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You're not crazy. You've been conditioned to expect the worst from relationships. Hesitant to embrace the good because you're afraid the rug is going to be pulled out from under you. Pessimism has now taken hold of you. All I can say is, in the end the pessimist may be right more often, but the optimist will have a better time on the journey. Enjoy the good while it's good.
I got out of a bad relationship a few months ago. ( We actually were through back in December but I tried to work it out as much as I could...and it backfired on me ). My marriage was full of drama, abuse ( mental, emotional and physical ). I was treated very poorly by my ex.
Now I am with someone new. We're taking it VERY slow. I've known him for almost 5 years and we didn't date back in the day because of our jobs kept us in separate continents. He was stationed in Korea and I was back in Arizona.
He is very respectful, caring...He spoils me a lot and we just get each other. I am extremely comfortable around him and so is he. We are friends first.
Thing is there is NO drama in this relationship. We have very good communication and I am not afraid to speak my mind.
Why does it feel weird not having any drama in BS? Why does it feel like there is something missing? I hated all the crap I went through with my ex but now I have this weird feeling sometimes that this is too good to be true and I should be expecting things to go downhill at any given moment - even though deep down I doubt they will.
Am I crazy? I think I might need therapy. I am with someone who treats me like I deserve for once and I am kind of weirded out. I wonder if it has anything to do with the abuse I went through.
AC, you could very possibly be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You could talk to someone at VA.
Usually when I see people struggling with this, it is due to self esteem issues and thinking they are not good enough. Essentially all they have had is negative reinforcement and it's a continued self depreciating cycle. Women are terrible about this and they bounce from one crappy relationship to another and the weak men involved never have any incentive to behave properly either.
Therapy I think is a horrible word as it implies that you have something wrong with you. I'd rather see the positive and say you really need counseling with an outside 3rd party.
In addition another mistake people make is having to be in a relationship. Sometimes we need breaks and sometimes you need to work at building up the good things about yourself rather than looking to others to fix all that for you and "make you happy". Only you can make yourself happy.
Drama? Well I think all women have a drama gauge and always look to keep it pegged at full. They can't help themselves and will start fights over a glass being on the table or forgetting to take the trash out. It's a little mental tic they have and I think much of it is a subconscious desire to use emotional manipulation to keep men in "committed" relationships. Women that crave drama really need to look at why and maybe consider peace and quiet is better than getting your ass kicked or having another screaming tirade.
I got out of a bad relationship a few months ago. ( We actually were through back in December but I tried to work it out as much as I could...and it backfired on me ). My marriage was full of drama, abuse ( mental, emotional and physical ). I was treated very poorly by my ex.
Now I am with someone new. We're taking it VERY slow. I've known him for almost 5 years and we didn't date back in the day because of our jobs kept us in separate continents. He was stationed in Korea and I was back in Arizona.
He is very respectful, caring...He spoils me a lot and we just get each other. I am extremely comfortable around him and so is he. We are friends first.
Thing is there is NO drama in this relationship. We have very good communication and I am not afraid to speak my mind.
Why does it feel weird not having any drama in BS? Why does it feel like there is something missing? I hated all the crap I went through with my ex but now I have this weird feeling sometimes that this is too good to be true and I should be expecting things to go downhill at any given moment - even though deep down I doubt they will.
Am I crazy? I think I might need therapy. I am with someone who treats me like I deserve for once and I am kind of weirded out. I wonder if it has anything to do with the abuse I went through.
Nah, you're not crazy. You have been conditioned to believe that all relationships are full of drama based on the life you lived with your ex. You probably have days where you find yourself mentally preparing for drama but, just learn to relax a bit and enjoy what you have with your new guy. Don't mistake relaxing with complacency either though. It sounds like this could lead to something really nice so just take it slow and see what each day brings and learn gradually to let the past go. This guy isn't your ex and unless he gives you reason to ever make you feel that way, just enjoy.
Some very good advice offered here; although I disagree with the post regarding women keeping their drama gauges pegged at full........ (Not all of us!).
My first thought was that maybe you're looking for excitement as opposed to drama. I am at such a comfortable place in my long relationship that it is boring. Friends with each other, sure that's good. But we're too friendly if that's possible.
First of all, given what you've been through, I can totally understand your wondering when the other shoe will drop. That's only natural. To you, reality and relationships have this drama in them, and you're unconsciously waiting for the 'too good to be true' to fall apart.
Second of all, you probably have some component of PTSD that is making you more edgy than you would normally be in this happy, drama-free environment.
It may be worth discussing in counseling if you find you can't relax and just enjoy what you have now.
Drama? Well I think all women have a drama gauge and always look to keep it pegged at full. They can't help themselves and will start fights over a glass being on the table or forgetting to take the trash out. It's a little mental tic they have and I think much of it is a subconscious desire to use emotional manipulation to keep men in "committed" relationships. Women that crave drama really need to look at why and maybe consider peace and quiet is better than getting your ass kicked or having another screaming tirade.
Gimme a break. Neither my partner nor I will tolerate one second of drama in our relationship. Nor are either of us stupid enough to be manipulated.
Women can love being drama-free...I know several. We'll just get our drama from watching Real Housewives or something.
Gimme a break. Neither my partner nor I will tolerate one second of drama in our relationship. Nor are either of us stupid enough to be manipulated.
Women can love being drama-free...I know several. We'll just get our drama from watching Real Housewives or something.
I am one of those women!!! (love being drama free) as is my daughter and a girl pal of mine - all lead very drama free lives and stay far away from it!
Why does it feel weird not having any drama in BS? Why does it feel like there is something missing? I hated all the crap I went through with my ex but now I have this weird feeling sometimes that this is too good to be true and I should be expecting things to go downhill at any given moment - even though deep down I doubt they will.
Am I crazy? I think I might need therapy. I am with someone who treats me like I deserve for once and I am kind of weirded out. I wonder if it has anything to do with the abuse I went through.
You aren't crazy at all, and it is great that you recognize this feeling of missing something in the relationship.
In my opinion you clearly need to go and talk to a therapist pronto, and find out what you think is a void in this relationship, and more importantly WHY the feeling is there.
Something is going on inside of your head that can ultimately become self destructive.
Not better understanding this feeling may lead to problems a couple of years from now, when you find a stronger need to "scratch this itch".
Better understanding it, and why you have it, will go a LONG WAY towards improving your long term happiness, and enhance success in your relationship(s).
Thing is there is NO drama in this relationship. We have very good communication and I am not afraid to speak my mind.
Why does it feel weird not having any drama in BS? Why does it feel like there is something missing?
i feel very strongly that for some folks, conflict, or chaos, or drama feels normal. "Getting along" with those they're closest to feels weird to them, I assume because their experience is just limited to certain types of relationships.
i know many people like this, and your situation does not sound crazy or unusual.
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(Not all of us!). 
