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It sounds to me like Joliefille gave the best advice. Chances are since you are new to the church he does not want to push any type of relationship. However, his kindness and compliments may be the SOP so you might want to get some more information from others on this guy before coming to any cut and dry conclusions.
Couple things to think about. You do not know this person at all, best not to say anything and when you get back you will know if he is interested by the spark he has seeing you. He could be gay. He could be studying to go into the priesthood....notice there are a lot of could haves here. You don't know him welll enough to say anything to him at this point.
Your OP suggested that you tell him you had a "family emergency" to explain your absence. I simply said that would not be honest. No where in the OP post did you tell us it was a serious surgery - so I assumed it was minor. OK, then say you are having surgery and will be good as new. If he presses you for details - simply say it's nothing to worry about and that it's just one of those things.
At this stage of your relationship, I do think you have a right to keep your "health issue" private. However, it's never a good idea to start a relationship (friendship or otherwise) with a lie or any other name for dishonesty. Telling him you have a "family emergency" will lead anyone to think the "emergency" is about someone else in your family. Planning to be absent from church for 6 weeks due to an "emergency" would not be a plausable tall tale as emergencies are seldom planned and it's not common to know the duration of an emergency. If I were in his shoes and you were to explain your absence due to a "family emergency", I would sell a rat but would not press the point.
My point to you is to be honest. Keep your privacy but don't lie, fib, or mislead. Where ever this intrest goes (romantic relationship or just friendship) you want to start off on the right foot - honest, forthcoming and positive.
Best wishes.
It has been a few months and he hasn't made any move to get to know you outside of church?
I wouldn't bother. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but if he was interested in you, he would have asked for your phone number by now.
On the plus side, if by some chance he is interested in you, maybe your absence will shake him out of his complacency and he'll do something about his interest when you get back.
LOL! Our chuch really does not subscribe to the "worldly" dating standards, so I would not accept to meet him outside of church after only 2 months....at least not one on one.
First of all, I don't attend church "looking for a date". However, If a man shows interest, and I've had a period of time to observe his character, I would be inclined to accept an invitation, in a "group" setting as opposed to a one-on-one right off.
That's just not the way we date in our denomination.
However, my religion is not the topic of this thread.
Last edited by Atlanta Georgia Peach; 07-12-2010 at 11:31 AM..
Couple things to think about. You do not know this person at all, best not to say anything and when you get back you will know if he is interested by the spark he has seeing you. He could be gay. He could be studying to go into the priesthood....notice there are a lot of could haves here. You don't know him welll enough to say anything to him at this point.
Plus, I don't know any man who wants his first other-than-superficial conversation with a woman to be a negative one about an "emergency" or her health.
And who is to say this man is even forthright? Plenty of hypocrites in churches these days, never mind that it simply is none of his business.
OP, do what your gut tells you to do. I don't know your church or religion. It would just seem creepy to me if I were in that situation and a man I barely knew came up to me and told me of his forthcoming absence. I would wonder why he was presuming it would be important to me, an acquaintance at best. It would put me off to think he had more invested in me than the situation warrants.
Your OP suggested that you tell him you had a "family emergency" to explain your absence. I simply said that would not be honest. No where in the OP post did you tell us it was a serious surgery - so I assumed it was minor. OK, then say you are having surgery and will be good as new. If he presses you for details - simply say it's nothing to worry about and that it's just one of those things.
At this stage of your relationship, I do think you have a right to keep your "health issue" private. However, it's never a good idea to start a relationship (friendship or otherwise) with a lie or any other name for dishonesty. Telling him you have a "family emergency" will lead anyone to think the "emergency" is about someone else in your family. Planning to be absent from church for 6 weeks due to an "emergency" would not be a plausable tall tale as emergencies are seldom planned and it's not common to know the duration of an emergency. If I were in his shoes and you were to explain your absence due to a "family emergency", I would sell a rat but would not press the point.
My point to you is to be honest. Keep your privacy but don't lie, fib, or mislead. Where ever this intrest goes (romantic relationship or just friendship) you want to start off on the right foot - honest, forthcoming and positive.
Best wishes.
Plus, I don't know any man who wants his first other-than-superficial conversation with a woman to be a negative one about an "emergency" or her health.
And who is to say this man is even forthright? Plenty of hypocrites in churches these days, never mind that it simply is none of his business.
Exactly why observing character longer than 2 months, is my constitution.
OP, do what your gut tells you to do. I don't know your church or religion. It would just seem creepy to me if I were in that situation and a man I barely knew came up to me and told me of his forthcoming absence. I would wonder why he was presuming it would be important to me, an acquaintance at best. It would put me off to think he had more invested in me than the situation warrants.
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