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For example? I'm curious what made you think that.
I'll try to keep it brief, since I have to get some rest tonight.
I went to a bar that I've been to quite a few times. It's a whole in the wall, nothing special, but the scene is typically laid back and I can relax, and lots of people have gotten to know me there and enjoy my company.
So this night a girl comes in, who's never been there before and started talking to some of my acquaintences. After a few minutes of conversation one of the guys decides to come over to me and asks if he can introduce me to her. I stand up to go meet her and give her a nice smile and say "Hello, I'm (name), would you like a drink?" She looks over to me and gives me one of the coldest shoulders I've had in a long time. Hell she didn't say a damn thing TO me, just brushed me off and kept talking to the other guy, and insisted on him buying her a drink.
I got pretty damn red in the face and left. The guy she was talking to had a GF so it was pretty funny when I heard how he rejected her.
JerZ, yes, considering I go to college that's basically my only option.
Of course it isn't. You could date older, you know. I'm not talking 45. How about asking out a woman in her mid-20s? Would that be so horrible?
Or how about the quieter college girl, the one who's a little different too, in the ways that you are? Versus the screaming Girls Gone Wild drinking bad-boy chasing idiot that you know you'd become very popular if you could nail, and besides, everyone else wants her so you want her too?
You're obviously more staid than the average college age male, so you can't possibly think you're going to get the majority of the good-time girls. You can find a woman who's right for you but as Spinx just said above, you're a self-fulfilling prophecy. You know it's you who are different from the norm/average (which isn't a bad thing)...yet you still say it's women who are the problem, not you. That's just not logical.
Hah, sure thing. Perhaps I'll start berating women when I talk to them, that should work, and I would almost enjoy it simply by knowing I'd be proving you wrong. Hope your master's is going well.. ah shoot, there I go again, being nice to people.
Honestly, I don't envy anyone in the dating pool. I know it can be difficult, but with the attitude you have it's no wonder you can't attract a woman. One can almost taste your bitterness through your posts. I'm not going to argue with you, the proof is in the pudding. Good luck.
"Bad boy" is another phrase that seems to mean different things to different people. (Similar to what Chowhound was saying): Is a bad boy a guy who encourages you to play hookey from work so he can whisk you off on his motorcycle to a secluded speakeasy, and afterward there is some urgent, torrid making out in the parking lot? (Okay, I got carried away with "speakeasy.")
Or is he a guy who shows you absolutely no respect, uses you, screws you over six ways to Sunday, and then moves on to his next conquest?
I'll try to keep it brief, since I have to get some rest tonight.
I went to a bar that I've been to quite a few times. It's a whole in the wall, nothing special, but the scene is typically laid back and I can relax, and lots of people have gotten to know me there and enjoy my company.
So this night a girl comes in, who's never been there before and started talking to some of my acquaintences. After a few minutes of conversation one of the guys decides to come over to me and asks if he can introduce me to her. I stand up to go meet her and give her a nice smile and say "Hello, I'm (name), would you like a drink?" She looks over to me and gives me one of the coldest shoulders I've had in a long time. Hell she didn't say a damn thing TO me, just brushed me off and kept talking to the other guy, and insisted on him buying her a drink.
I got pretty damn red in the face and left. The guy she was talking to had a GF so it was pretty funny when I heard how he rejected her.
That a good enough example? I have others.
Sweetie.
It was a bar.
A bar.
You don't need a bar woman and you don't want a bar woman even if you think, in the moment, that you do.
Really? You need only attend a university to see flagrant examples of women, demure or wild, going after the cool bad boy instead of the quiet calm type.
I am not what you call an extrovert but I'll be damed if what you say is only from your viewpoint only.
Having a sense of mystic about yourself is attractive. I've always played that role and it works well for me.
(Speaking in general, not directing it towards you)
Yes, you can still be calm and quiet but live an exciting life as well as exude a "quiet confidence".
Many of you quiet and calm types look and act desperate. Seriously. Many of you guys would not attract flies if you smelled like sh*t, let alone a women--and you're downright boring!! No one likes a boring person.
You need the self assured quiet confidence. The kind of confidence that causes people to look at you when you walk into a room. No, you do need to act like a damn loud mouth fool neither or in your case, a jock.
I walk into restaurants, stores, people look--why? because of my presence. It's a quiet confidence. Look at any US President right before he gets to the podium to make his speech. Observe the way Obama walks or even past Presidents. They have that quiet confidence. They are in total control. That's attractive to women.
The quiet confidence that says---"yeah, I'm the sh*t, I got this". To put it clearly.
And when you guys talk, talk with authority and confidence. Not with some sappy azz girly tone, like you're "soft"
No, that's not being arrogant nor cocky, you're not acting cocky or arrogant you just have a level of confidence that let's others know that YOU are your own man and YOU are very assure of yourself. You must think that about yourself, PERIOD!
Please do not MISUNDERSTAND what I mean when I say "yeah, I'm the sh*t" remarks.
I know everyone will blow it waaaay out of proportion because that's what losers do, they make up EXCUSES and pick apart everything the next guy says because it allows them to not succeed.
Forums are FILLED with losers, Debbie Downers and sour pusses!
I'll try to keep it brief, since I have to get some rest tonight.
I went to a bar that I've been to quite a few times. It's a whole in the wall, nothing special, but the scene is typically laid back and I can relax, and lots of people have gotten to know me there and enjoy my company.
So this night a girl comes in, who's never been there before and started talking to some of my acquaintences. After a few minutes of conversation one of the guys decides to come over to me and asks if he can introduce me to her. I stand up to go meet her and give her a nice smile and say "Hello, I'm (name), would you like a drink?" She looks over to me and gives me one of the coldest shoulders I've had in a long time. Hell she didn't say a damn thing TO me, just brushed me off and kept talking to the other guy, and insisted on him buying her a drink.
I got pretty damn red in the face and left. The guy she was talking to had a GF so it was pretty funny when I heard how he rejected her.
That a good enough example? I have others.
Well, that's not really a great example. You never got a chance to show her you were a gentleman. Women rebuff men everyday, but you can't say it's because they don't like gentlemen. That's just a fact of life - you can't prove she did it because you were nice and the other guy was a jerk.
Only really immature women, P_F. You're a great guy. You can certainly find a quality woman who likes gentlemen. Personal question you don't have to answer here, but do think about it, and I could be wrong: Are the women you're looking to date VERY young and/or very "all that"/Girls Gone Wild-esque? We women are super hot for gentleman once we grow up a little.
The women I date are super hot? No, they aren't worthy of any perfect 10 magazines or they get oggled often as she walks by men.
I've said it many times on this website, I'm not as physically attracted to women so much as I am mentally. I've dated one person based on physical attraction and I didn't get very far with her.
Most of the time the women I date I had gotten to know them before dating them.
The person above in my little story I offered to buy a drink out of kindness and it was her first time at the bar. I wasn't even thinking about trying to hit on her or pick her up.
Honestly, I don't envy anyone in the dating pool. I know it can be difficult, but with the attitude you have it's no wonder you can't attract a woman. One can almost taste your bitterness through your posts. I'm not going to argue with you, the proof is in the pudding. Good luck.
well i wouldn't blame myself for being bitter frankly.
JerZ, maybe. I feel like women don't change till they're at least 30, and even then there's a good chance she'll just leave ya. Or heck, maybe you leave her, either way it all ends up in the gutter more likely than not.
The person above in my little story I offered to buy a drink out of kindness and it was her first time at the bar. I wasn't even thinking about trying to hit on her or pick her up.
How do you know that? Just curious. I thought she didn't even talk to you but I could have misread the post.
Okay, so your theory is that being a jerk gets women and being a gentleman doesn't. You say your proof is that by being nice, you haven't gotten women. But it's not actually proof unless you've also proven the reverse: that being a jerk has gotten you women.
Otherwise, it's just bad luck with women in general.
So is that the truth? Do you have a steady dating life when you're acting more like a bad boy?
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