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We've been talking for the past few weeks and I think we've come to the conclusion that the best thing may be if she moves into my house. Right now she lives in an apartment but stays with me quite often anyway. We eventually plan on getting married and figure if we live together for a while, we might be better off in the long run. I also think it may help her financial situation as she doesn't make much and a good chunk of her income goes to apartment rent.
I figure living together may be a good option as this point in our relationship where we will eventually get married but would like to live with each other for a while to see each others patterns. Obviously staying the night with someone and living with someone are two completely different things.
What do you folks think, is living with your boyfriend/girlfriend a good move if you eventually plan on getting married? Opinions? Suggestions?
If you're eventually going to get married and you know you're going to get married, why not just do it now instead of waiting. What would the difference be?
Basically what you're doing is trying to jusify the 2 of you moving in together. Do you feel guilty about it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SpeedyAZ
We've been talking for the past few weeks and I think we've come to the conclusion that the best thing may be if she moves into my house. Right now she lives in an apartment but stays with me quite often anyway. We eventually plan on getting married and figure if we live together for a while, we might be better off in the long run. I also think it may help her financial situation as she doesn't make much and a good chunk of her income goes to apartment rent.
I figure living together may be a good option as this point in our relationship where we will eventually get married but would like to live with each other for a while to see each others patterns. Obviously staying the night with someone and living with someone are two completely different things.
What do you folks think, is living with your boyfriend/girlfriend a good move if you eventually plan on getting married? Opinions? Suggestions?
SO and I have been cohabiting since 2007, through a shared apartment, a shared rental house, and a home we purchased together last fall. We have talked marriage practically since we first started seriously dating, but there's no ticking clock on it or anything. It works for us. I don't imagine a ton will change within our shared household when/if we get married, apart from a name change for me, a difference in tax issues, and various spousal benefit access.
I think some people use cohabiting to appease a partner who wants to get married when they're not sure they want to get married. There are also those people who tend to fall back on the old "cow-milk" analogy. For us, there are places we'd be common law by now, anyway, although this state does not recognize common law marriages.
I would recommend only having your GF move in if you're sold on sharing a household with her, and feel that emotionally intimate. It's not something to do for convenience alone, or if it's just because it would be more cost-effective for her to not be paying rent on her own (if that's the major reason, I'd advocate for her just getting a roommate, instead. i strongly recommend against living with an SO if you're not foreseeing a serious, long-term relationship. In my case, I was asked by my boyfriend if I'd like to move in. I never would have suggested it, myself, and I weighed my decision carefully. Had I not thought he was serious about me, I'd have remained in my own place.
I don't know what to tell you without any info about you two. Are you 18 yr old pot smokers/drinkers who party around the clock or at least 25 yrs old and reasonably mature and responsible for yourselves? I need to know who I'm dealing with to give a reasonable opinion.
We've been talking for the past few weeks and I think we've come to the conclusion that the best thing may be if she moves into my house. Right now she lives in an apartment but stays with me quite often anyway. We eventually plan on getting married and figure if we live together for a while, we might be better off in the long run. I also think it may help her financial situation as she doesn't make much and a good chunk of her income goes to apartment rent.
I figure living together may be a good option as this point in our relationship where we will eventually get married but would like to live with each other for a while to see each others patterns. Obviously staying the night with someone and living with someone are two completely different things.
What do you folks think, is living with your boyfriend/girlfriend a good move if you eventually plan on getting married? Opinions? Suggestions?
It worked with us but it is not a gauranteed indicator of compatability or longevity.
Under no circumstances should you allow your girlfriend to move in with you . Do not do it. I would only suggest it when you OFFICIALLY get engaged. DO NOT LET HER MOVE IN BEFORE THAT.
Her saving money on rent or her being there most of the time is NOT justification for her to move in. I would not do it if I were you.
Living together before marriage doesn't necessarily increase the risk of divorce, but those who get engaged or married before cohabiting have a slight edge, according to a just-released national study.
You will find all kinds of statistics stating living together both increases your risk of divorce and makes no difference at all.
I think it depends on what you both want out of your relationship. If you eventually desire marriage and children then why not just get married now? If not then cohabitation is a perfectly viable option.
Under no circumstances should you allow your girlfriend to move in with you . Do not do it. I would only suggest it when you OFFICIALLY get engaged. DO NOT LET HER MOVE IN BEFORE THAT.
Her saving money on rent or her being there most of the time is NOT justification for her to move in. I would not do it if I were you.
^^^^This.
Also, my wasband and I didn't get an apartment together until after we got engaged and look how that turned out, anyway.
It's no guarantee one way or the other, and saving money is not a good reason to live together.
Last edited by Yzette; 07-30-2010 at 08:13 PM..
Reason: can't type for beans tonight
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