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Recently, my marriage was going downhill...fast. At the time, I did not care because maybe of my mid life crisis. Fast forward to today, we managed to stay together. Now, I think to myself what the heck were we thinking. I would not do it!
In the long run, if you stay together, after chasing another women, she will constantly ask why; or you will end up alone with ALOT of regret....and growing old alone is very sad. Maybe you will get lucky by finding someone new but will you ever really know her, like your current wife.
I know the grass is always greener on the other side of fence. In reality, your lucky that you found her on the first try. Stay put!!!
Go ahead and sow your wild oats.
Then watch your wild oats and your future wither and fade away.
Imo, if you walk out on what you have, you are way more than nuts.
Life is like a coin. You can spend it anyway you want. But you can only spend it once. Meaning you wont get it back.
If you walk out on your family to have a little mid life crises fun, and after you discover you have made a HUGE mistake, you might not get your family back either.
And if that doesn't bother you, then obviously you care nothing about anyone or anything but your own selfish desires and are willing to throw the ones that love you under the bus so you can satisfy your own mistaken ideas of what you have missed.
Your family will be there for you when you are old and frail. Your new short time flings will have forgotten you years before and doing another one night stand with another somebody they don't really care about.
Think about it. I hope you make the right choice.
Go ahead and sow your wild oats.
Then watch your wild oats and your future wither and fade away.
Imo, if you walk out on what you have, you are way more than nuts.
Life is like a coin. You can spend it anyway you want. But you can only spend it once. Meaning you wont get it back.
If you walk out on your family to have a little mid life crises fun, and after you discover you have made a HUGE mistake, you might not get your family back either.
And if that doesn't bother you, then obviously you care nothing about anyone or anything but your own selfish desires and are willing to throw the ones that love you under the bus so you can satisfy your own mistaken ideas of what you have missed.
Your family will be there for you when you are old and frail. Your new short time flings will have forgotten you years before and doing another one night stand with another somebody they don't really care about.
Think about it. I hope you make the right choice.
This post is so true.
Even if I were to follow through on my not so bright idea I would end up regretting it. It's the 'little' head that is telling me to do this, not the 'big' head.
Fortunately so far I've been listening to the 'big' head.
It sounds like you've made the correct decision, but still have nagging doubts about it. May I suggest an experiment? Go on a long hiking and camping trip by yourself or with some guy friends. Pretend you did exactly what you wanted and that this is the result. While you may enjoy aspects of the trip, think about what's missing and project that into the future.
BTW, I've been married for 30+ years too and I've had similar thoughts. I imagine what life would be like if my wife died early from illness (something she's brought up since her mom died in her mid 50's). Two scenarios come to mind. First is I meet someone and marry (what my wife believes will happen), and second is I'll have a life alone, but at least will have the kids and their families (if they ever get married). I'm thinking the second is more likely because I don't want deal with dating, so I keep telling her she's not her mother.
Even if I were to follow through on my not so bright idea I would end up regretting it. It's the 'little' head that is telling me to do this, not the 'big' head.
Fortunately so far I've been listening to the 'big' head.
But I guess my thought is why are you still agonizing over "sowing your oats" or still thinking of it? Are all your frinds single? It sounds like that.
You've got a charmed life and you're still not satisfied. Maybe there is something within yourself that is missing? Maybe instead of thinking about the "little head", start thinking in your heart about what exactly is it that you are searching for. Maybe there are unsolved issues stemming back from childhood that you need to resolve. Maybe going to a therapist just to talk might sort it out for you.
you and I are are about the same age; Ive married 24 yrs though to a wonderful woman that I didnt always treat nicely. Although, I never cheated on her, I was critical and controlling and plain mean-mouthed when I became irritated. Anyways, she just recently got to her filling point and left me. I regret it with all my heart and wish like anything I could have controlled myself and irritableness.
In short, when I read what you say about your 33 yr old marriage I think how great it sounds and when I read what others say about growing old alone, I think how terrible it could be. I expect dating back in the 70s or 80s was for you and me alot different than what it is today. I really dont wish for you to be on this situation as Ive recently found myself in---alone and regretting and missing the one you took for granted. Stay with her, love her and value her to the end.
What you are feeling is normal. I married young as well and went through a bad period in my late twenties. Most of my friends at that time were still single. They talked about life on campus, dating and all the wild stuff they were doing. I hadn't lived on my own before and it was really getting to me that I never got that experience. I commuted to college and well... felt old. After a little while those feelings passed because although my friends had great stories, they were unhappy. They wanted what I had. I then realized that instead of thinking about all that I missed, in a way I dodged a bullet. I simply got lucky finding "the one" early. I have a couple of friends that are now divorced and dating. There is a whole lot of crazy out there. Yikes!
Yo. Just which women do you think you would sow all these wild oats with? FORGET young girls ,so that means you will lose you wife forever just so you can try to have sex with some grannys........lordy..
OP, what ever you do, do it with a full and grateful heart. No one deserves the 2nd class treatment after that many years, maybe you could be a little more exciting?
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