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Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman
road,,for a grown man to punch a wall out of anger, isnt much different than a 3 yr old in his sandbox, that throws things(cause he doesnt get his own way),,he cant express himself very well, and has to be violent to get his point across.
and yes, i know couples that throw things at each other, and know friends that have "lost it" too many times,,,,and then he wonders why his teenage daughter is attracted to the bad-boy losers,,,,maybe its something she is use to or "normal"
MBM.. you made me think of something with that. My first post on this thread included a story about my own ex and our relationship and how his banging on that car's hood was the end of the rope for me.
His father was a alcoholic and used to beat him and his 2 brothers and the mother, yet my Ex has tears in his eyes when he thinks about his father. My ex drinks, although I have never seen him actually DRUNK. He'll fall asleep instead. His 2 brothers are both alcoholic and drug users and my Ex doesn't even want to know they exist BUT I have seen him stomp, slam doors and bite his own finger to a bleeding point and then the episode at Costco, plus he's a very offensive driver and don't let anybody cut him off. I was not raised in that kind of atmosphere and for me this kind of behavior was a "sign", to be watchful, no matter how good he is about everything else. He didn't act up frequently but when he did, it impressed me. He never punched a hole in my walls but almost the same meaning behind the actions.
My point.....your upbringing and what you have been exposed to MUST be a factor in your behavior later in life. Some of the stuff may be in the subconscious until that one day......
My point.....your upbringing and what you have been exposed to MUST be a factor in your behavior later in life. Some of the stuff may be in the subconscious until that one day......
What do you think?
Oh girrrrrl, now we gett'n deep.
(I have no idea where the ghetto accent came from, but I couldn't refrain.)
I'm not saying it's ok, it could be he's mad at someone or himself, it could be he's doing it because he is trying to show how serious he is and nobody is listening, All I'm saying is just because he punched the wall doesn't mean he wants to hit her. It's wrong to punch walls or throw things but people do it all the time, it's very childish but nobody knows how he feels except himself, his wife seems to have no clue why he acted that way, she may not be listening to him when he needs it the most. It just bothers me to see people advise on divorce or to say he's a abuser on what the OP said. It's just my opinion, I honestly wish them both the best of luck.
I think what makes me take it as abusive is that it is scary and seems like a deliberate attempt at intimidation. Maybe this is something you have to be on the other end of to understand... but someone who is twice your size and strength freaking out like that is very scary. I couldn't stop shaking for a month when a guy I was dating punched a hole in the DOOR of my apartment. Needless to say I called the cops and quit taking his calls but it really scared the donuts out of me. I swear I was jumpy for a month and it takes a lot to get me jumpy!
I'm not saying Pixie should get a divorce, she has to do what is right for her and her family and Moon is right, only she knows what that is. I just think violent outbursts have to be taken seriously and my main point is that it doesn't matter what SHE did or what his "problems" are, there is no excuse for that kind of REPEATED behavior. I just hope she is safe.
I bet Pixie is really regretting sharing something so personal here since people, pretty much strangers who don't know her or her husband, are now going into overdrive analyzing her life and her situation, and also judging (and in some cases, convicting) her husband. I wonder if that's why she's been silent.
I bet Pixie is really regretting sharing something so personal here since people, pretty much strangers who don't know her or her husband, are now going into overdrive analyzing her life and her situation, and also judging (and in some cases, convicting) her husband. I wonder if that's why she's been silent.
I'm thinking the same thing, I've pretty much said all I could and probably more than I should have. I hope it works out either way it goes.
I bet Pixie is really regretting sharing something so personal here since people, pretty much strangers who don't know her or her husband, are now going into overdrive analyzing her life and her situation, and also judging (and in some cases, convicting) her husband. I wonder if that's why she's been silent.
tao, thats a fair statement, however, often one doesnt see the forest from the trees, and its difficult to talk to real life friends and family, when this happens, because they never forget, or they make a judgement on past bias's. and even if the two make ammends, friends and family never forget, what you told them, and they may even spread it around.
this may be a public forum, but because of anonymity, most are more than honest on here, we dont have the bias of knowing either one, just relate to our experiences, and what we believe may be normal or abnormal behavior
we may give advice,,it doesnt have to be taken, however, sometimes advice, from others, that dont personally know the people, is twice as objective, and a breath of fresh air.
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I hope it works out either way it goes.
