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I've lived in the Triangle for over a year and really miss my Calif friends. I just haven't had the opportunity to build relationships here, as I'm always working, but I'm hopeful that I will soon be able to socialize a little bit. I find the people here friendly. No problems there, but few people are willing to initialize anything, and I typically mesh best with people who are more extroverted and are "organizers"...simply because I'm not an organizer! Oh to have a shopping and lunch buddy again!
I will be moving to Raleigh at the end of the year with my boyfriend and dog knowing nobody.... maybe we should start a group from here and meet up ;-)))
I can also heartily recommend Meetup.com. It is HUGE here in the Triangle, and there are so many different types of groups, you will definitely find something you can join that you will enjoy!
If you don't have kids and are not particularly "itching" to have them, try Raleigh No Kidding, a very friendly group for non-parents. They have monthly Happy Hours, book groups, nature walks, and lots of various events. And, you can be guaranteed that nobody will bore you with talk about potty training, school reassignments, or Spongebob Squarepants!
One is for the mutter mit kleinkinder, so you wouldn't need that. At least not right now.
You could start one for the mutter of hunds.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Samira1974
I will be moving to Raleigh at the end of the year with my boyfriend and dog knowing nobody.... maybe we should start a group from here and meet up ;-)))
I was sure that this was all in my head: I have encountered more "fake friendly" people here than I ever have.
Ha! My fiance and I were just discussing this topic the other night. We've been here 1.5 years (moved from S. FL) and most of our friends are mere acquaintances--none that we would consider good friends. We usually do a lot of "self-medicating" by ourselves downtown on the weekends, so it's tolerable for now..
For me, if they weren't college or childhood friends, the workplace is where I met the majority of my good friends. However, I guess I'm just unlucky as the people on my floor or on my team at work are not very friendly at all. There isn't even a clique, they all go to lunch by themselves or just eat at their desk. I can understand this behavior for newbies, but for people that have worked together for 5+ years it's a little odd to me--or is that the norm here?
I agree. It does depend on the group. When I've worked as an instructional designer with other instructional designers, we have gone to lunch as a group and maintained friendships long after the job assignment was over. That has been true here and up North.
I've also done different types of work than instructional design, and it seems like there is not such a team/friend mentality. In the last few years, the beyond-work friendships I've made have been with people from other places -- such as Buffalo or Philly.
It takes a whole lot more effort -- from both people -- to make and keep friends, it seems, than it has in the past. When someone else makes a conscious effort to maintain a friendship, I'm very happy about that. I have come to not expect it.
Strangely enough, one of my more-recent friends is from Minnesota, and it's 100 percent online; I've never met her. I can't even remember how exactly we "met." But we've gone through many similar family experiences, have similar perspectives on life (we're the same age), and we find the same things funny, so it's been a lot of fun communicating with her. I wish she lived here.
I have been living here in Raleigh now for 1 year! I do find it a bit hard to communicate with people here! I am from New Jersey, and it is totally different here. I did live here in the past but that was in Durham, now I am asking myself why did I even want to come back to this area. Maybe my reasons for moving were not thought out well enough. I have been single since my oldest son was 6 years old and he is now 11. I really need a social life! I don't think that sounds desperate of me, but it is the truth! Maybe, if Raleigh had just a little bit of flavor like at home I would feel a lot better. I would like to meet up with people at a place like Barnes and Noble, just to sit down and talk about life over coffee and a book. I don't know; I would just like to meet some nice, sane, intelligent people, maybe I am asking for too much! If there is anybody out there that would like to just meet up and have lunch( you pay for your lunch and I'll pay for my lunch, lol), get a book ( I need a good book anyway), maybe walk around the mall (window shop of course), just reply to this message. I swear I am not crazy, I am only trying be happy!! Thanks. Oh, by the way this is not for no hook up or nothing just strickly social time( got to make things clear, because it seems that is all people think about these days). Thanks
My husband and I moved here a little over 1 year ago and we talk about this all the time. He has finally realized that he has to make an effort to build relationships. He has had the same friends since elementary school and when faced with making new friends he was not willing to take the steps.
Our pastor talked about this in church once. Friends can be put in 3 categories; energy drink friends, coffee friends and surf & turf friends.
Energy drink friends and coffee friends are those superficial friends that you have fun with but can’t sustain you over time. Surf & turf friends are the ones that take time to make and that will sustain you.
So with that said, we have found friends here. It took some work…because when things get busy, it’s easy to stay at home and rest…but you have to put forth the effort to reap the rewards.
Those friendships we had when we were in another state did not happen haphazardly and took time…it’s the same for here.
How did we find friends…through meetup.com
Did every person we meet become a friend…heck no! But we found some pretty cool people and are still working on our friendships.
Life…gotta love it!
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Germans in the Triangle
