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I have come to the decision that while this guy strongly suggests he wants a commitment from me, he's not going to get it it as of yet. I simply don't know him well enough and see no reason to rush into things with someone so quickly. Not that I'm dating around much, because I'm more of a one-at-a-time type anyway. I see no need to explicitly bring it up either, but will give a straight answer if I'm asked again.
Onglet - I think you are wise to not rush into exclusivity until you are ready. You obviously take your commitments seriously and it makes sense to me that you'd want to get to know the person well.
The purpose of exclusivity seems mainly about sex, so until you feel ready for intimacy, I don't see the point in being exclusive.
TKramer - Does your exclusivity requirement begin the moment she agrees to go on a date with you? Or does exclusivity begin during or after the first date?
It begins from the moment she asks me. During the date I tell her about the exclusivity thing, telling her that I would respect her too much to be dating other people simultaneously.
Onglet - I think you are wise to not rush into exclusivity until you are ready. You obviously take your commitments seriously and it makes sense to me that you'd want to get to know the person well.
The purpose of exclusivity seems mainly about sex, so until you feel ready for intimacy, I don't see the point in being exclusive.
I have not taken commitments very seriously in the past, but I hope I am learning from my mistakes. If I say yes, I'm going to make sure I mean it.
I think it is fair to say that if it were the other way around, a woman trying to pin man down to be exclusive after a couple of dates, most people would think that's very unrealistic if not pushy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar
It begins from the moment she asks me. During the date I tell her about the exclusivity thing, telling her that I would respect her too much to be dating other people simultaneously.
I never asked anybody anything, so this is irrelevant.
My question: how quickly after initially meeting (and dating) a woman do you start inquiring as to whether she is dating other people? How long does it take you to start making it known that you would prefer that she stop seeing other people, that you yourself do not wish to date others and would instead like to see what happens with the two of you? How many dates? Do you have a semi-solid number, or does it depend on the woman?
Those are completely different topics. You asked, if we inquire about dating other people. It usually comes up on the 1st date with me. If she doesn't bring it up then I'll kind of prod her but if she still doesn't touch on it or deny it then I just assume she has a new date every other night. If she says she's seeing other people then I assume she's just not really interested in anything long term.
Stop seeing other people...I'd say no sooner than the 4th/5th date but that's just me. Nothing set in stone though. If the date were to go exceptionally well, then, there are exceptions.
I find it fascinating that you are willing to enter into a committed, exclusive relationship with someone before you've even gone on a date.
You always wait for the woman to ask you out, right? So what if after the first date, she doesn't call you again? How long do you sit by the phone waiting for your beloved to call you?
Those are completely different topics. You asked, if we inquire about dating other people. It usually comes up on the 1st date with me. If she doesn't bring it up then I'll kind of prod her but if she still doesn't touch on it or deny it then I just assume she has a new date every other night. If she says she's seeing other people then I assume she's just not really interested in anything long term.
Stop seeing other people...I'd say no sooner than the 4th/5th date but that's just me. Nothing set in stone though. If the date were to go exceptionally well, then, there are exceptions.
If I were wise enough to have typed out the actual dialogue that occurred, I think my question(s) would make a little more sense and you'd see how they are indeed related. Oh well, I have to take the blame for that one.
Honestly this thread was really me trying to determine whether I have a nutter on my hands. But to be honest I think it's *my* problem that I was a bit suspicious.
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