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This whole thread is why I don't expect things from people. Then, I am never upset or hurt based on my expectations. I would have just thrown the party because I wanted to....whoever showed up would have been appreciated, but I wouldn't have given a second thought to those who didn't show up. It was a party, not an event recquired for all.
If they said they were coming, they should have showed up. There is no excuse for lieing. You were the one who spent your money and time trying to make sure everyone was fed and fit in there just right. You paid for the extras, expecting they would come. But at least it was just one couple. I once went to a party where nobody but me and 2 other people showed up. There was a LOT of food left over at the end of the day.
Since this couple didn't even show up when you guys had a funeral, it's possible they are not very social, or might not want to socialize with you. Next time you have a party, if you do invite them, make sure you call the night before to remind them again. If they don't show up again, FORGET them !
It is a little thoughtless for your friends to say they'd come and then not show. That being said, it's time to get over it and move on. Things come up and not everyone believes they should live by your social code. If they did we'd have a perfect world.
It is a little thoughtless for your friends to say they'd come and then not show. That being said, it's time to get over it and move on. Things come up and not everyone believes they should live by your social code. If they did we'd have a perfect world.
Don't invite them to your next party.
We've already planed to not invite the "No shows" and the "We have other things to do so we're going to make a late cameo appearance" couples to anything and that goes for both ways. After not hearing from them when my parents passed and I was at their fathers funeral and when ever one of their kids graduate, get married, or have kids we plan on a "Sorry but no thanks" . After all, we did contact everyone six weeks in advance and asked them if they were interested and all said yes. Then my wife took the time and effort to make the invitations and sent them out, with all the info on them a week later. But yet they still couldn't put their stupid sports aside and show on time and change their other plans a little.
My wife reminded me of a part in the show "Sex in the City" when Carry Bradshaw the main character had her shoes stolen at a baby shower. She talked about all the invites as a signal childless person that she would get from friends ie, baby showers, kids birthdays, friends birthdays, anniversaries, communions and the list went on, and she was always (gracious freind) to go to each and everyone one of them bringing gifts. But yet she raised the question, "what about me?" Just because I have no children and not married doesn't mean that I wouldn't like to receive gifts. Now I do realize that it's only a show on TV, but you have to admit that "TV reflect Life" and visa-versa, really closely. Just because we have no children and we love our friends doesn't mean that that gives anyone the right to take advantage of our hospitality and good nature.
So maybe it's time for us to start saying "NO THANK YOU, WE'RE TO BUSY" to a few of them. All of those who did show have always been great about Christmas card, calling on birthdays and being just plain great friends. Heck, one of our freinds didn't even know my mother, but yet she showed up at the funeral to support us on that day, "God Bless Her". But the two couples that I have mentioned have always been the ones to say, "We need to get together sometime" but yet when you try, they're to busy. So it may be time to cut and run when it comes to them and their style of friendship and move on.
I'm not saying what these people did was right or wrong but I certainly wouldn't get a stick up my rear over it and play a petty game of 'guess who's not coming to your party?' game from here on out. People and events are never perfect or go according to the perfect plan.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EarthBound?
We were thinking of making this a yearly event, but now we're having second thoughts because our friends "the two couple mentioned" want to become sticks in the mud.
To determine whether you would have an annual party based on two couples you know comes across as you're being a bit obsessive with these people and that no one else matters nor having a party without them. I have to question that kind of decision based on that. It comes across a bit needy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EarthBound?
one would think that friends are more important than some silly little child's game. But at least they showed.
One could also argue that a halloween costume party is a silly little child's party as well. Don't throw sticks and stones.
We've already planed to not invite the "No shows" and the "We have other things to do so we're going to make a late cameo appearance" couples to anything and that goes for both ways. After not hearing from them when my parents passed and I was at their fathers funeral and when ever one of their kids graduate, get married, or have kids we plan on a "Sorry but no thanks" . After all, we did contact everyone six weeks in advance and asked them if they were interested and all said yes. Then my wife took the time and effort to make the invitations and sent them out, with all the info on them a week later. But yet they still couldn't put their stupid sports aside and show on time and change their other plans a little.
My wife reminded me of a part in the show "Sex in the City" when Carry Bradshaw the main character had her shoes stolen at a baby shower. She talked about all the invites as a signal childless person that she would get from friends ie, baby showers, kids birthdays, friends birthdays, anniversaries, communions and the list went on, and she was always (gracious freind) to go to each and everyone one of them bringing gifts. But yet she raised the question, "what about me?" Just because I have no children and not married doesn't mean that I wouldn't like to receive gifts. Now I do realize that it's only a show on TV, but you have to admit that "TV reflect Life" and visa-versa, really closely. Just because we have no children and we love our friends doesn't mean that that gives anyone the right to take advantage of our hospitality and good nature.
So maybe it's time for us to start saying "NO THANK YOU, WE'RE TO BUSY" to a few of them. All of those who did show have always been great about Christmas card, calling on birthdays and being just plain great friends. Heck, one of our freinds didn't even know my mother, but yet she showed up at the funeral to support us on that day, "God Bless Her". But the two couples that I have mentioned have always been the ones to say, "We need to get together sometime" but yet when you try, they're to busy. So it may be time to cut and run when it comes to them and their style of friendship and move on.
I don't think you're going to be able to get past this episode without some serious group therapy. In order to live life you're going to have to learn to roll with the punches. Someone else has already said that it was only a party.
Personally, I think sending out invitations for a Halloween party five weeks in advance is a little too early. It's not a wedding. Two and a half weeks is about right for something of that nature. Otherwise, most people forget. And yes, more important things do come up at the last minute, even if it's some stupid sports thing.
You sound like you spend far too much time keeping score in relationships. Martyrs are bores. If you're religiously inclined, try some forgiveness. Forgetting works equally well.
I don't think you're going to be able to get past this episode without some serious group therapy. In order to live life you're going to have to learn to roll with the punches. Someone else has already said that it was only a party.
Personally, I think sending out invitations for a Halloween party five weeks in advance is a little too early. It's not a wedding. Two and a half weeks is about right for something of that nature. Otherwise, most people forget. And yes, more important things do come up at the last minute, even if it's some stupid sports thing.
You sound like you spend far too much time keeping score in relationships. Martyrs are bores. If you're religiously inclined, try some forgiveness. Forgetting works equally well.
One sided relationships are hard to maintain, so maybe it's time to cut my losses and move on without them.
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. After all, we did contact everyone six weeks in advance and asked them if they were interested and all said yes. Then my wife took the time and effort to make the invitations and sent them out, with all the info on them a week later. But yet they still couldn't put their stupid sports aside and show on time and change their other plans a little.
In order to live life you're going to have to learn to roll with the punches. Someone else has already said that it was only a party.
