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Skeet, thanks for your insight. It sounds like our SO's are very very similar. Fiance already knows that when we get married his paycheck will be deposited into my account and I will pay the bills. This is what we do for our mortgage already. My family is very financially responsible, where his is not.
Coolhand, this "extra" money is not that much as he doesnt have much cushion from paycheck to paycheck (where as I do). Easier to miss a few hundred versus several thousand... He hardly checks his bank account and with a few extra purchases for Christmas that money dissapeared. He does not buy the latest electronics, clothes, etc. The money went to gas, food and a few gifts.
So where did he think this "extra" money magically appeared from? Sounds like B.S. to me. You need to nip this in the bud before you get married, although you already made a long term financial commitment to him by getting into a mortgage together. Take over the finances if he shows any more signs of financial irresponsibility.
Oh you know, the magical money fairy left it in his bank account
Yeah, unless we are talking about $30.00 a month, I don't buy his excuse. That said, if you want to have a future with him and don't mind being in charge of finances, I don't think you should dump him. Lots of households have the female in charge of money. Just make him turn his paycheck over to you.
I'm sorry, but he's obviously a very stupid man if he thought bills would come out automatically, didn't bother to check his account , then spent all the money. That is more than just being irresponsible, that is absolutely stupidity.
Some folks like my hubby are extremely smart, close to genius levels on other things. Money, not so much. He would not check his checking account at all, he had no math skills on money whatsoever. Some people are always going to be this way and some learn (my hubby has learned a bit). He had no concept whatsoever on how to schedule his money in a way to pay his bills, no concept, it was a surreal thing to me as for me I had a great grasp of financial literacy and I couldn't wrap my brain around why someone could be this way. Once you start asking the juicy questions such as how someone's family handled money, things become so much clearer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68
So where did he think this "extra" money magically appeared from? Sounds like B.S. to me.
I check my accounts all the time and if someone is not organized on the ins and outs from their checking account, it's very easy for someone to see the extra money and think that's the money from the bonus they got at work, etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SXMGirl
Do not marry someone who cannot manage money.
People do change if they want; my hubby is proof of that. It doesn't happen overnight though. 4 years after being married, he is coming around. It just takes someone willing with work with their partner. More serious issues like gambling is another ball game.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC
Lots of households have the female in charge of money. Just make him turn his paycheck over to you.
Some folks like my hubby are extremely smart, close to genius levels on other things. Money, not so much. He would not check his checking account at all, he had no math skills on money whatsoever. Some people are always going to be this way and some learn (my hubby has learned a bit). He had no concept whatsoever on how to schedule his money in a way to pay his bills, no concept, it was a surreal thing to me as for me I had a great grasp of financial literacy and I couldn't wrap my brain around why someone could be this way. Once you start asking the juicy questions such as how someone's family handled money, things become so much clearer.
I check my accounts all the time and if someone is not organized on the ins and outs from their checking account, it's very easy for someone to see the extra money and think that's the money from the bonus they got at work, etc.
People do change if they want; my hubby is proof of that. It doesn't happen overnight though. 4 years after being married, he is coming around. It just takes someone willing with work with their partner. More serious issues like gambling is another ball game.
I do it.
Sorry, I don't buy that. Basic money management is not rocket science. Anyone can check their bank account these days, see the money has come out, put two and two together and figure it out. I don't care if some people are oh so much of a genius they don't do day to day stuff like balance the cheque book
Sorry, I don't buy that. Basic money management is not rocket science. Anyone can check their bank account these days, see the money has come out, put two and two together and figure it out. I don't care if some people are oh so much of a genius they don't do day to day stuff like balance the cheque book
Some folks are never taught money management skills when living with their families; my hubby lived in a home that was paycheck to paycheck. When we got married, I started to teach him about these things and how to develop calendars for when bills are due, saving money each month for an emergency fund, having fun money, etc. He never knew how to do balance a checkbook because no one ever taught him and he always found it very overwhelming to start to teach himself. He also didn't have any mentors he could turn to guide him either.
There are different type of intelligence: some folks are very intelligent when it comes to analytical skills, other have more a gift to counsel/help others, etc but when you marry someone everyone brings their strengths to the table and to work together as a team.
Then in that case, I would bail him out if he were my husband. If he were just a live-in boyfriend, I absolutely would not bail him out. Whether or not you are married is essential, and yes there is a difference.
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