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Actually, getting legally married has huge benefits. And I'm not talking about the sentimental aspects, but in terms of cold hard cash. Not to mention legal rights; the one that always gets me is that if your boyfriend/girlfriend is ever hospitalized, you are not next of kin, you have no rights to know what's going on etc. You have to be legally married.
no fault laws and credit/debt laws, pretty much killed the benefits of marriage for breadwinners.
you can assume somebody elses debt and lose all your assets pretty fast thru a bad marriage.
I believe that marriage benefits men much more so than women. But even so, I feel that the support and commitment found in healthy marriages increases quality of life for both sexes. Married couples enjoy better health, more money and more satisfying sex.
Married couples are generally more financially well off. And that has a way of trickling down into better medical care, better food and other things that raise the standard of living and reduce stress.
A National Health and Social Life survey reported that married men have sex twice as frequently as most of the single men surveyed, and the married men reported higher levels of satisfaction with their sex lives than either single or cohabitating men. The report attributed this to the investment in "skills" their spouse acquired to please them.
The same study showed that women's sexual satisfaction was not altered by their marital status. Women get fewer benefits from marriage, in my opinion. They often suffer a wage loss, particularly after children, and tend to be burdened with more housework, child rearing responsibilities, and drudgery.
That doesn't hold true for me personally. Our sex life is great, both our careers are at their peak, and we share domestic chores. So I have no complaints.
well you could be right, but nobody but nobody i know fits the survey you have described-- maybe 50 years ago, but not now.
if this is true, why is marriage down 50% and 43% of people over 18 are single?
What are the benefits of marriage? Regular sex? Children? You can get both without being married.
You can get anything that a marriage has to offer with out being married.. to include the nasty attitudes from your partner.
Seriously, these days.. it is pretty much certain that marriage is a dead end to no where. I think the real question would be.. why get married ? And for what reason? Most of the benefits to marriage you can get outside of marriage... other then the fringe benefits.. what are you looking for? I have seen people married for 50 years.. and have been pretty much alone anyways.. She is in the bedroom watching TV and he is in the den smoking a pipe and reading the newspaper... togetherness? Hmmm.. longshot ... the "perfect" couple is so FAR and FEW in between that is it willing to gamble on wether you are the next person to get that "someone" special in your life?
Yeah I am very negative on marriage.. and not gung ho on trying to hook up with anyone again.. The prospects out on the street are so dang slim.. that I dont even look for anyone anymore..
I have to disagree boodhabunny.Women benifit much more from marriage than men.Marriage provides women with options and security that men rarely get when in a marriage.It is socialy acceptable for women to,work part time,work full time or not work at all, regardless if they have kids or not.If men are not working 40+ hours a week they are considered lossers or deadbeats,even if they are not married.Marriage is basicly a sentence to the salt mines for men untill he drops dead.Unless of course he can find a young sugar mamma, but thats like finding a unicorn.
tired-of-mn -- Most married men today enjoy the lifestyle that a dual income household provides. Only a small percentage of men are the sole providers anymore.
In today's world, it looks like we are all working the salt mines together. But at least married men get more promotions and earn more. A lot more. The New York Times reported that married men earn anywhere from 10% to 50% more than unmarried men.
It doesn't help as many as divorce does; hence, the war on it.
That's why I included lawyers, dear.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MattB4
Hmm.. In tough economic times than marriage is good for producing jobs. Need to inform the politicians. Perhaps a stimulus package is in order?
Wellllllll...seeing what effect the other stimulus package has had on the country, I'd be leery of that approach...
We might also remember that since this is traditionally such a Christian-based country, the concept of marriage is somewhat embedded in the collective psyche.
I can only answer this post from personal experience.
But from both sides of the fence as to the benefits of marriage and non benefits.
First marriage:
Divorce, lost a house I loved, bankruptcy, sold an antique truck, hearing my oldest son say "Daddy, why dont you live with us anymore?" at 5 years old. That broke my heart. The wife spending money on material things and partying instead of helping me build a life for us. Me not being able to trust her. And on and on. I did get custody of my 4 kids after the divorce and that was rare for the Dad to get custody 30 plus years ago.
Second marriage:
Someone who I have never doubted being faithfull. Raised my kids like they were her own. Worked with me to build a stable and lasting home. I have another house now we have been in for over 21 years that I love more than the other one. She has always been there through family deaths and sickness and is the first to respond when someone needs support. Isn't a material girl. Family and trust is what is important. She has become the foundation of our family. We've been together almost 30 yrs. It took almost 9 years to get my credit back to where we could buy a house. We rented some dumps in those early years but we knew together we could work toward a better future. We have grand chidren now. In fact, the latest one was just born 2 months ago. We raised 6 kids. My 4 and her 2 from a previous marriage. My kids call her Mom. They call their birth mother by her first name. Hers call me Dad. Their father was about as useless as my first wife. There ain't no "step children" in our family. We raised them. They know who was always there for them over the last almost 30 years. And sill are.
I never did get another antique truck, but I do have a 1949 Plymouth we take a drive in every weekend during the summer. Just the two of us. And at almost 64 yrs old I still ride a motorcycle. And sometimes we ride two up along a less traveled road and enjoy the sights and smells and fresh air. As long as we are together, that's all that counts.
Are there any benefits to marriage? Yes and no.
I sure like the last 30 years of the yes part though.
We will be together untill one of us passes. There is no doubt in my mind about that.
"Till death do us part", is just words easily spoken by anyone in a ceremony.
For those words to be true takes real love, conviction, and two people being soul mates. I was lucky enough to find that person the second time around.
I have no regrets.
well you could be right, but nobody but nobody i know fits the survey you have described-- maybe 50 years ago, but not now.
if this is true, why is marriage down 50% and 43% of people over 18 are single?
The data I've quoted is mostly from the University of Virginia "The State of Our Unions, Marriage in America 2009: Money and Marriage."
There is no doubt that the role of marriage is changing dramatically. It'll be interesting to see if it keeps declining at its current rate.
I would guess the decline is mostly due to people cohabitating as an alternative to marriage. But since those unions are statistically less successful, the people who do chose to marry are the happier and wealthier group.
As more and more people live together and have children outside of marriage, I wonder how that will impact the next generations. Besides marriage declining, the birth rate is also declining in the US and our society is no longer as child centered as it once was. More children will be born to single mothers, more child abuse, more neglect, more child-behavioral problems. Or perhaps the US will become more like Europe. Instead of fathers supporting their children, the government will.
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