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The family is coming over for dinner tonight for Christmas Eve dinner. Eighteen in all. And, boy, we're glad to have them. For the most part, they are wonderful, fun, and loving. It's going to be a great night. The wine is chilled, the appetizers are ready to go, the house is clean, and the decorations are up. Pretty great stuff for us, because we love to entertain.
The fly in the ointment? My mother's SO has a daughter and two children of her own. Every year the invitation is extended and, every year, she dithers up to the last minute on whether her family will come or not.
Then, when she decides about five tonight that they can come, she will arrive 30-45 minutes late for dinner with extra guests in the form of her son's girlfriend or a neighbor she knows. So we will get out an extra plate and seat them.
Of course, while they're here physically, they're not here in spirit. The grandchildren, 18 and 22, don't talk to anybody, instead playing games on their mobile phones at the dinner table. The daughter only gives Yes/No answers to our conversation attempts. When she does actually talk, she's essentially disapproving of what we served (This year it's Cornish game hens. Yum), how we shouldn't have wine with dinner, and then leaves immediately after she's finished eating (Admittedly, by that point, it's a relief when she goes).
Sigh.
Here's my question. How do people not learn simple manners? How do their parents not teach them? How do people manage to live without consideration for others? Personally, if I were my mother's SO, I would have read my daughter the riot act a long time ago for behaving in such an entitled manner. It's not like they were raised in a barn.
And, just to lighten up here, what's the rudest thing you've ever encountered from a house guest?
The family is coming over for dinner tonight. Eighteen in all. And we're glad to have them. For the most part, they are wonderful, fun, and loving. It's going to be a great night.
The fly in the ointment? My mother's SO has a daughter and two children of her own. Every year the invitation is extended and, every year, she dithers up to the last minute on whether they can come or not.
Then, when she decides about five that evening that they can come, she then arrives 30-45 minutes late for dinner with extra guests in the form of her son's girlfriend or a neighbor she knows. So we get out an extra plate and seat them.
Of course, it's not like they're actually there. The grandchildren, 18 and 22, don't talk to anybody, instead playing with their mobile phones. The daughter only gives Yes/No answers to our conversation attempts. When she does actually talk, she's essentially disapproving of what we served (This year it's Cornish game hens. Yum), how we shouldn't have wine with dinner, and then leaves immediately after she's finished eating (Admittedly, by that point, it's a relief when she goes).
Sigh.
Here's my question. How do people not learn simple manners? How do their parents not teach them? How do people manage to live without consideration for others?
And, just to lighten up here, what's the rudest thing you've ever encountered from a house guest?
I think some people simply were never taught (and there are probably some that just don't care. It's sad because they don't realize that rude or irresponsible behavior is pushing other people away due to something so basic.
I don't know if this counts but one time I had a friend over who threw one of my CDs down when she realized it wasn't the one she thought it was. Also I've had friends who showed up at my place without asking me, or even a couple of them who used to come over even though I told them I was busy. Needless to say that didn't last long.
I think some people simply were never taught (and there are probably some that just don't care. It's sad because they don't realize that rude or irresponsible behavior is pushing other people away due to something so basic.
I don't know if this counts but one time I had a friend over who threw one of my CDs down when she realized it wasn't the one she thought it was. Also I've had friends who showed up at my place without asking me, or even a couple of them who used to come over even though I told them I was busy. Needless to say that didn't last long.
You said a mouthful there. It's not like manners are some arcane code. It's not really a matter of knowing which implement is the fish fork. It's just a matter of having respect for other people. How hard is that?
When my children were younger and were invited to someone's house, I always reminded them to use good manners because, "That way, you'll be invited back."
Hah. That wasn't oriented towards you. I think I'm still a little annoyed because we just had the annual "I'm not sure if I will be making it to dinner tonight...I'll let you know around 5 p.m." call.
Why sorry? I think you and the OP are in agreement.
I think it's just that they are not taught. And the first thing they should be taught is they have the option to stay home since they are old enough to do so if they aren't going to be decent guests.
Why sorry? I think you and the OP are in agreement.
I think it's just that they are not taught. And the first thing they should be taught is they have the option to stay home since they are old enough to do so if they aren't going to be decent guests.
Yes. I didn't understand the need for an apology either.
But teaching your child manners is basic to them being socially adept later on in life. One simply does their child no favors otherwise.
The family is coming over for dinner tonight for Christmas Eve dinner. Eighteen in all. And, boy, we're glad to have them. For the most part, they are wonderful, fun, and loving. It's going to be a great night. The wine is chilled, the appetizers are ready to go, the house is clean, and the decorations are up. Pretty great stuff for us, because we love to entertain.
The fly in the ointment? My mother's SO has a daughter and two children of her own. Every year the invitation is extended and, every year, she dithers up to the last minute on whether her family will come or not.
Then, when she decides about five tonight that they can come, she will arrive 30-45 minutes late for dinner with extra guests in the form of her son's girlfriend or a neighbor she knows. So we will get out an extra plate and seat them.
Of course, while they're here physically, they're not here in spirit. The grandchildren, 18 and 22, don't talk to anybody, instead playing games on their mobile phones at the dinner table. The daughter only gives Yes/No answers to our conversation attempts. When she does actually talk, she's essentially disapproving of what we served (This year it's Cornish game hens. Yum), how we shouldn't have wine with dinner, and then leaves immediately after she's finished eating (Admittedly, by that point, it's a relief when she goes).
Sigh.
Here's my question. How do people not learn simple manners? How do their parents not teach them? How do people manage to live without consideration for others? Personally, if I were my mother's SO, I would have read my daughter the riot act a long time ago for behaving in such an entitled manner. It's not like they were raised in a barn.
And, just to lighten up here, what's the rudest thing you've ever encountered from a house guest?
You should move the dinner time up a little - maybe 30 minutes so when they show up, you can show them where the leftovers are and tell them to help themselves to what's left. That way their cell phone playing won't disturb the good guests and you don't have to listen to their comments. Unless they're shy or something, if they won't respond to questions asked then just let it go, get them on their way as soon as possible.
My SO has a SIL just like that.... Her brother and the wife and kids show up and they kids are friggin heathens.... They won't eat what Mrs.Chow's mother puts out, they instead gotta go and get mcdonalds for the kids. The daughter is around 17 and is the most conceited spoiled a hole you'd ever want to meet. She's really pretty and knows it and thinks the whole world is there to serve her.
The son is a little whiny brat around 13 but acts like he's 6. I swear, if I had pulled that kind of crap that these kids pull, I still be knocked out from the backhand my mom would have dealt.
I don't know what happenend to my peers generation and kid raising... I don't have kids myself, but it seems like all the peope that we know who are late 30's early 40't the kids are all spoiled douchebags....
My SO has a SIL just like that.... Her brother and the wife and kids show up and they kids are friggin heathens.... They won't eat what Mrs.Chow's mother puts out, they instead gotta go and get mcdonalds for the kids. The daughter is around 17 and is the most conceited spoiled a hole you'd ever want to meet. She's really pretty and knows it and thinks the whole world is there to serve her.
The son is a little whiny brat around 13 but acts like he's 6. I swear, if I had pulled that kind of crap that these kids pull, I still be knocked out from the backhand my mom would have dealt.
I don't know what happenend to my peers generation and kid raising... I don't have kids myself, but it seems like all the peope that we know who are late 30's early 40't the kids are all spoiled douchebags....
Merry Christmas.
...not only that, but they're starting threads on CD that are titled, "Why Can't I Make Friends?" or "Why Do Women Not Want A Relationship With Me?"
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Also I've had friends who showed up at my place without asking me, or even a couple of them who used to come over even though I told them I was busy. Needless to say that didn't last long. 
