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We have been together for 5 years and 2 children together and live what I thought was pretty happily.
A few months after the birth of our second child, I was diagnosed with cancer, had biopsies, surgeries and lots of tests. He "reconnected" with some Jr high girlfriend and said that they were friends. I read their emails flirting, saying good night, etc. It seemed to come more from him than her. I found a picture of her cleavage on his cell phone when they were at lunch. I don't think that he cheated because I caught him before he had the chance, told her husband. I don't think that she was willing to cheat on her husband. Then he sent her a picture of his penis. I flipped out at this point because I was battling cancer. Thyroid cancer usually isn't deadly but at this point I realized that he is a sociopath and I might as well be dead because if I stay he will eventually cheat, right? But if I go then I am a lonely broke single mother? What a life? I also want to add that having 2 children and cancer in a few years, I have gained 25 lbs... maybe he isn't attracted to me anymore? I am trying to loose weight but I am so miserable.
Then he had another girl coworkers number hidden in his phone and I saw a text that wasn't really inappropriate but why did he disguise it? Now I am flipping out that he is try to sleep with her too, and I have NOTHING to base that on except for thats what I am expecting now!
You do not mention how old either of you are but it sounds as thou you are both real young.
Little thing called marriage actually makes a bond. I know it is just a legal thing with a license but it works magic.
You state the boyfriend is re-connected to his jr high school friends, wow. Sounds like high school drama.
We have been together for 5 years and 2 children together and live what I thought was pretty happily.
A few months after the birth of our second child, I was diagnosed with cancer, had biopsies, surgeries and lots of tests. He "reconnected" with some Jr high girlfriend and said that they were friends. I read their emails flirting, saying good night, etc. It seemed to come more from him than her. I found a picture of her cleavage on his cell phone when they were at lunch. I don't think that he cheated because I caught him before he had the chance, told her husband. I don't think that she was willing to cheat on her husband. Then he sent her a picture of his penis. I flipped out at this point because I was battling cancer. Thyroid cancer usually isn't deadly but at this point I realized that he is a sociopath and I might as well be dead because if I stay he will eventually cheat, right? But if I go then I am a lonely broke single mother? What a life? I also want to add that having 2 children and cancer in a few years, I have gained 25 lbs... maybe he isn't attracted to me anymore? I am trying to loose weight but I am so miserable.
Then he had another girl coworkers number hidden in his phone and I saw a text that wasn't really inappropriate but why did he disguise it? Now I am flipping out that he is try to sleep with her too, and I have NOTHING to base that on except for thats what I am expecting now!
HELP
First of all, I'm sorry for your cancer scare and really hope you are on the road to recovery.
Your boyfriends behavior is reprehensible. He is not, however, necessarily a sociopath - though really, what does it matter one way or the other why he behaved so badly?
I don't care if you had gained 100 pounds, that is no excuse for his actions.
Unless he expresses extreme remorse, apologizes profusely and sincerely and does what it takes to make this up to you, you are better off without him because he really doesn't love you
I don't know about "sociopath" because that's one of those words that gets tossed around all the time, but it does sound like your boyfriend is a real jerk.
Sure, you are not married but he should be faithful to you if not then why did he decided to commit to you and become boyfriend/girlfriend? It's just not acceptable to cheat regardless of you having cancer or not. Having cancer is not the same as getting a cold and you need at this time for him to be by yourside. It's just wrong and totally uncalled for from him. I am sure you have many people around you (friends, relatives, family, coworkers, etc.) that love and care for you. Don't let this guy blind you from seeing that.
Men don't deal with the stress from an illness the same way females do. They are really bad at it and will often run, in one form or another, because they don't know what to do. I had a girlfriend whose husband sat in a bar while she had heart surgery, but he was otherwise a good husband and father. The mother of a disabled daughter had to track her ex-husband down from out of state to just get the court ordered insurance and support, but eventually, they were able to re-connect enough to ensure the children were cared for. Read some the other relationship threads and it doesn't take long to see that you have a common problem. Maybe you should be glad you aren't married to that guy. If, you are interested in him, he needs to get into therapy. To me, he sounds too immature to handle children and illness all on one plate. Long term, you need to get yourself educated, employed and be ready to care for yourself and children without him. If you take care of yourself first, you can protect your children and deal with what ever he does from a distance and in a healthy relationship.
My dear Heidi,
Run! Do not pass 'go'. Good men do not behave in this manner, not ever. Trust me. I married two sociopaths and got reall smart in the past 15 years. Here's one that may give you an idea what I'm talking about. when I was in the hospital after delivering our 1st child, my es and his best bud went out partying with all the women they could find. How did they fund this 3 day party, you ask? He sold my beautiful emerald cut diamond wedding rings. When I got home, he yelled at me for losing them. I found them on sale at a local jeweler.
My dear Heidi,
Run! Do not pass 'go'. Good men do not behave in this manner, not ever. Trust me. I married two sociopaths and got reall smart in the past 15 years. Here's one that may give you an idea what I'm talking about. when I was in the hospital after delivering our 1st child, my es and his best bud went out partying with all the women they could find. How did they fund this 3 day party, you ask? He sold my beautiful emerald cut diamond wedding rings. When I got home, he yelled at me for losing them. I found them on sale at a local jeweler.
I am not talking about me, one was a girlfriend and the other was, one of several, work clients. I'm glad you are doing better now.
We can only take people at their word so if the OP is a fake, it is on her not the people she used. We do need keep in mind that this a public forum which attracts a wide spectrum of characters so don't give up any personal info. Have a good weekend and stay warm.
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