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As if I've mentioned in other posts after the one you've quoted, he has taken responsibility and stepped up to the plate. He has learned a great deal about money management in the 4 years we've been married. It would definitely be another story if he didn't want to learn or wish to continue his old ways or simply ignore the issue but he's been quite the learner and has kept learning as we go on.
My fiance is about 10 years old than me and was irresponsible with money while in college and for the first 5 or so years after graduation. He wracked up about 10k in CC debt, on top of a car payment which is approx $400/mo.
We have been together for over 6 years and bought a modest house together this year. We are 50/50 on the mortgage payments, he pays cable and some food, while i pay the rest (water, electric, etc etc). He has a very small student loan payment, while I pay $600/mo on mine. He earns about half of what I do so I have been ok with him contributing less than me.
Long story short, he thought the cable, CC and student loan payments were being made automatically online.... until the bill collectors started calling. He blew through the money that was supposed to go to these bills, thinking it was extra $$.
Do I bail him out or let him learn from this? My name is not attached to any of these bills, but of course with marriage in the future his FICO score might weigh me down if this continues.
This makes me want to pull my hair out!!!!!!!!
Listen to Suze Orman,as well as those that have been there,done that. You are responsible for more than you think if you are 50/50 on the house. Stop while you know exactly how much you are on the hook for. DO NOT MARRY someone that cannot support himself.
I still have credit flare ups from my 1st ex.....I married him at 19 and I'm 44!!!!! He fried his credit and asked to use mine cuz he learned his lesson! They don't as long as someone bails them out. So, he might wine that you don't love him...for God's sake at some point you have to love yourself more. Losers remain losers 90% of the time and who will be there to help you when you could have helped yourself all along?
Great answer for all those homeless women with kids......saving a man will sink your ship as well as the lifeboat you should be providing for your children.
Well you are posted on the Relationship site AND the business page and eveyone is telling you the same.......listen since there are GREAT people om both PAGES
OMG RUN!! My bf at the time did the same thing. Spent a crap load in credit cards thinking it was free money and hid it from me. When I found out, I was furious....I never could get over the whole thing, so I got over him.
OP, as a few posters have mentioned Suzy Orman Show. I watch her every week.
Such disasterous results ( be it man or woman ) who cannot handle money and run credit cards behind your back. In one story the girl ran $ 39,000 in credit cards and her husband did not know. She destroyed his credit .
On another hand, a man did the same to his wife. Ran thousands and thousands of dollars up and it did not end there. That same person took out loans, borrowed money, just distengrated the financial stability of the marriage..
Lastly, a women appeared on the show, had beautiful credit, house she owned free and clear, retirement accounts, bank accounts, and within 2 years her irresponsible new husband destroyed everything, run up debt, on and on..
The love will blind you so you can't see whats in front of you.
Some folks are never taught money management skills when living with their families; my hubby lived in a home that was paycheck to paycheck. When we got married, I started to teach him about these things and how to develop calendars for when bills are due, saving money each month for an emergency fund, having fun money, etc. He never knew how to do balance a checkbook because no one ever taught him and he always found it very overwhelming to start to teach himself. He also didn't have any mentors he could turn to guide him either.
There are different type of intelligence: some folks are very intelligent when it comes to analytical skills, other have more a gift to counsel/help others, etc but when you marry someone everyone brings their strengths to the table and to work together as a team.
Thank you thank you thank you for pointing out the obvious to the presumtuous. Nobody is born knowing how to balance a check book, how to plan a budget, or how to manage money. It's incredible to me that there are so many arrogant know-it-alls in this thread the recommend not marrying this guy, and making all kinds of haughty and "knowlier-than-thou" comments simply because someone does not know the ins and outs of money management. Contrary to what some think, money management is not common sense; it is a learned skill, like writing, painting, carpentry, etc. You have to learn it to use it.
My fiance is about 10 years old than me and was irresponsible with money while in college and for the first 5 or so years after graduation. He wracked up about 10k in CC debt, on top of a car payment which is approx $400/mo.
We have been together for over 6 years and bought a modest house together this year. We are 50/50 on the mortgage payments, he pays cable and some food, while i pay the rest (water, electric, etc etc). He has a very small student loan payment, while I pay $600/mo on mine. He earns about half of what I do so I have been ok with him contributing less than me.
Long story short, he thought the cable, CC and student loan payments were being made automatically online.... until the bill collectors started calling. He blew through the money that was supposed to go to these bills, thinking it was extra $$.
Do I bail him out or let him learn from this? My name is not attached to any of these bills, but of course with marriage in the future his FICO score might weigh me down if this continues.
This makes me want to pull my hair out!!!!!!!!
Sit him down an teach him money management. There are several on-line programs that you can have him enroll in that teach basic money principles, how to save, how to create a budget, etc. This is more productive than pulling your hair out or listening to these know-it-all idiots that think that you should just bail on your fiance because he doesn't know how to manage money.
Truth be told, there is at least one aspect of life in which every poster in here is a total failure, or incompetent at best. It's just a matter of finding the right aspect of life, and we all come up short. None of us was born knowing how to do what we need to do to make it in life. We had to learn from someone else, even if it was just through observation.
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