "lifestyle" offerings. There is really very little offered here that is of interest to us. Yes, the facilities are very nice but the offerings within the clubhouse are not our cup of tea. If I get one more promotional email for funeral planning I'm going to rip my hair out!! On top of that, this definitely has a feel going all the way back to middle school...you need to be one of the "cool kids" to feel welcomed. I hated that then and hate it now.
This is not to say that we have not met some lovely people here, our besties live two doors up the street and we have some other folks on our block that we just love as well. Friends are the only thing we will miss when we move. But they are not so thrilled here either so that may be a moot point if (and when) they decide they've had enough.
On top of all this, we are also not happy with living "under" an HOA. I know this issue is not specific to 55+ communities...but we have found that the neighbors in this community are a "tad more crotchety" and have more time on their hands to be disgruntled and act on that dissatisfaction. There was a huge brouhaha recently over yard displays...to the point that the HOA Board engaged our HOA Attorney to assist them in drafting new, more restrictive, design guidelines...all because a few residents were "offended"...sheesh, come on people...but I digress.
All this is to say...think carefully about what you want in "lifestyle" and don't fall prey to the marketing ploys of these developers. They will promise the world, be realistic about what you are looking for and what is meaningful to you. We thought this would be our last and "forever" home...not so much.
We moved into a well rated, local, 55+ community 10 years ago. We were under 55 at the time, but most of the communities have a clause that a certain % can be under 55 as long as they have no kids living with them. Anywhoo...in the 10 years that we have been here we have definitely decided that this "lifestyle" is NOT for us. We'll be retiring in a couple of years and will be moving OUT of this retirement community. We don't see this as being a particularly "active" community and find it is definitely geared toward more of the 70+ age bracket.
Anyone toying with the idea of moving into a 55+ should take a look at the demographics of the community and the "lifestyle" offerings. There is really very little offered here that is of interest to us. Yes, the facilities are very nice but the offerings within the clubhouse are not our cup of tea. If I get one more promotional email for funeral planning I'm going to rip my hair out!! On top of that, this definitely has a feel going all the way back to middle school...you need to be one of the "cool kids" to feel welcomed. I hated that then and hate it now.
This is not to say that we have not met some lovely people here, our besties live two doors up the street and we have some other folks on our block that we just love as well. Friends are the only thing we will miss when we move. But they are not so thrilled here either so that may be a moot point if (and when) they decide they've had enough.
On top of all this, we are also not happy with living "under" an HOA. I know this issue is not specific to 55+ communities...but we have found that the neighbors in this community are a "tad more crotchety" and have more time on their hands to be disgruntled and act on that dissatisfaction. There was a huge brouhaha recently over yard displays...to the point that the HOA Board engaged our HOA Attorney to assist them in drafting new, more restrictive, design guidelines...all because a few residents were "offended"...sheesh, come on people...but I digress.
All this is to say...think carefully about what you want in "lifestyle" and don't fall prey to the marketing ploys of these developers. They will promise the world, be realistic about what you are looking for and what is meaningful to you. We thought this would be our last and "forever" home...not so much.
Great post! Do we know each other? We used to live in Carolina Arbors but left at retirement, just as you mentioned you plan to do.
You don't need to bow out HatchChile. I am 56, turning 57 this year, but we had kids later, so I have one still in high school. Definitely not part of the 55+ neighborhood set yet, which is really more like 70/75+. I just do not see the appeal of those communities for myself, but certainly don't begrudge them for folks like the poster from San Francisco who wanted a pool with no kids. If you don't want to be around kids and want to be around a lot of folks who are your age peers then I think it can be great. Neither of those things are something I or my husband want. 55+ holds no appeal at all for me. I am under no illusions of what aging is like and I think 55+ is a social club, not a safety net....
.....So yeah, I know what I am talking about for myself. If y'all like 55+ active adult communities you can have them, but they are not for me. I hope to have another 20-30 years before I have to think about moving into a place for older folks, but when I do I hope to move to a place that can take care of me completely.
We're literally right there with you, both in terms of age and opinion regarding 55+ communities. The original appeal of retirement communities was that it afforded you conveniences that allowed you to remain independent much later into your life, in terms of transportation and services. But in 2021 we have planned communities that offer much of the same, but with a way more diverse population and a more reasonable price tag. And with self-driving cars rapidly making inroads into every day life, true independence can be had no matter where you live. Combine that with myriad delivery services bringing food and supplies directly to our doors, and there's no reason to live any one place to gain independence.
Quote:
Originally Posted by milliehubbard
Well can't help myself from chiming in on this.
We moved into a well rated, local, 55+ community 10 years ago. We were under 55 at the time, but most of the communities have a clause that a certain % can be under 55 as long as they have no kids living with them. Anywhoo...in the 10 years that we have been here we have definitely decided that this "lifestyle" is NOT for us. We'll be retiring in a couple of years and will be moving OUT of this retirement community. We don't see this as being a particularly "active" community and find it is definitely geared toward more of the 70+ age bracket.
Anyone toying with the idea of moving into a 55+ should take a look at the demographics of the community and the "lifestyle" offerings. There is really very little offered here that is of interest to us. Yes, the facilities are very nice but the offerings within the clubhouse are not our cup of tea. If I get one more promotional email for funeral planning I'm going to rip my hair out!! On top of that, this definitely has a feel going all the way back to middle school...you need to be one of the "cool kids" to feel welcomed. I hated that then and hate it now.
This is not to say that we have not met some lovely people here, our besties live two doors up the street and we have some other folks on our block that we just love as well. Friends are the only thing we will miss when we move. But they are not so thrilled here either so that may be a moot point if (and when) they decide they've had enough.
On top of all this, we are also not happy with living "under" an HOA. I know this issue is not specific to 55+ communities...but we have found that the neighbors in this community are a "tad more crotchety" and have more time on their hands to be disgruntled and act on that dissatisfaction. There was a huge brouhaha recently over yard displays...to the point that the HOA Board engaged our HOA Attorney to assist them in drafting new, more restrictive, design guidelines...all because a few residents were "offended"...sheesh, come on people...but I digress.
All this is to say...think carefully about what you want in "lifestyle" and don't fall prey to the marketing ploys of these developers. They will promise the world, be realistic about what you are looking for and what is meaningful to you. We thought this would be our last and "forever" home...not so much.
My mother spent her last quarter century living in a retirement community and it was super stressful from the outside looking in. The social dynamics are exactly like what I remember from High School in terms of cliques and social dynamics. And there was rampant materialism on display in terms of people proving they had more money than everyone else. Some people only dined out for dinner while others couldn't afford it, and that would completely shape who their friends were. Plus, because of the forced age range there were people being carted off to hospitals or dying just about daily, and that was just soul-crushingly depressing to witness.
I completely get why having a first-floor master is key as we age (we now have that) and not living so remote that it's difficult for friends and family to check in regularly (we're in the most convenient location imaginable in the Triangle, literally right off 540 and only 12-15 minutes from downtown Raleigh). And I think it's important to live in a community that matches your personality. We feel comfortable with people our children's age (early/mid 20's) and people old enough to be our parents (75+) and in our new community have that as well. We're not forced to deal with only older people, can find friendships that fit regardless of age and enjoy independent living indefinitely. Let old people move into retirement communities, that's not us.
I don't think the OP has been back to comment since they first posted. OP- are you still here?
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