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This is what I've learned in my life about giving advice:
When someone asks you, "Should I or shouldn't I?" about a MAJOR life decision, the answer is always "NO!"
Why is that? It's because if someone is asking that question, they simply are not the least bit ready to say, "Yes."
Should I get married?
Should I move?
Should I have a baby?
If someone asks you those questions, the answer should always be, "No" because they are not ready to get married, move, or have a baby. Period.
If they want more information, that's another story.
If the decision is a struggle for you, it means you just aren't ready to say, "Yes."
In order to be successful in any of those areas, you must first make a firm and confident decision -- one that you believe in wholeheartedly.
You can and should gather information in order to weigh your decision. But once you make the decision, you will know for yourself if it is right or wrong, because you will be confident in it, and you will have absolutely no need to ask anyone, "Should I or shouldn't I?"
You hit the nail on the head! I'm from NJ and moved here 4 years ago. We did it for many reasons : cost of living, people, crappy commutes, weather etc. and yes we had our doubts but my husband and I did a ton of research... things like you are doing - trying to get feedback from people and we also came down for a couple of days. We loved what was here and yes I miss my family but not enough to go back to hell commute I had. You guys have a good situation overall but having that extra cash flow always helps. NJ and NY have horrible property taxes and coupled with high house prices it has been nice to only pay $1600 a year instead of 5k a year!
You have to be honest with yourself and be sure you are ok being 8-10 hours from family. Plus, at least for me... once you are here...you have to remember you made the move...family may or may not come down that much. We see them about twice a year. I've heard from others as well...out of sight out of mind. No, we are not out of the picture... but have the phone calls dropped a bit, yup....and my "good friend" has yet to get down here once to visit. Does it bug me ... at times but again we decided to move and you need to be ok with friends and family possibly not visting much or at all. Good luck!
I havent read all the posts but I will tell you this......we just moved from long island in January......lived all our lives there in the same town......husband also just retired from NYPD.......
Yes we wanted to live financially easier.....we bought a beautiful home here...brand new 2700 sq ft....we sold a completely redone 50 year old home there.......
We did not move 500 plus miles away to have the same.....you're not going to find that.....yes we have a few neighbors from long island and new jersy, boston and so on.....
If you really think that you are ready for the move can handle the distance from loved ones and are ready to make a change then take the time and trips down to make sure.....If you know that you'll financially be in a better situation but be miserable its not worth it....
Hubby could have gotten another job on long island also but we new we wanted out for many reasons, better life for our children, new surroundings, weather/climate, and many more....we were ok with the distance and are thrilled with our choice......we absolutely love it and wish we could have made the move sooner.....as for the schools we are in Johnston cnty Clayton and are extrememly happy with the schools......we came from a town that was "wanted" and I will say this....the schools here are 10x better.......but we also chose here because we didnt want the redistricting.........
Its a hard thing to move so far away but if you research it and get all the information then you may be very happy....some have done the same and not so happy......Just make sure its the right fit.....good luck with your decision...
I moved from Long Island 3 years ago, never looked back. You can always visit or have family visit you here, a very good excuse to get away. I make it up to NY at least 2x a year. If your husband has a set pension, you will know exactly what you can afford as far as a home. As far as all the other expenses, they are pretty much the same here, food, clothing, eating out, shopping, etc. You will see some savings on property taxes {depending on town/area}, car insurance and your electric bill, that's about it in my opinion.
Seems like some of the "usual suspects" weighing in on this, but let me go way outside the box here and say that you should indeed move. I am a Southerner married to a woman from LI, whose whole family (and more and more of their LI neighborhood) is retired from the State of NY and living here and/or the coast, and of that set of 20+ people I have in many years never heard one of them regret coming here. The only negative I see in this is how badly this must be hurting the State of NY; it seems like everybody who retires from NY State takes their "retirement dollars" to another state. We did a calculation several years ago and figured out that my wife's father has made significantly more money from NY AFTER retirement than he made during his "real" employment with them; they can't go on writing these levels of checks forever; can they?
Seems like some of the "usual suspects" weighing in on this, but let me go way outside the box here and say that you should indeed move. I am a Southerner married to a woman from LI, whose whole family (and more and more of their LI neighborhood) is retired from the State of NY and living here and/or the coast, and of that set of 20+ people I have in many years never heard one of them regret coming here. The only negative I see in this is how badly this must be hurting the State of NY; it seems like everybody who retires from NY State takes their "retirement dollars" to another state. We did a calculation several years ago and figured out that my wife's father has made significantly more money from NY AFTER retirement than he made during his "real" employment with them; they can't go on writing these levels of checks forever; can they?
Unfortunately, your family is making it more difficult to live in New York. The high cost of retired pensions is one of the factors that has caused high taxes in New York. A lot of the defined pension plans that existed 10-20 years ago are no long in place, but this has done little to lighten the load of paying a pension for 40 years on a guy that retires after 20 years of service. Nothing against your family though, they did the work and NY agreed to the terms.
The town of Southampton put out a report in a local paper about five years back that calculated that they pay about 500k per year in pension/retirement benefits for every cop on the force. This is a huge problem that will eventually cripple NY. It could also cripple your family eventually, because they are starting to hit the limit on how much they can really tax NYers.
My husband my daughter and i moved down here 2 years ago from long island- sold our house quit our jobs ,and came down here found an apt then found jobs ..6 months later bought a house in holly springs . I lived in ny ( long island )my whole life 47 years but, have to tell you it was the best thing we ever did ...never thought we would ever be this happy down here!!! The other person was right in saying its a way of life...its so different then the rat race of li and the 'keeping up with the jones' so to speak - and there are plenty of people from all over down here,and the southerners i found are very welcoming:-) i hope that helps you some...
My opinion: For emotional reasons, no, no, no, do not come down here. You will not be happy. The biggest difference in cost of living is that here, as you mentioned, houses are far less expensive than your area. But you won't be happy in a home if you're missing your friends and relatives and all that NYC has to offer.
Refreshing wisdom here. Bottom line: weigh all the pros and cons and don't allow yourself to be blinded by the greed of more house for the money. That, along with traffic, etc etc is all changing quickly with the massive "immigration" to this area in recent years. If you're looking for a place for the long haul, these are things to consider. And if you come down here w/o a job, IMO you're really "asking for it." Best of luck to you whatever you decide.
I am not an expert on this (or any other) topic. However, I think that what Joey is saying is worth thinking about. Unless there is some specific reason to move to Raleigh, why not look at some other places that may be just as nice but have not been "discovered" yet (Wilson, Winston Salem, Greensboro, etc). The Raleigh area is stressed to the max right now by the influx of newcomers. In saying this I mean nothing personal at all, most are good people; it's just a question of overpopulation relative to the carrying capacity of the area -- water, schools, roads, air quality. In my opinion, this is causing a real hit on our way of life. The long-term future of Raleigh does not appear to be all that great to me.
If the original post-er enjoys everything that NYC has to offer, smaller towns such as Wilson, Winston-Salem, Greensboro, etc., would not fit the bill whatsoever, I don't think.
She would miss all her friends and relatives AND all the activities of bigger-city life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hamish Forbes
I am not an expert on this (or any other) topic. However, I think that what Joey is saying is worth thinking about. Unless there is some specific reason to move to Raleigh, why not look at some other places that may be just as nice but have not been "discovered" yet (Wilson, Winston Salem, Greensboro, etc). The Raleigh area is stressed to the max right now by the influx of newcomers. In saying this I mean nothing personal at all, most are good people; it's just a question of overpopulation relative to the carrying capacity of the area -- water, schools, roads, air quality. In my opinion, this is causing a real hit on our way of life. The long-term future of Raleigh does not appear to be all that great to me.
My husband will also be retired NYPD at 38 yrs old soon. We are thinking about moving our family down from LI, but he is worried about what job he could get. Any suggestions?
I am a Sp Ed teacher. As far as moving a child with special needs I would suggest talking to other parents in the area with children in similar situations. Do your research, I believe there are good websites that connect parents. See if there is an advocate in the area you can get in touch with to go over your child's specific educational issues. Maybe you can make an appointment and speak with someone from the schools about your concerns and what they have to offer your child. This might determine where you will live. You might have to pay out of pocket for some services to supplement your child's needs so take that into consideration. Do your research so you can make an informed decision.
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