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What area do you people live in that are having a hard time making friends?? I'm a 24 year old nurse and moving to Raleigh or Durham in September. I don't know a soul in NC so maybe we could be friends ??
"You WILL make friends thoughout your life, but the "fast and intense" way it happens in one's college years will never be recreated." - Francois
Gosh, I wish someone would've shared that nugget of wisdom with me six years ago when I relo'd to Dallas after getting married. After college, I moved to a new city and made tons of friends, but when I moved here it was awkard since I was no longer doing stuff I did when I was single. At any rate, it has been a learning experience and I've got a different perspective now. That will go a long way, if we relo. To the OP, if you're optimistic and take to heart some of the great advice you've gotten on this thread, I have no doubt you'll make some great friends. Best wishes to you!
here are 10 ways:
1. volunteer
2. go to a place of worship
3. BUNCO!
4. museums
5. shopping
6. farmers mkt
7. go to parks that are near your home- walk! talk! strike up conversations with people who are doing things you like to do!
8. go online- like you are now - and find out about "meetups"
9. Go to local networking events - like triangle connected
10. smile more - people will want to befriend you - and will be the ones following this list - wanting to meet - YOU !
and the bonuses
11. Take classes! Dance class, cooking class - whatever interests you - you will probably find like minded people there!
12. go to demonstration days - like williams-sonoma cooking classes -they're free, they're informative, and you can meet people there too!
Always carry some sort of card with you to say - hey, I'm new to the area. You're cool and someone I'd like to have coffee with (or whatever that you're comfortable with that doesn't sound like you are trying to pick up anyone) ... it leaves a lasting impression!
Believe it or not, it's harder to meet people when you are married with kids and move to a new place. We moved here when my son was 7 months old - and I didn't know anyone or anything about the triangle. We don't have any family around. It took a really, really long time - but now I wouldn't trade this area for anything. Do you like to play golf? That's a great way to meet people!
I'm glad to learn I wasn't the only one who had trouble finding friends after moving here. Having kids helps for sure. Kid play dates are also parent play dates.
What I've found is extending myself and offerring invitations to acquaintences is the best way to turn casual aquaintences into friends. Obviously many people are in the same boat and most would be happy to get to know someone better.
Also, if you spend time doing things you are passionate about, volunteering time to a charity, a museum, etc. participating in spots, etc. you'll be in the company of people you have something in common with.
Yes, it is exhausting. But if you look back at your "back home" friendships, you'll realize they most likely didn't happen overnight, either. Usually, you have some kind of shared history -- whether you're in the same neighborhood, same high school or college, or workplace.
It takes time to "build" that kind of history.
I have one friend I met at work, and after our work assignment ended, she took the initiative to keep the friendship going. So we keep up with each other by phone and email and go out to lunch at least four times a year.
Through her determination to stay connected, she reminds me that sometimes you really do have to make an effort to grow a good friendship.
I know a couple in Cary who moved here the same year I did. They have a huge number of friends and connections, and I know it's because they really made an effort to make it happen.
This is sooo true...you cant expect to relocate to a new home and have what took you years to develop elsewhere ...here. Although obviously the more outgoing you are the more likely you'll fit in sooner...
Great suggestions here! I just have to say, I moved here from CT three years ago with my husband and what people say about the friendliness factor here is completely true! You can strike up a conversation with people so much easier here than in CT (at least where I lived).
One pointer regarding meetup.com - if you're looking to make friends with other women and you're single, your best bet is to join one of the many women's social meetups. It's true that the singles ones are really mixers (often the girls aren't as friendly because they're "on the prowl"). The advice to approach groups that are related to a hobby is very true also. Want to go out for cocktails with some girlfriends? Look up "cocktails"! Want to get coffee instead, look up "coffee"! Believe it or not, there are meetups for practically everything I love meetup and have made TONS of friends through the all the offline get-togethers - don't give up!
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I love meetup and have made TONS of friends through the all the offline get-togethers - don't give up!
Stating the Obvious....
