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The thing about being single is the freedom. Also I think that one should be truly happy with themselves before embarking on a relationship. They don't have to rely on someone else to be happy.
I tend to think if you are miserable and single you will be miserable and together.
Marriage isn't all roses and warm puppies. It is a lot of work and tears. There can and often is a lot of good times.
Point is there is nothing wrong with being a lifelong single person.
I try to be very thankful for everything else that I DO have in my life. But when it all comes down to meaning, I feel my life has very little meaning or significance. There are so many, SO MANY, people in this world, and if I was to just disappear, almost no one would notice or care.
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I have been a life long single though with a twist, since my Dad lived with me for that last 15 years until passing on last year. Since than I am noticing that the lost of companionship can be very depressing. Like you mention it is good to have someone to confide in and tell about your day. Or just talk about various things that affect you both. Not to mention having a companion to do things with. To hold the other end of the board.
On the other side of that is having to live closely with another person is not always fun. You are forced to compromise on many things. You have to consider the other person when making decisions. That other person can be a real pain in the neck. They have their own goals and their own foibles. You find yourself wishing to be free of that person more than once. It is a balance between gain and loss.
As to the need for a support group. You need to create one for yourself if you are single. These are friends and neighbors that you can go to in times of need and just to shoot the breeze with. In order to do that you need to realize that it might not always be an equal relationship. Sometimes it may seem that you are the only one making any effort. There are other forms of groups that you can participate in depending on your beliefs and location. These can also help supply support against loneliness. Church, Civic organizations, Senior Centers (You need not be a Senior to be a volunteer at a Senior Center) and also School related. There are quite a bit of socializing that can be done through the Internet these days as well.
Other than that re: the meaning of existence? I am not sure there is one other than to make the best use of the moments that you have and strive to find things that fill the hollows. Indeed the vast majority of the world will never know your name and unlikely will not mourn your passing. Anymore than you know theirs. Think about that. If you want to have an impact on people you must first engage with them in some manner.
Of course knowing all the above is only limited help if you truly are a hermit by nature and not by circumstance. If you are such than you need to know that will contribute to problems with finding meaning and acceptance. In which case all I can suggest is a bit of stoicism.
My solution to this problem was staying single until I was 100% content with myself. Love found me. Fell into my lap when I wasn't even looking for it and trust me I was the biggest skeptic and never believed in love.
Regardless, if this relationship doesn't work out, I have no fear of going back to that single place. Because I know I was happy before I ever left it.
How are things going for you Superk? Any improvements since your Thread back in September? Your situation is somewhat different from the OP since you had a long relationship.
Well, I just got laid off. That kinda sucks, although it may force me to reconsider what I want to do for the rest of my working life. It'll certainly set me back as far as any long-term financial plans. The boredom's already starting to creep in, although I guess now's a good time to spend all day working out and really getting back into shape, continue to practice learning guitar, and to take some road trips that I haven't been able to do before. My divorce petition has been filed, just waiting for it to go before a judge and be approved. No progress on any match.com matches after a fill year of membership. The meetup.com groups have actually worked out better, but obviously I'll have to curtail my participation in them to cut my expenses a bit. I'll be looking out for some volunteer activities in the area.
Don't know what else to report on. I thought things couldn't get much lower, but obviously I was wrong.
Sorry to hear about your job loss. The bad economy is hitting a lot of people. It has quite the negative impact for relationships. How this is going to effect people going forward is anyones guess.
In my opinion we have not even seen the worst of it yet. Wait until they have to raise the interest rates.
I'll chime in with the other alone people. I was married and I still never had anyone to share things with or a shoulder to lean on. It was a bad marriage, very one-sided, and I was happier divorced.
I dated a bit afterward, but I finally had to face the fact that it wasn't likely I was ever going to experience a loving relationship. As a matter of fact, I also had to face the painful facts that I knew deep inside that there never was anyone for me and that I'd married a person who clearly showed all warning signs, just because I so desperately wanted to be married and have a life like a regular person. I did have a daughter, and she is grown now and in college and making her own life, so for more than a year I have been living alone for the first time in my life.
Some part of me will always be sad that I didn't get to experience what it's like to be loved, and I won't lie--sometimes that hurts. Don't dismiss those feelings, but also use those moments to set goals for yourself or make a plan to do something different--anything. One word of caution--people who don't know what this is like tend to airily dismiss your feelings with advice to volunteer and take care of other people--not necessarily ill advice, because that's important, too, but sometimes that can make you feel worse if all you've got is taking care of others. Instead, balance out helping others with time for yourself--go for a walk in the woods (I am currently making it a point to visit a different county park each weekend) and improve your photography or sketching skills; take a class or some seminar on a subject you've never studied before; go to an art gallery even if you don't know a damn thing about art. Make sure you go out amongst people, even if you aren't necessarily interacting with them, like at the library or the coffee shop at a bookstore. The point is, learn to embrace your solitude without letting it turn into loneliness. Feel free to mourn the fact that you don't have love, but set a limit on it and don't let it engulf you.
After my ex fiancce left me over a year ago, I made the decision never to get in a serious relationship ever again. The feeling of heartbreak when a long term relationship ends, is not worth it.
I am now pretty happy being single. I take my boat out every weekend and my dog and I go fishing. No one to worry about or check in with. It isn't too bad, if I say so myself.
In case of Emergency, always let someone know where you are taking your boat Bro.
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