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The thunder is rolling and the lightening is stricking. The rain is coming down.
As I look outside the window, the rain that has fallen flows across the road in sheets. Hardly with a place to go.
That last bit of lightening was so very close, but things in the house, unlikeoutside, remain calm.
He does flip through the channels telling the people to shut up as he goes along, but that is normal...for him.
More than 14,000 people out of power right now. Not much yet, but i didn't even know it was supposed to rain. I need to get out to the store, and also out of the house, to call my Office Manager.
He wants me to go ahead and cook dinner. I can do that.
The storm has subsided now, you can hear faint thunder in the far off distance. I feel it in my stomach.
I know it is what i HAVE to do. But, I know that once I see my lawyer tomorrow, and go to the courthouse on Wednesday re custody, there will be another storm.
When he gets that subpeona to appear in court over custody, the storm will start. But i have approached it at all other angles....we have even agreed at other angles.
I can't live in his fantasy world like nothing has happened. he and the kids are playing UNO and I will get ready to pick some things up from the store, and call my boss, to let her know that on Monday, I will only be able to work a half day, and on Wenesday, probably not at all.
There is a storm inside my body, maybe a fear. I truly don't know what he will do, but it is something that i have to do. no more dictation and controlling. I can only pray the judge will go my way. All of this could have been done so easily. We had agreed on everything, but it comes to this.
I am so sorry you are having to fight this battle with such a beast of a husband. I'm sure he knows you well enough to have an understanding of how much fear he puts in your heart. Robyn, if you fear for yourself and your children physically, you should do everything that you can to have someone near you and the kids when those papers are delivered. Tell that to the people at the courhouse, police, sisters, brothers, or whomever but by no means let this man endanger you or the kids. I wish I knew more that I could tell you but all I can say is be careful. The way that you've described him throughout this thread gives me a mental picture of someone who is quite capable of turning violent. Be strong Robyn, and be cautious. Take care.
I am so sorry you are having to fight this battle with such a beast of a husband. I'm sure he knows you well enough to have an understanding of how much fear he puts in your heart. Robyn, if you fear for yourself and your children physically, you should do everything that you can to have someone near you and the kids when those papers are delivered. Tell that to the people at the courhouse, police, sisters, brothers, or whomever but by no means let this man endanger you or the kids. I wish I knew more that I could tell you but all I can say is be careful. The way that you've described him throughout this thread gives me a mental picture of someone who is quite capable of turning violent. Be strong Robyn, and be cautious. Take care.
I got to the store, and I called my boss, let her know of the different things I would have to do this week, would try my best to return to work, work around these things, she said ok. She knows what is going on.
The storm was over, the literal storm. I talked to her and i felt ok about it. I guess it hasn't all hit me yet, but just the fact that calling her was that first step.
I got the things I needed from the store and came out. Still no rain. As I approached the exit off of the interstate for my road, the rain poured and there was thunder and lightening, not a mile away from home now.
It looms over my home. He sings in the shower right now, something about you dont say that you don't love me anymore...sounds like a country song he is singing. I hope things aren't what they seem...
I know this song, what is it? I wish he would come to real life.
Tell me I'm not dreamin.. Tell me that you didn't say goodbye. He has always been such a good singer, he sings right now, a song that seems to hold his feelings. I can feel the depth of his song, of the feeling behind it.
When people sing, the emotions come out. This is true of everyone. When I write, my emotions come out, but also, when I sing.
He cannot hurt me. His song cannot hurt me. Months ago, I would have sat here in tears, but not in this instant. He is doing this to himself right now.
All of my tears, I know, are not gone, but listening to him sing just now, no tears. Only, understanding, if you will. because...I loved him, and it was hard. It was hard for all of this to come about. But my tears will flow for other reasons, my children.....
You could always sing back, "You're sorry, you're lonesome, and scared. And you say you'd be happy if you could just come back home. Well, here's a quarter, call someone who cares"
That's some Travis Tritt. And the line is, "I'm tired of pretending I don't love you anymore."
I had not caught all of it, bits and pieces of the song, as I sat here... I knew, though, I had heard it before.
Tonight, just a few minutes ago, I gathered my clock, my blanket and pillow, my pajamas.
Why are you still sleeping out here on the couch? Do you hate me that badly?
And then from there we go to ..those jeans look good on you
Lindsay says, so, mommy, you sleep out here, and Daddy gets to sleep in your room all by himself on the bed?
yes sweetie.
He continued with his song. Now, he is in bed, and I am here. He had disagreed to go with me to sign the title to my car over to me, then changed his mind again and will.
To me, this means, I have no idea what will happen.
You could always sing back, "You're sorry, you're lonesome, and scared. And you say you'd be happy if you could just come back home. Well, here's a quarter, call someone who cares"
and a smile crosses her face, just as wide and plain as day, her dimples bustin loose!
Thank you Shuke!
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A new storm...
