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One of my own forms of suffering I struggle with is "Never knowing why" about some things in life. For example:
Never knowing why someone hates you because they won't talk to you. Or never knowing why someone was mean to you or a partner rejected you because they avoid you and won't be honest with you. Etc.
So my request for a talk is, Living with Why. On this anniversary of John F. Kennedy's passing, how do we accept the things we'll never know in life, especially the things that have hurts us? How do we live with never knowing why someone hurts us or, in the case of the Kennedy's and many family's, why our loved one was killed by a stranger?
Very often when we don't know why someone rejected or betrayed us we make ourselves crazy trying to figure it out because we fear if we don't know why and "fix" ourselves it may happen again with another person.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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By accepting that we're not mind readers, and the things we'll never known outnumber the things we do know/will know 100 to 1. If someone thinks poorly of you for no reason, that's their problem.
Why a loved one was killed by a stranger? The same reason why that destitute homeless guy wins lotto - that's just the way the Universe works, or the way God ordains it. The more content we are within ourselves the less these things will bother us.
Many years ago, when I was still a teenager, I was involved in a terrible accident. Before we left we jokingly "fought" over who would sit in the front seat. I lost and had to sit in the backseat. Both the driver and front seat passenger were killed. Those of us in the back lived. I have asked myself the question "why" many times.
The only thing I have come up with is that I will never know why. I don't think I was a better person, that I was meant for something great or anything like that. It wasn't fate it was dumb luck. Things happen. They just do. Don't waste your life wondering why. Live every day as if it were your last because it might be.
I agree. A person could drive themselves insane worrying about the "whys of life!"
You just learn to accept thats the way it is, if you cannot change it.
Don`t keep looking back in life, move forward. It doesn`t wait on you, the clock keeps tickin` and its short. Enjoy it!
I agree. A person could drive themselves insane worrying about the "whys of life!"
You just learn to accept thats the way it is, if you cannot change it.
Don`t keep looking back in life, move forward. It doesn`t wait on you, the clock keeps tickin` and its short. Enjoy it!
Many years ago, when I was still a teenager, I was involved in a terrible accident. Before we left we jokingly "fought" over who would sit in the front seat. I lost and had to sit in the backseat. Both the driver and front seat passenger were killed. Those of us in the back lived. I have asked myself the question "why" many times.
The only thing I have come up with is that I will never know why. I don't think I was a better person, that I was meant for something great or anything like that. It wasn't fate it was dumb luck. Things happen. They just do. Don't waste your life wondering why. Live every day as if it were your last because it might be.
That's so sad, VBmom. I know a couple of survivors of tragedies and it can't be easy to carry.
Quite easily, once you grow up and learn that you can only control your own behavior, not others. You sound like you have a few years to go, so just hang in there.
You don't always need to know the "why's" of life, you just need to learn how to accept rejection, change, and the occasional disappointment. No one is immune to that. So if it helps you any, you're not alone, we all have to learn how to accept these things, or else spend a lot of sleepless nights dwelling on it.
why waste your energy trying to figure out why???? In order to "fix yourself" you would have to assume that it is YOU who needs to be fixed.Maybe it's not, just be happy and don't make other peoples hangups yours..
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